When he went away
He said,”Lehitraot,mama.”
Do vstrechi.
He died, but I’m still here
Yes,in my heart I feel his love.
But why did I live,
And he did not?
Auf wiedersehen
Lehitraot.
Yes,darling,I’ll see you later
,When the sky turns black and all the stars blaze bright
I’ll see you shining in the night.
I’ll see you in my dreams alas.
Do vstrechi.
But why you and not me too?
Araka
I can’t understand
.Lehitraot,beloved.
A plus tard
Some where in this world,you fell
But no-one,not even God, can tell.
God was absent then or in some other place
He’s gone again
.They said He’s died too
,But He didn’t have a mother like you.
Do vstrechi.
My breasts ache and my heart and soul,
My breasts were made to make you whole.
To feed, give love and to console.
A plus tard
And now they ache with grief as my tears fall
.A bientot
My body trembles in the night
As dreams may bring my lost ones to my sight.
A plus
I’d walk across the roughest bleak terrain
If l I could find my loves and hold your hands again.
Do vstrechi
.The bell rings on the ancient clock
As time goes on as normal,  never stops.
Araka
I wish the hands of time could be reversed,
And I was not living with this curse.
People forget that I once had a son.
They think my grieving has been done.
Araka.But grief and loss and pain will never end
Until the curtain of my death descends
Auf wiedersehen.
Meantime I look at flowers and birds and trees
,But it’s really you my deepening insight sees.
Lehitraot.
The inscape of my heart is shown to few.
An artist of the lost would know this view.
I know I want to see just you.
Do vstrechi.
But for me there is noAuf wiedersehen
Never again will you say
What you said that day
Lehitraot,Mama.Papa
A plus tard
Tot ziens.
See you later
See you ,darling
See you soon

I am not an expert on budgeting but I’m writing this to see what ideas I could come up with when I have to be very careful as someone living on it a pension I have found when costs are rising rapidly for food and gas and electricity not to mention shoes and clothes m

It’s a good idea to remember that if you buy a lot of cheap things this will add up to to a large sum of money.

Telling yourself you don’t need to be anxious about buying things that cost less than £10,if you spent £10 every day on something you don’t need that will come to £300 in a month.

That yimoney might pay for your energy bill

I don’t want to be a killjoy especially as an older person no longer working outside of the home. But if you go out for coffee every day that could cost you £20 a week or £80 a month.

The key issue is that we need to maintain our social life we need to meet people and very often certainly for women that means meeting a friend in a coffee shop. So in my view if you could afford it then you should let yourself spend money on going out for coffee. If used to meet friends in a restaurant frequently then you will have to do some thinking.

Could you meet them for coffee instead?

Could you meet them in some country park and combined exercise with catching up?

Everybody needs one pair of good quality shoes which are waterproof

We need to keep warm and dry in the winter and if your feet are cold you I will not be happy.

Here I feel very sad about people who can’t afford even one pair of decent shoes but you can shop in outlets you can shop in places like TK maxx you can look at the websites of people who make and sell trainers. Often they have special offers that you can obtain by buying directly from them

It’s worth getting wool socks in the winter and you can shop around for those but we’ll feel so much better than with man-made fibres or cotton on the feet in winter

And when you are buying your clothing or even your socks you can get brighter colours and patterns which will cheer you and other people up. And it won’t be any more expensive than buying dull colours

Other people look at us and it’s lovely to see people wearing gorgeous colours not just grey or beige as many older people do

You may want to go to a class during the winter such as creative writing or art

Try not to to be anxious about spending money on this it is very very important to go out and to meet other people and even if you’re not very good at what you’ve chosen it’s still benefits you to do it. So do not eliminate such things from your life if if that’s at all possible

It’s more important to go to an art class than to buy a pair of shoes that you don’t need

If you look in your local newspaper or online you will also find that there are events taking place near you you are not very expensive like concerts by local choirs, plays in your local theatre

Use your money for things like this if you can. There is so much emphasis in the media on appearance but don’t spend all your money on on makeup and clothing etc

I can see nowthat unless you are well off you have to choose between different parts of life because you have to decide where it is a good idea to spend money and where it is not. Unless you are a member of the royal family or a film star your appearance does not matter it’s your expression it’s your face it’s whether you smile whether you have a sense of humour when are you are grateful for what you have and contented with your life, that is what will attract friends to you. Someone who looks like a model might not be as happy as you think when actually people might be intimidated by them.

Don’t be afraid of going to a class and being the worst person there in terms of your ability in that subject. Think about it, nobody’s terribly confident and if you go and what your drawing is not a very good it will comfort other nervous people

5

0

I have loved you and I’ve held you.

Many years,you have been mine;

If the time has come for parting

Let us embrace for one last time.

You must know you have to leave me,

Though you desired a longer stay.

Let me hold you in my arms now

For tonight and one more day.

Then I’ll watch you travel on,love.

We take this last step all alone.

I’ll be here beside you watching.

I shall feel when you are gone.

May you accept, may you surrender.

May you reach the promised land.

Into this earth my tears will fall, love,

As I recall your tender hands

I love Picasso, it’s his line,you know
How he evokes the movement fast or slow
The sundered parts arranged in a new form
The image still and yet depicting storms

The unexpecting vision threw me down
My mind was blown and I lay on the ground
I heard no sound except for music lite
For I was in a shop,not an art site

I did not think I’d see great art in there
My fences bypassed by such beauty bare
The light of art burns into human souls
May shatter or fragment, create new wholes

Noone ever knew the blow I took
When I saw with no intent to look

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/sep/04/should-i-let-my-cat-outside?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

What are the most important topics of the day in the United Kingdom is “should I let my cat go outside?’

Find out the views of guardian readers here right now

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/sep/04/readers-reply-which-laws-are-most-commonly-flouted?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-motorola-rvo3&q=10+ways+to+be+a+good+friend&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiZk_utuYr6AhWRS8AKHdldDV0Q1QJ6BAhIEAE&biw=346&bih=712&dpr=3.13

VG

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/20/smarter-living/how-to-have-closer-friendships.html

closeness needs

and attunement,”

Closeness needs attention and achievement

0 heDr. Johnson said. “When you look at somebody with your full attention, your face muscles start to mirror their facial muscles within milliseconds. If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you can miss it completely.”

This mimicry helps us

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/30/style/how-to-fight-right.html

R

While their reactions to arguments differ, both Ms. Brail and Ms. Peng “fight with love,” Ms. Peng said — that is, to choose words carefully so that “we don’t hurt each other purposely.”

Another approach to healthy conflict is the so-called Gottman Method, which is recommended by Nidhi Tewari, a clinical social worker in Richmond, Va. Based on scientific research and coined in the 1980s by the husband-wife team John and Julie Gottman, Seattle-based psychologists.

G

U
I dream at nights of my old friends
My husband and his loving hands
I dream of all the cats we had
Alfred who slept on the bed
He laid his head upon my foot
As I wrote a poem of love
Jimmy who was small and black
She bit my hand if I got up
I did not wish to wet the bed
She did not understand a word I said
The last night here she gazed at me
I think she knew she would not be
Lucky was the nervous one
Black and white , apartheid none
He liked my husband’s shoulder dear
He draped himself and lost all fear
Now the cats have all gone off
I am frightened by a cough
My husband comes to me at night
Fortunately he cannot bite
He touches me with tenderness
Smiles and wished me,God Bless.
When I waken I feel lost
So I have to wear a watch
I seem to have no solid self
I feel nervous of an elf
I don’t mind an angel sweet
He could rub my aching feet
I will have no other man
They are frightened of women
They don’t like to lose at Chess
They don’t like to wash my dress
They will brush my winter coat
Never ask me what I wrote
I do not wish to anger men
They might shout and bawl again
I think maybe I will turn gay
Ask a lady, what to say?
They may not understand my needs
Killing flowers to help the weeds
Talking all the weary night
On the whole they’re parasites
Also they may menstruate
I can’t give them seeds to take
So they will leave and get a man
This is where it all began
Eve and Adam,God and man
Cain and Abel, apple flan
Noah and his Ark so fine
I wish I had one in the rain
I wonder when the world will end?
I am old so be my friendLOVE
I dream at nights of my old friends
My husband and his loving hands
I dream of all the cats we had
Alfred who slept on the bed
He laid his head upon my foot
As I wrote a poem of love
Jimmy who was small and black
She bit my hand if I got up
I did not wish to wet the bed
She did not understand a word I said
The last night here she gazed at me
I think she knew she would not be
Lucky was the nervous one
Black and white , apartheid none
He liked my husband’s shoulder dear
He draped himself and lost all fear
Now the cats have all gone off
I am frightened by a cough
My husband comes to me at night
Fortunately he cannot bite
He touches me with tenderness
Smiles and wished me,God Bless.
When I waken I feel lost
So I have to wear a watch
I seem to have no solid self
I feel nervous of an elf
I don’t mind an angel sweet
He could rub my aching feet
I will have no other man
They are frightened of women
They don’t like to lose at Chess
They don’t like to wash my dress
They will brush my winter coat
Never ask me what I wrote
I do not wish to anger men
They might shout and bawl again
I think maybe I will turn gay
Ask a lady, what to say?
They may not understand my needs
Killing flowers to help the weeds
Talking all the weary night
On the whole they’re parasites
Also they may menstruate
I can’t give them seeds to take
So they will leave and get a man
This is where it all began
Eve and Adam,God and man
Cain and Abel, apple flan
Noah and his Ark so fine
I wish I had one in the rain
I wonder when the world will end?
I am old so be my friend

Hennetwistle has a railway stop
The name is Viking now it’s usually spelled
Entwistle, where reservoirs fill up
Manchester wants water, here it’s held

Too Thirlmere is an artificial lake
For tea in Manchester, those thirsty folk
How much more d’ye think that they will take?
Hamlets drowned, dull cypress trees that cloak

I once passed through Darwen on a train
On the way to Ilkley with my aunt
No memory of bliss with me remains
Except the flowers so wild, their ghosts still haunt

Yet nowhere else gives me the feel of home
This landscape is my body and my soul

Though you and I have loved for many years

Thought you and I have talked and exchange gifts

Whose is the face that haunts me in the night?

Whose memory is torn with cloven rifts?

When sun shines bright and I am full of love

When we walk through the hills blue as in dreams

Whose is the face forever in my sight?

Whose is the mind in which these memories scheme/

For human beings know not our own depths

And follow fancies as do butterflies

Our heart and soul committed are to love

And with love lost we weep and give loud sighs.

For others are deceived but not ourselves

And into that lost darkness we must delve

Humankind lingers unregenerately in Plato’s cave, still reveling, its age-old habit, in mere images of the truth. But being educated by photographs is not monitoredlike being educated by older, more artisanal images. For one thing, there are a great many more images around, claiming our attention. The inventory started in 1839 and since then just about everything has been photographed, or so it seems. This very insatiability of the photographing eye changes the terms of confinement in the cave, our world. In teaching us a new visual code, photographs alter and enlarge our notions of what is worth looking at and what we have a right to observe. They are a grammar and, even more importantly, an ethics of seeing. Finally, the most grandiose result of the photographic enterprise is to give us the sense that we can hold the whole world in our heads — as an anthology of images.

Aesthetic Consumerism and the Violence of Photography: What Susan Sontag Teaches Us about Visual Culture and the Social Web

Watching Plato shining torches into blackness,
Wandering through the galleries,
Sepia paintings of pines,
Pain came to the emptiness once my heart,
I sat picturing screaming Popes and babies.
Eastward, looking for fresh instruction,
My mind unpleated,like a pair of curtains
~Hung out to dry in equinoxal gales.
The bells of Satan’s cell phone
Rang again,startling in this silence.
“You had your smear done yet?”
“It’s me,hinny”
“I’m drinking coffee here in “Costa’s.”
Then I awoke,a man appeared.
How apposite,I need you,Ludwig!
I can’t fly my kite.

In the Science Museum,the mirror cracked
And from it stars flew out,
Adorning cars and bicycles and buses.
The building gently fell into its own reflection.
People flew out like gasping rockets,
Illuminating the blankness,
Calling “Is today the day?.”

https://bostonreview.net/forum/barbara-fried-beyond-blame-moral-responsibility-philosophy-law/

A howling bone dithers none the less.
What can’t be lured must be indifferent
It’s a song way to Tipperary.
Silent Plight,Holy Quite.
Have you  ever seen above my ploys?
Too many rooks rolled  up the bypass to caw.
See amid the sinners flow here on  earth we sing,oh,no.
I don’t know where I’ve seen you adore.
Send me a  twitter soon and I’ll be on board  sound.
Come into these belly sands.
This is the end of the code.
I shan’t slope on.
Go

I say to myself,what a blunder filled world.
Silent bite,holy spite.
It’s the wrong way to Tipperary.
Back up your troubles. in your old knit bag with our new app.
There’ll be blue words over the white stiffs of Dover.
This is the war that blend all wars and then adds more.
When they bombed Neasden,it was the wrong way to go
Friendly liars killed troops on board a warship.
Sing something dimpled
I like lieder,he likes lieder,yay yah yoh,yoah,more.
Singalong for the truce to come

I’m a number,Jack,I sneer all day.
We wronged thee,see the woe.
Oh.little town of Bethlehem divided by the Wall
Jesus wants me for a fruitcake.
It’s wrong to see thee so
It’s numb,all ye faithful.
I tested till declase,day class dateclass

We used this word  I spelled declase when I was a child… it means tired,overworked,mind can’t continue… anyone heard that before?I have never heard others use it,only my family

You smiled at me and then you disappeared

Flying skyward with no hint of fear

Stunned and left behind,I wept with shock

Deprived by death of one last lingering look

No kiss, no word of love,no last embrace

No colour and no pinkness in your face

I saw you fly as fast as hawks at prey

I held you in my heart ,I felt dismay

How could you leave me when I need you so

Could you not remain till I to go?

Death is sad,mysterious,unknow

Once lovers all complete and now alone

Silently at last we take the pain

We’re burnt by love and loss, that dual frame

https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-3034358392230435&output=html&h=288&slotname=3934225189&adk=3214291132&adf=1403198732&pi=t.ma~as.3934225189&w=346&lmt=1662715541&rafmt=1&psa=1&format=346×288&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.poetrysoup.com%2Fpoem%2Fhow_could_you_leave_me_1266976&fwr=1&rpe=1&resp_fmts=3&sfro=1&wgl=1&adsid=ChAI8MjrmAYQmp-OqK7jsoNGEj0AprW9fhNHCHr17QHUmnIWBFGu1WWZmSlS9nJWnGnP62p9LXnFBtVgPG9q7JWlz-KFCWY_sP4yOhvTUD0d&uach=WyJBbmRyb2lkIiwiMTEuMC4wIiwiIiwibW90byBnMzEodykiLCIxMDUuMC41MTk1Ljc5IixbXSx0cnVlLG51bGwsIiIsW1siR29vZ2xlIENocm9tZSIsIjEwNS4wLjUxOTUuNzkiXSxbIk5vdClBO0JyYW5kIiwiOC4wLjAuMCJdLFsiQ2hyb21pdW0iLCIxMDUuMC41MTk1Ljc5Il1dLGZhbHNlXQ..&dt=1662715541147&bpp=23&bdt=777&idt=23&shv=r20220907&mjsv=m202209010201&ptt=9&saldr=aa&abxe=1&cookie=ID%3D7b0a906bc1f5fe59-22f943de0ad400a3%3AT%3D1655916886%3ART%3D1655916886%3AS%3DALNI_MZx8BomHVLE38Dt7p07_PZssSjkjw&prev_fmts=0x0%2C346x288&nras=1&correlator=8639300986738&frm=20&pv=1&ga_vid=741624852.1655916858&ga_sid=1662715541&ga_hid=1523744011&ga_fc=1&u_tz=60&u_his=1&u_h=768&u_w=346&u_ah=768&u_aw=346&u_cd=24&u_sd=3.125&dmc=4&adx=0&ady=1640&biw=346&bih=608&scr_x=0&scr_y=0&eid=44759876%2C44759927%2C44759842&oid=2&pvsid=1279522195505141&tmod=1469580139&uas=0&nvt=1&ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.poetrysoup.com%2Fmember_area%2Fmy_poems.aspx&eae=0&fc=1920&brdim=0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C346%2C0%2C346%2C608%2C346%2C608&vis=1&rsz=%7C%7CoeEbr%7C&abl=CS&pfx=0&fu=128&bc=31&ifi=3&uci=a!3&btvi=1&fsb=1&xpc=xxrUMpwr9y&p=https%3A//www.poetrysoup.com&dtd=39

https://www.heysigmund.com/toxic-people/

How hard for you to learn you cannot stay

No longer with your grandchild can you play.

The future you imagined cannot be.

My eyes are blind with tears I cannot see.

You who’ve been my sister for so long

No longer in this world will you belong.

I did not think that you would go so soon

You to whom my soul is well attuned

Sometimes lost things can be bought again

This is how we guard ourselves from pain.

However rich we are we cannot pay

To get another sister any way.

We lose our keys, we lose our little hearts

Money beauty, health just for a start.

You will not look at me you have to go

You put your coat on, stride into the snow

Katherinereflections, Thinkings and poems  March 24, 2016 4 Minutes

The most obvious confusion between metaphor and reality is when society labels emotional/interpersonal problems/divergence from norms of society as mental illnesses.I
n the USA childdhood disobedience is now a mental illness and there are many similar crazy notions.Homosexuality was labelled as a mental illness for years but no longer.
Now if you are suffering terrible anguish in various forms it may help to be told it is an illness… or it may make you worse.I am sure that often excess fatigue,personal characteristics like overworking constantly,not eating well,being distressed by the state of the world are very common but there are no blood tests nor any other tests to identify such as being illnesses.Though often physical illnesses casuse mental distress and depression either directly or because of shame and anxiety and other reactions to being ill for a long time.
The writer Thomas Szasz identified this confusion many years ago.If you disagree and say how can medication help unless a person is ill then I’d say that the placebo effect is one reason and another is that if someone is exhausted and needs to rest then medication maybe helpful to give them a little peace.
Gerard Manley Hopkins,A Jesuit priest and a poet seemed to be given a job in an Irish University which was exhausting and debilitating but owing to his vow of obedience to his superiors in the Jesuit Order he could not change his life except by dying… so he thought.
The poet Gwyneth Lewis who has been the National Poet for wales wrote a book[Sunbathing in the rain] about her severe bout of depression.In the book she seems to be claiming that there were personal mistakes and decisions in her lifestyle and job which led her into depression.She saw it as necessary for change.However she did use medication in spite of feeling it was a spiritual turning poimt which she needed to get back onto her true path or vocation in life.
Her mother had been depressed frequently when she was a child and so she would have learned this as a way of problem solving.
Also despite her immense intelligence she had failed to realise that abandoning her strong hopes to have a child [given the age of her husband and the need to earn a living] was going to cause her huge distress.In fact marrying someone who has been sterilised seems unusual for a young woman who wants children.But it is sometimes reversible and maybe she didn’t think so far ahead.
This blindness to our own feelings seems to lead many of us astray.
We sometimes get clues to our hidden feelings in dreams or we could find someone to talk to when going through a major life decision.
Some people don’t know that grief and mourning exist and are stunned when they feel sad and often their families criticise them for “not coping well” Coping here seems to mean remaining happy and calm all the time;this is a selfish demand on a bereaved person or anyone really.
I also noticed over the years that many famous people suffered from depression but when you examine their lives they seem to demand too much from themselves and be afraid to ask for help
.Poor Sylvia Plath wanted to be famous which she is now but alas she is dead. It’s hard to know why she felt the need to work so hard except her upbringing was one where acadenic excellence was valued and why she married someone with no obvious way of providing support either financial or emotional… when it got tough he ran off… but who knows why? The point that interests me is that she was compulsively driven to achieve… and she did so much in her short life… but was it worth it?
We all need to examine our life to see if we are acting stupidly.
But when worn out mentally it seems thinking is a mistake whereas simple manual work is beneficial as is being outdoors or being with kind undemanding friends…. and if a person has few friends coping with emotional trauma is much harder.This affects people who move to another state or country.And older people moving house even can bring on mental confusion.
And if we are people who find friendship and intimacy hard then it’s likely that we will suffer more from any problem we run into.
Finally,is the idea of a vocation for each of us of value?We each have unique gifts plus a need to earn a living.It depends on many factors outside our control whether we can find a job that combines these.Many poets and writers work in menial jobs to earn a living and then they write at night.[Teaching seems to sap creative energy.]
Other people don’t feel they have a calling but train for something they feel will earn a living in a way that suits them.Electricians and plumbers are in great demand…
And apart from finding our own true needs we need to contribute to society in some way.And to have a feeling of enjoying being alive which is perhaps denied those millions in Asia who make our clothes,i phones and other goods.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/07/well/mind/mindfulness-practice-doomscrolling.html

Following nonstop news in an era of gun violence, war and political divide can become overwhelming. And amid our many ongoing challenges — the pandemic, climate change, economic uncertainty — it’s understandable to feel sad, angry and anxious.

As a clinical psychologist who specializes in giving people the tools to cope with intense emotions, I know how difficult it can be to remain positive — or simply balanced — while caring deeply about our world. Some of my clients say they can’t stop doomscrolling, others engage in unhealthy behaviors to tune it out and many bounce between the two extremes.

But it is possible to anchor yourself if it feels as though you’re slipping into despair about the state of the world. I rely on these seven mindfulness-based strategies for myself and my clients to stay grounded.

1. Label your feelings.

If you can precisely label the emotion you’re experiencing in the moment, you can reduce its power in your body and brain. Name whatever emotion you are feeling, whether it is sadness, fear, anger, disgust

Strange that sunshine glowing on the snow
Made me feel like summer was just here
And meadows of wild flowers would appear~
If only I knew which way I should go.
Happy with  increasing daylight hours,
Memories of hills and small wild flowers

Energy  sends loneliness away
As birds take shelter in the holly tree
The snow is falling with a touch of glee
Teasing  all the forecasters with play
Brighter in my heart and in my mind
The inner and the outer unconfined.

With our vision we create  our myth
Must we live in torment or in  bliss?

https://youranxietytherapist.com/3-mistakes-that-increase-fears-and-anxiety/

Shall we no longer sing

No longest smile

Because one day we’ll die

For we’re fragile?

Shall we no longer run

Beside the sea?

Shall we no longer kiss

Beneath the trees?

While still we live

Let’s loving be

Let’s not protect a heart

With metal walls

For we must feel

And learn it all

The wedding feast is here

Oh look and see

The Union of allies

Come let’s agree

The pain is always there

But there is more

Children playing out

on the sea shore

Little faces

Little Hands

Little waves

Joyous sounds

The sun will rise again

The day will flee

Joy and woe are

Always free

A cup of roses

Cup of grace

Wait in the void

For love to tasre

https://www.google.com/search?q=is+defensiveness+a+sign+of+mental+illness&client=ms-android-motorola-rvo3&ei=vb0ZY8DFN92J9u8P6vqWoAQ&oq=defensiveness+and+paranoia&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEBJKBAhBGABQAFgAYABoAHABeACAAQCIAQCSAQCYAQCgAQY&gs_ivs=1&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#tts=0

Here are several steps that can help you become more emotionally intelligent when dealing with defensive people:

1. Refrain from reacting defensively. …
2. Shift your focus to the other person. …
3. Ask questions until you understand them. …
4. Move toward a resolution.

2 Nov 2018https://www.bizjournals.com › how-to

4 ways to communicate better with defensive people

More

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/insight-is-2020/202109/why-some-people-can-get-so-defensive

Getting defensive can take many different forms, including verbal attacks, denial (denying what has been said), fabrication (outright lying), avoidance (not allowing any discussion on the matter), gaslighting (e.g., calling the other person “crazy” or suggesting something is wrong with the other person) and others.

At their root, all defensive behaviors have this in common: sending a message to the other person that what the person is saying is wrong or a problem. What’s more, the message is that the person is “out of line” (authoritarian punishment language) for addressing them or attempting to hold them accountable for something in the first place. The takeaway message is that such confrontation — as fair or appropriate as it may be — is unacceptable and will not be allowed.

A brief personality profile of the individual who gets easily defensive

Defensive individuals often have control and power issues, and perceive anyone confronting them or holding them accountable