Love is waiting in the dark

Shall we no longer sing

No longest smile

Because one day we’ll die

For we’re fragile?

Shall we no longer run

Beside the sea?

Shall we no longer kiss

Beneath the trees?

While still we live

Let’s loving be

Let’s not protect a heart

With metal walls

For we must feel

And learn it all

The wedding feast is here

Oh look and see

The Union of allies

Come let’s agree

The pain is always there

But there is more

Children playing out

on the sea shore

Little faces

Little Hands

Little waves

Joyous sounds

The sun will rise again

The day will flee

Joy and woe are

Always free

A cup of roses

Cup of grace

Wait in the void

For love to tasre

Am I defensive?

Here are several steps that can help you become more emotionally intelligent when dealing with defensive people:

  1. Refrain from reacting defensively. …
  2. Shift your focus to the other person. …
  3. Ask questions until you understand them. …
  4. Move toward a resolution.

2 Nov 2018 › how-to

4 ways to communicate better with defensive people


Why Some People Can Get So Defensive | Psychology Today United Kingdom

Getting defensive can take many different forms, including verbal attacks, denial (denying what has been said), fabrication (outright lying), avoidance (not allowing any discussion on the matter), gaslighting (e.g., calling the other person “crazy” or suggesting something is wrong with the other person) and others.

At their root, all defensive behaviors have this in common: sending a message to the other person that what the person is saying is wrong or a problem. What’s more, the message is that the person is “out of line” (authoritarian punishment language) for addressing them or attempting to hold them accountable for something in the first place. The takeaway message is that such confrontation — as fair or appropriate as it may be — is unacceptable and will not be allowed.

A brief personality profile of the individual who gets easily defensive

Defensive individuals often have control and power issues, and perceive anyone confronting them or holding them accountable

12 Ways To Support A Friend Going Through A Difficult Time

If you’re trying to give advice and coming up empty, that’s actually OK. “When someone we love is going through pain and sorrow, we feel pressure to have to say something, to come up with a way to make them feel better,” Habash says. But often it’s best to just listen and let them express themselves.

“They need to know that you can tolerate being with them in their pain, and that someone understands what they’re going through,” Habash says.

Sea Green

My sister’s eyes are sea green and deep
Like pools in the Irish sea off the coast off Anglesey.
Moelfre where she swam ,despite the cold,
Like a small seal.
Night times I told her stories,
She lay and dreamed them till schooltime
But we grew beyond my storytelling
When adolescence broke us apart.
Years later
As I sat with her child
At my knee,
Weaving stories for her
Around the Russian horse
From the antique shop in Aldeburgh,
I saw my sister leaning towards us,
Her green eyes full of long-lost yearning.
I realised she was still my loving little sister,
From long, so long ago, her green eyes,
In the deep caves of her inner sea ,filled with longing.
I felt she wanted to get backInto the magic circleO
f the arms of the mother we
No longer had to hold us.
So, I took her inside my open heart instead

I’m a psychologist – and I believe we’ve been told devastating lies about mental health

Ulf a plant were wilting we will not drive nurse it worse “wilting-plant-syndrome” – we would change its conditions. Yet when humans are suffering under unliveable conditions, we’re told something is wrong with us, and expected to keep pushing through. To keep working and producing, without acknowledging our hurt.

In efforts to destigmatise mental distress, “mental illness” is framed as an “illness like any other” – rooted in supposedly flawed brain chemistry. In reality, recent research concluded that depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance of the brain. Ironically, suggesting we have a broken brain for life increases stigma and disempowerment

It is here that we fail marginalised people the most: Black people’s understandable expressions of hurt at living in a structurally racist society are too often medicalised, labelled dangerous and met with violence under the guise of “care”. Black people are more likely to be Taseredsectioned, restrained and over-medicated than anyone else in our mental health services today.

InThe UK could learn a lot from liberation psychology. Founded in the 1980s by the Salvadorian activist and psychologist Ignacio Martín Baró, it argues that we cannot isolate “mental health problems” from our broader societal structures. Suffering

Keep the baby

I haven’t got the energy for grief.

The bag of tears cracked, now it’s overdry

Is a conversation a relief?

Or is it better just to sit as a sigh?

If only all my bones would turn to dust

And I could join the compost on the heap.

Or would the cruel jackals feel disgust?

I might as well expect the slow worm leap.

Take away my heart for it is pained

I can live without it if I choose

But do not live on me with your disdain

One day you might walk in these my shoes

For what is self reflects the other’s soul.

Grief and sadness, love, may make us whole

The pathway to love

Trees by Katherine

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.