Ah,brother I don’t want you to lie still
No blood to circulate,no thoughts,no will
No help,no humour.jokes no
sharp true eye
From our old shared pram,to live, to die.
I used to do your homework
late at night
Abstract thought to you was no delight.
You wondered over X and y and z
Preferred the shapes of Nature in your. head.
I shall retain the memories of the good
You who taught me speech and hate and love
Emotions flow like music in the mind
A humming deep within the very self
Even in our sleep the patterns wind
Transformed to opera,images and health
The hum of children’s voices is benign
Two and two are four, oh Alice knows
Who has made thes minds so well designed?
Who has suffered well the pain, the blow?
Cut out the music, worship reason pure
Kant the human suffered it in shock
And in his way he wandered as a cure
Konigsburg with bridges was well stocked
Freed up in our humming, glad to hear
The music of the heart, the dark, the spheres
We are swimming in deep water,deep and green
I am coming towards you with my fingers stretched
Our bodies pale as fish, our soft hair streams
The deep sea has no sun, yet we can see
The retina is waiting, ready,etched
We are swimming in deep water,deep and green
I see your face and eyes,how well they gleam
Do we have to undergo a test?
Our bodies pale as fish, our soft hair streams
Underneath the ocean are strange scenes
I will tell you later, we are blessed
We are swimming in sea water,deep and green
Our fingers meet, our lips share silver sheen
We float in circles, weightless is our flesh
Our bodies pale as fish, our soft hair streams
What will happen, what shall we do next
Inspiration,grace, we are perplexed
We are floating in deep water,deep and green
Our bodies pale as fish, our soft hair streams
The end of values, kindness, earned respect
The loss of wisdom,history and truth
The pillars of democracy are cracked.
The centre of the heart,who can protect?
Conspiracy and madness unseat proof
An end of values, kindness, earned respect
Violence is admired though lives are wrecked
The lasting triumph of the folk uncouth
The pillars of the Western Mind have cracked
Their minds unfurnished seem bereft of tact
They tread on others words like horses’ hooves
The end of values, kindness, earned respect
How can such opponents make a pact?
The calculating crucify our youth
The pillars of the Western Mind have cracked
Yet Western Empire builders had no ruth
They tortured those they conquered group by group
On such ground just madmen earn respect
The altars of the Western Mind have cracked
The fallen sun makes black the trees that lean
Its liquid centre thrown up wild and bright
Enigmatic like a midday dream
The pinky edges shift in sun’s bent beams
Do they convey the aura of the light?
The fallen sun makes black the trees that lean
I wonder where my haunted eyes have been
In the forests deeper than the night
Enigmatic like a midday dream
Schizoid, lacking affect, a slit scream
Destroying what is left of love and sight
The fallen sun makes black the trees that lean
Here we saw wild primrose by the stream
The castle of the Tudors soft in blight
Enigmatic like a midday dream
Bewildered people kill their own insight
Toss their fears , into the weak to bite
The failing sun as pure as boiling screams
Enigmatic are our midnight dreams
This isolation is not good for me
Unless there is a God,how could it be?
The viruses are not like friends who talk
Yet they can come with you on a walk
Invisible to naked human eyes
Viruses are now akin to spies
Who is watching me as I write this?
I’ve now forgotten who Paul Dirac was
Should I block the camera with white tape?
It might bring me some pleasure,ah, too late
Is it wrong for women to read books
New ideas might make us into freaks
Yesterday was warm but now it snows
I’ve got itchy spots and feel morose
Should I buy merino knickers now?
Should I breed some sheep or just a cow?
Why algebra exists is really queer
If you spot it then you are a seer.
Rings and groups and donuts are germane
Topology has driven me insane
What is small yet makes the gradient clear?
Calculus is like an atmosphere
Did you say Eureka in the bath?
It means you’ve met yourself without the glass
The microphone is faulty I proclaim
Perhaps I’m going deaf, we’re all insane
The phone is complex, perfect and effete
I cannot hear the voices when they speak
I got up in the night and wet my pants
That’s my husband’s ghost, the miscreant!
I had to wash pyjamas every day
4 pairs are enough if you are gay
I was walking in a desert grey and bleak
All alone, with none to speak or eat
I shuddered when I realised the truth
I was unmarried, pregnant, mere refuse.
Cast out for other failings all unknown
My baby came too soon and I alone
A doctor with no face appeared and said
Your baby died ,I see he’s never fed
He flung my baby on his heap of dead
I lay there in the dirt, red with my blood
I had to leave or I would die of grief
The will to live just stronger than a leaf
I went to see my baby, and he smiled
He was still alive, my love,my child
I took him in my arms, where should we go?
I walked into that darkness full and slow
If you came back you would not understand
The death of virtue ,truth and beauty too
And to advertise it,tell lies on demand
In my childhood, that bewitching land
Respect brought out good character to view
If you came you could not understand
Writing with a stick upon the sands
Up the tide will rush and wash out truth
So ,to advertise it,tell lies on demand
Evil,slick , obedient Eichmann stands
No human is as mighty as the noose
Coming back you would not understand
We can split an atom, yet be bland
Drop another bomb on human youth
To hide our sin we tell lies on demand
Once we worshipped Pan with horns and hoof
Now we worship Satan,God’s own proof
f you came back you would not understand
Media will tell lies and make demands
I
I dreamed of you last night, you wore a smile
Fifty years ago you took your life
And left me for the agony, the trial
Since then I’ve had no vision but denial
Your face was absent,cut out by a knife
I dreamed of you last night, your little smile
There was no motive, we had never quarreled
I was blinded, nervous and too shy
You left to me the agony, the trial
Who consoles the woman left in horror?
Sickly on my lonely bed I lay
I dreamed of you last night, you wore a smile
In my view, I could not see tomorrow
Through my suffering I did try to pay
You left to me the agony, the trial
The grief of fifty years came out today
Oh, lay down, baby, lay down, baby, lay
I dreamed that you were here, your face. your smile
You console me now poor lovers reconciled
Aldeburgh,Sizewell,Dunwich Heath
The nuclear bomb shall bring eternal peace
Housed between the town and the Reserve
Its blackness is ignored by little birds
If force deters, then we shall all be saved
Or this our world will vanish without trace
Innocently playing on the shore
Children find old marble unrestored
Birds may sense the blackness of our hearts
For, even though unused, the bombs take part
They are here where Britten once composed
And so the sanctuary ends unsaved,destroyed
In between the lover and his rose
A screen electric in the silence glows
Before the referendum
Before I rang 999
When I didn’t know how near the end you were
Before Nigel Farage
Jo Cox
The lies of Michael Gove
Before Boris Johnson’s genes left Turkey
Before Leonard Cohen sang,save the last waltz for me
Before I heard Suzanne
Before you haemmoraged the bathroom into wine
Before you consecrated the bread
Before you were dead
Before by a journalist we were led
Before children said,fuck everything
Before Cohen died
Dylan got the Nobel Prize
Before aspirations were merely for another shag and a new denim hat
Before marriage was for licking each others’ groins
What poems fell dead
And the snow fled
Before the hatred of slow reading came and glued itself to our minds
Then we had the hottest September
In December
And the ice cap floated down the globe
Observed by toads
When you were still alive
And the lawn was unmowed
Do not rush about when under stress
You may fall and bang your tender head
With agitation caused by business
Rather than do more, we must do less
Do it slowly till it’s time for bed
Do not rush about when under stress
Do not ruminate nor second guess
Grace is blocked,imagination led
By agitation caused by business
Slowness leads some space, so slowness bless
In tune with nature, not the words we read
Do not rush about when under stress
If you are a hare,keep from excess
If a tortoise,you’ll end up ahead
No agitation caused by business
The lilies of the field by grace are fed
And so our hearts are when our burden’s shed
Do not rush about when under stress
With agitation causing grief to living flash
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times in a very real sense.
Mary dreamed Stan was in heaven enjoying the company of Wittgenstein,Jesus and Pascal , not to mention Lady Jane Grey Ann of Cleves,Juliet,Cleopatra and an angel.
At least at this point in time he can’t sleep with them ,she thought as she woke up.Though did that matter? Can men be faithful and monogamous?
Look at Leonard Cohen.Was he better off flitting from flower to flower? Was he so stunning that women threw themselves at him and he could not resist?Sometimes people are actually afraid of intimacy or feel life is short and want some new experiences.Was he a wolf? It t akes one to know one
It was indeed almost the worst of times when Mary remembered she had no food in the house except cat food for Emile.He was all she had now as her daughter Lyra lived in Australia and Stan was in heaven, she hoped.
Here I am, she thought, pondering unanswerable questions and not looking after myself .It is probably best to err on the side of buying food and going out rather than lying in the bed wondering if life has any inherent meaning. or if we must create our own.
Even discussing that with someone else would be better.But men folk don’t want to discuss serious topics with their lovers.
It was an even worse time when she recalled a man who once loved her leaving her because she asked him if he knew what post-modernism was one night after going to the cinema to see a comedy.She realised then that she would have to play a part,To act like a woman.So far it was but moderately successful owing to her myopic view of life
If only I had kept quiet, she told herself,I could be lying beside him now enjoying a few kisses and hugs and asking him how to light the electric fire.Still ,there’s many a slip twixt cup and lip
Now then, said a loud voice.Stop ruminating and get up. One stitch in time saves nine.
Who are you to say that to me, she called nervously ?
She wondered of stress had driven her round the bend.She had begun reading a book which said mental illness in not an illness like flu.
It is a reaction to bad events and other life strains.
It doesn’t matter who I am,just do as I say, came the answer
Mary recognised the voice.It was her dad who had died when she was 9.
Dad, she called, why are you here now?
Because Jesus told us to love our family, he revealed pleasantly.
Why now after all these years? she persisted.
I have missed you.
I always did have a bad sense of direction,he told her.But do as I say.You won’t recover easily if you never get up.Stan is here but he is busy cleaning the gold cutlery for an angel.
Alright, but I never knew there was cutlery up there, she murmured as she put on her new clothes.She had bought some purple trousers and two new jumpers.One was pink and one was teal.The trousers were exceptionally comfortable being in a last years’ sale by a famous label..She then found some Weetabix in the cupboard and some long life milk.As she drank her tea she admired the acer’s brilliant red leaves.
Almost too bright, she thought.It’s due to the hot September.Plants are affected by their environment and so are we.Especially by bad or hot tempered men and women
Poor people may have more than in the past but they tend to live in the ugliest areas of the town with no gardens nor parks.
And seeing the better off walk by wearing expensive clothes it is surprising there are not even more muggings.
She recalled seeing a man with a Rolex watch and gold earrings on talking on his new iPhone as he wandered through the Mall.I suppose we think everybody else is like us; we don’t mix with very poor or very rich people on the whole.Unless we are one of those two types.
Mary went outside and found a neighbour wheeling in her bins.
Thanks ,Tom, she cried.I wondered who it was.I am very grateful.What is post modernism,by the way?Nobody will tell me.
Emile was watching from the window sill.
I knew it was Tom, he mewed.
But you didn’t tell me,Mary replied.
You didn’t ask.
Tom wandered off ,while Mary admired the autumn trees lining the road.Tom turned back and looked at her but she didn’t notice.
Time for coffee, she muttered and went inside again.She was embroidering a table mat which said “Rumination is for the birds”.Where it had come from was a puzzle.But it may be a good thought
And so say all of us
He thought I was an enemy , he said
The eyes see what we fear or what we need
I gave him love,but hate grew there instead
If you need to hate, try someone dead
Do not say cruel words that make us bleed
He thought I was an enemy , he said
Do not dwell where people hate the good
If they curse, it’s best to pay no heed
I gave him love,but hate welled up instead
Emotions mingle, wanton like fresh blood
Let them be till form can be perceived
He thought I was his enemy , he said
Do not confront the paranoid nor mad
The agony of their minds has them deceived
We give them love,but hate wells up instead
Never take such people into bed
Let them run away, they’ll be relieved.
He mistook me for an enemy , he said
I gave him love and care now I feel bad
Why should we do evil if we care
Care about the world and humankind?
What is evil, what is good, what’s fair?
To feel we’re God, implacable our stare
Igniting terror in a human mind
Why should we do that if we do care?
Some do evil deeds to show they dare,
Making their own heart a place malign
What is evil, what is good, what’s fair?
The truly strong are anxious and aware
Letting their love flow in reason’s time
Why should we do that if we don’t care?
The good are like the tortoise not the hare
Slowly with perception ,impulse reined,
Acquainted with the evil ,good prefer
The true mind is the one refined by pain
Seeking no revenge,but to so learn
Why should we do evil if we care?
There is evil, is it de rigeur?
Astounded by love’s impact, my tears fell
As if a door was opened up by you
The reservoir of grief, the flooded bell,
The marble on the shore, the hidden view.
I stayed still and by you I was held
In your golden cloud, I felt embraced
You covered me with warmth,I was your child
A candle in the gale,a shining face
I was silent,I was even dumb
They who see a face can not unknow
Love is not a method nor a sum
Nor can logic point the way to go
Do not ask for knowledge or belief
Do not ask reprieve from human grief
Oh,mother dear wherever have you been
To leave a cat all day is very mean
Emile,I need my freedom now and then
I can’t love Dave but I would like a man
I must go out to buy a handsome coat
Cognac is the colour I love most
Emile cried, whatever do you think
I saw some frogs a-courting in the sink
I was on the draining rack up there
They asked me to avert my amber stare
Are frogs faithful, don’t they just leave spawn?
They are cold towards tadpoles unborn
We saw them by Moss Bank in shallow pools
Mary wonders if all frogs are cruel
Stan came in with his angels right behind
They are tired of heaven, they’ve resigned
Here’s a pin upon which they can dance
Mary was delighted and entranced
Do you need a dinner now you’ve died?
I wouldn’t mind a steak, the old man sighed
Some buttered new potatoes and a fool
Rhubarb or vanilla would be cool
I have done no shopping, Mary cried
I have no money for the food you like
Shall I get a pizza, fish and chips
That will put some colour in your lips
I am only joking, Stanley said
I shall merely visit you in bed
Emile wept with joy to see his Dad
What a spirit, is he going mad?
In came Annie in her long green coat
Her eyes were black and scratched was her throat
I fell into the Croal when eating chips
See the bruises on my purple lips
Never walk on water,Mary screeched
Even when you cross all Southport Beach
Stay away from danger,I’ll ring Dave
He will dress your bruises with his gauze
Annie did not tell them all the truth
She had fallen off the sloping roof
Trees lean over,watchful as we meet
The tall ones do not shiver in the breeze
Trees can hear the torment in our speech
We have flowering cherry in our street
But mine died like my lover with great ease
Trees lean over listening as we meet
The tree won’t bend too close, it will not reach
As panic,worry, horror,nightmares squeeze
Trees discern the music in our squeaks
Alas, no tree has mastered human speech
But when they can, they coax the honey bees
Trees lean over sweetly as we meet
The leaves will rustle,wrestle and may tease
Smile for selfies,what’s the word, it’s cheese
Trees lean over, wonder, and conceive
Yet trees hate noone, nor do they believe
Defend yourself with fences and high walls
Then cringe in fear from what you cannot see
Imagined there are monsters which appall
Pain has purpose, for attention calls
With more defence,less possibility
If we defend ourselves with iron walls
We may have windows but they are quite small
Closed or partly open,which to be?
Imagined are most monsters that appall
Our reflections flash in mirrored hall~
And on the ghastly surface of dark sea
That we can’t defend with any walls
Are we sinners, was there any Fall?
Can we give the stranger Charity?
Are we ourselves the monsters that appall?
From the world of kindness do not flee
Take more risks, though slighted you may be
Defend yourself with fences and high walls
Then you’ll get your Fuhrer, mobs ,Hell, Heil
