In the local park

By the flowerbed Dad and I would talk

In 1952 he still could walk

We spent the afternoon in Willows Park

At least there were some sparrows if not larks.

He wore a jacket made of thinning tweed

He felt cold in summer hence the need

He smoked cheap cigarettes I love their smell

Though they killed you Daddy I know well.

I did not understand that God was frail

I prayed for you but all to no avail.

The Jews in Auschwitz must have prayed at first

Then singing Kaddish stumbled to their deaths

God cannot be judged though humans can

Each Jew was a real person like I am

Wounded by Katherine

Every living person is another world

In its Imagination Europe failed

But could Daddy have been saved for ten more years?

Does even the best neighbour really care?

Few will help us mourn the ones we lost

Their feeble hearts just cannot bear the cost

Am I a saint myself for I am frail

Hiding from the lightning and the hail

O cruel sun

The sun appeared but now has left us here

With dull grey sky and trees as cruel as spears

We control our homes as best we can

But. Nature is a Force more strong than Man

Even in our bodies we feel pain

Thus evil is around us like a stain

Why does God all powerful not step in?

When children die,when wars begin again?

When every state has weapons for mass kills

Jesus dies with victims of our Will

We allowed the government our tax

So our evil to the worst is matched

O cruel sun

The sun appeared but now has left us here

With dull grey sky and trees as cruel as spears

We control our homes as best we can

But. Nature is a Force more strong than Man

Even in our bodies we feel pain

Thus evil is around us like a stain

Why does God all powerful not step in?

When children die,when wars begin again?

When every state has weapons for mass kills

Jesus dies with victims of our Will

We allowed the government our tax

So our evil to the worst is matched

Musings at dawn

The purple mauve of morning fades away

The sky is soft pale blue,the sun is high

My light reflected in the melting dark

Looked like sunshine soft yet strangely stark

Then the light went out and I felt dim.

I cannot see but that is not a sin

I drank more tea and mused upon my life

Good and evil, fighting in the light

Let Love be strong and further love incite

Do not die my catheter is dry

I caught the tube for urine on my toe

The catheter is hurting more and more

I want to run away but I can’t walk

Mother take me home, it’s getting dark

I paid my monthly phone bill with a card

I must talk to friends when life is hard

I never thought I’d live to be so old

My chilblains disappeared, it’s not so cold

How I suffered as a little child

My brother was aggressive,he was wild

Recently he died, he got away

I miss him, I forgave him for those days

We both missed Daddy, how can Daddies die?

God is stranger than a mother’s

Sigh

I don’t like God nor calculating Pi

I should have studied music it was Gay

Dancing on the. Altar we decay.

The Holy Spirit’s fled in disarray

The little flowers

Don’t tread on the little flowers

in Katyn Forest

Fed with the blood of 20,000 unarmed men or roughly

Shot to bring àbout Utopia

How can good come out of evil?

How can force bring about love

How can the dead rise again?

God was absent already

Before the Holocaust

Before Stalingrad

Before Dresden

Before we aborted the inconvenient

Before the priest said Mass

Before we bit the Host

Before love waned

Before our eyes faded

We saw nothing until the bomb dropped

And he said, let there be light

And on the world shall I bestow my wrath?


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When true love’s gone and doom hangs over head
When life runs like a river to the sea
Then shall I take new lovers to my bed.
And with their carnal touch consoled be?

When my love lies and break my woman’s heart
. When life seems grey and rocks bestrew my path
. Then, shall I my life of evil start
And on the world shall I bestow my wrath?

When true loves lie and wreck all loyalty.
When puzzlement makes all the world seem mad.
Then I shall upend causality
And let myself do deeds which make me glad.

For I have love’s own child inside my soul
And I shall tend her till at last she’s whole

Himmler scholarship

Not to be outdone by Oxford, Cambridge has been offered money to fund a Himmler scholarship by a 5th cousin of the Nazi to find out why Himmler had been so evil unlike

the rest of his family.

Maybe it will produce new ideas to teach us important facts about human behaviour.Or is it too late ?

Is there any hope ?

Leaking into earth

My boundaries broken, leaks my soul to earth

Disdained by helpers out flies my own worth

My door won’t close,my body is unsafe

Being cleaned by others seems like rape

No time is free for they come when they will

Losing one’s autonomy can kill

To break into the sacred heart brings death

Destroying or debasing with cold wrath