If we phone someone but when they answer the phone they’re sound as anxious or distressed what should we do do?
We might think that when we phone omeone we can start telling them whatever is in our minds.
but there are two aspects to such a meeting. There is a conversation that you expect you to have and then there is a context that on your phone we can’t see the person or sends had a feeling so so you need to pay attention to tnh should usually say is this a good time to talk. But when you can hear distress you should say somethin
unless it’s a business call.
You could say
Would you like to tell me about it or would you prefer me to ring you in a few days?
Sometimes they are in extreme distress you may need to go around and visit if your relationship is close If that’d that is impossible you might ask them have you got any friends nearby that you can ask to come round? Or would you like me to call someone to ask them to visit you?
We can’t just stop talking to someone without being aware it might not be a good time or or they may be going through a bad patch. If they’re saying I don’t want to talk about it you must respect that.
You can try again in a few days
As many others have been cut off from contract with their family or friends during the pandemic it may be harder for people to start to talk;they may be feeling overwhelmed
If you are feeling very distressed it might be better to ring a kind family member or friends but do not make other phone calls while you are feeling like that unless it’s absolutely essential.
Who has never felt grief When a small gesture would have helped but it has ,unknowingly, been with held? How many people have the imagination to guess what's in your mind, And to embrace you rather than push you away? No-one,No-one.No-one knows. No-one knows these numbers. No-one knows these names. No-one knows how many feel diffident, Nor how many feel shame.
Being alive is joyful! Being alive is pain! Being alive is all we have, We'll never be alive again.
I look into your eyes today I sense your shame and woe. I look into your eyes just now And tell you that I know,
Being alive is lonely. Being alive is good. Being alive is pain indeed For flesh is not like wood.
While friendship research offers some benchmarks, it may be more useful for most of us to simply do a bit of soul-searching. Marisa Franco, a psychologist and author of the forthcoming book “Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends,” recommends starting with a fairly obvious but powerful question: Do I feel lonely?
“Loneliness is a sort of signal or alarm system,” Dr. Franco said. Everyone feels lonely from time to time, but this is a deeper question about whether you regularly feel left out or isolated. One recent survey suggested that roughly one in three Americans have experienced “serious loneliness” during the pandemic.
It also helps to ask yourself if there are parts of your identity that feel restricted, Dr. Franco said.
Prevention people try to avoid loss: They’re cautious; they don’t want to make errors. Promotion people strive for accomplishments and see potential threats, including rejection, as challenges. Reich has become something of an evangelist for ambivalence in part because she thinks it can motivate people to be less fearful and more proactive. “We’re hoping to help prevention people use ambivalence to become promotion people,” she says.