1.~Start early to prepare for Confession if you still go

Commit an interesting, but harmless to others,  sin early in the week to avoid that dumb panic on Saturday at 5 pm
You may already have done this accidentally,
Do NOT kill anything nor tempt others to sin [my, I never knew I was so attractive]
What sin is interesting without being wicked?
Do let me know
“2

Never tell a sick friend that you can’t visit because you are going to Mass,  Vespers ,lighting candles etc
3
Never talk about religion unless others  do first.In any case, it’s probably better to avoid it

4
One of  the main points of religion is to remind us we are not God and never will be.
Leave it all out if  you like, but keep this.
You don’t have to go to church to   listen to the Sermon on the Mount or to spend a short time alone with yourself and present to your self…. in that, we may find some connection we didn’t know of.Similarly you can sit with a  friend having a hard time without lecturing them on how you would cope

5.Try to ignore that desire to correct others errors including  do  help them by mis-pronoincing a word they just mis-pronounced; unless you are a teacher in school
and especially theological errors

6.Listen for the still small voice rather than shouting a list of desires godwards.He/It/She is not Father Xmas

7 Go into a wood and forget everything including this.

Read theology by people who are NOT Catholics like Martin Luther King

That’s it for now

So,how are you getting on with your SoulMates choices
I’ve just met someone who disbelieves in the same God as I do
What about his job?
He’s been fired just like I was
Well,this sounds promising.Does he have a sense of humour?
Yes, he’s trying to live on Benefits
Is he in good health?
No, he’s in Godmanchester
Is he well dressed?
For an unemployed widower, yes!
Where does he take you?
To the public convenience
Why?
To save water.
Where else?
To the library
Does he read?
He read History  at Nottingham
And what does he think?
He’s still in shock
What about?
Caligula
Is he doing Ancient History?
It’s all ancient or it’s not history
Will you  marry him or  join a nunnery
It’s not all black and white, you know We might live in sin
I’ve never been,is the climate good?
Hot as hell
So it will raise your Vitamin D?
To infinity
You don’t say. can I come?
Don’t ask me.I’m annoyed
Why?
If Boris Johnson had gone to a Polytechniciv none of this
mess would exist
Just a different one
Could it be worse?
Oh, much worse.
How?
The hills would be mountains
The sea an ocean
Do you write poetry?
No,I speak it
Is it a tongue?
Who decides?

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Photo by Jonatan Vanting Iversen on Pexels.com

Doctor,I can’t eat my dinner
Try drinking it

Doctor I’ve got an ulcer on my bunion
Don’t keep showing off

Doctor, the cat bit me
That’s not a cat, it’s a tiger cub
Do I have to die while you carry on about names?
No,I’ll be silent

Doctor I was sick on the TV
Fame at last!
How can I get it clean?
We didn’t do that at Medical School.

Doctor, my wife is expecting a baby
Are Amazon sending it?
No,Hermes, they say between 6 and 9 pm
Well,  make her something nice to eat
I’ll show her the recipe
And she will just show you the food.
Can’t I feed the baby?
Are you transgender?
Not yet but I live in Hope
Go back where you came from
That’s what they said to the Jews and look what happened!
Has God spoken to you?
Yes,but in Yiddish
You can’t expect him to learn English
But he expects us to learn it.
Oh, stop babeling on

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/suave

Meaning of suave in English

Will you  kindly hear my Confession,Father?
Yes, I am  here.
I have committed the wrong sins.
Any sin is wrong,dear
I mean,some people break into a bank and steal millions
Yes, but they usually end up in jail
Well, in jail I wouldn’t have to boil  my husband’s hankies
But won’t you feel sorry  for him with no drawer of neatly ironed hankies?
Maybe after a few years
Get back on track.What are these sins that you call wrong?
I am fuming with rage,madness and jealousy but I don’t let them show.I act pleasant
Well, that seems very kind to me.
Not to you.To my sister and my brother
But  our minds are not our own.These feelings arise.It is not a sin unless you do something cruel because of them
I’m unsure if I believe that.Is there no way of living where we don’t have those   feelings?
I suppose if you lived on top of a pillar in the desert but your mind might wander back
I think it would.Why do minds wander?
They get frustrated by boredom.So maybe you need something stimulating to do and then you need to be contented
I thought I was contented.But clearly I am not.There’s always somebody somewhere who  has more  then I do
You seem to have a brighter mind than many.
Yes,it wears me out.
You should  just wear it lightly
How do  you wear a mind?
In or out?
When in doubt,say nowt.
And do you repent?
I am trying
I so agree.You are but never mind.God has forgiven you now.
I’m not sure about these rites.Still,It lets us reflect which is good
For your penance look in a mirror and admire yourself three times a day
Well, that’s a very  unusual penance.Can’t I whip myself and call myself a bleeding idiot?
Now, that really would be a sin.What are you ,a sado-masochist?
Oh,dear.I have fallen  into evil ways.I hope  God won’t turn me into a pillar of salt
As a child, I thought it was a pillow of salt
We all see and hear things in our own way.
May the Lord  bless you and keep you
May he let his countenance shine upon you
Amen

Wasting life when we would like to dance
Walk in ferny woods. exchange a glance
Can we have a decent  person at our head?
Jesus Christ,no b*gger understood

Why be happy when you could feel mad?
Glad that Donald Trump is not your dad
Don’t  let  logic, reason or plain thought
Sell you something Mother  never bought

Why not let   the police take all control?
They know  how to score a self made goal 
They can kill a  man and wound a child
Yet kneel down in Church along the aisle

Holding a black Bible in one hand
Will not take you to the Promised Land
Cain and Abel,Jacob and Esau
Does he hopen to start another War?

As the old man fell towards his death
They offered us a handrail for the bath
I was so shattered by their wilful lies
I could not speak, my saliva had all dried

He was walking albeit slowly when at home
When they took him off I heard the groan
Lost inside his head, no wife nearby
Even Satan would have wept  that night

Gabriel and Satan, hand- in -hand
Neither one will ever understand
We humans waste so much,we’re almost blind
Full of envy,hate  and  so unkind

G

People killed by motorcars don’t count
Three times fifty thousand just last year
Covid’s  killed 1/6 of that they hint
Whose ghosts will gather round the kitchen fire

Here’s a man who drove when almost blind
He  crashed into the chidren leaving school
Here’s a lawless lady who can’t find
The brake, the map, the  light,  the book of rules

We can’t fly to  to to Chile,Singapore
We’ll have to drive to Devon in our cars
We  may have an accident at home
Or get so drunk we fall and see the stars

It seems we  have forgotten we’re like flowers
A moment’s beauty , then the  heavy showers

Getting ready for the President to make a speech…. clergy  and others were attacked by teargas to prepare for Satan’s arrival on the scene,
The land of the free?

I was born the day that we bombed Dresden
Though my mother could not help to load the planes
She was in the labour ward in lockdown
When human sacrifice was born again

I would not suck her milk after Hiroshima
Though the radiation never came near us
It set a precedent and made me thinner
Easier to carry on the bus.

Life and death eternal fought within me
I survived in that I am still here
Though is living really what it used to be?
Death and evil almost won the War

Keeping thin is a well known procedure
To get through slits and slots however small
But are we each permitted to show grief here
Or must it live behind a metal wall?

More than 1200 heavy bombers carried out attacks on Dresden.I was born a bit later but prematurely.

I’m in deep now,never been this deep before
The world’s hollow like a shell and I’m out its door.~
In so deep, the ocean has its own startled floor.
I’m down,down.down.never been so dark , so more
I can’t rightly tell how I got where I am
I think I had an accident,fell over, then I swam.
Sometimes it’s a loss, be times it’s a man.
I guess I only do it ‘cos I know some folk can.
I don’t know if the joy is worth the pain
Would I choose to relive it if I was born again?
The deep joy is the amazing gain.
But the sorrow is damn sad, let’s admit it plain.
I’m in deep and it’s over my head
What was I thinking of,when I fell out of that bed?
I look up and the sea’s so turquoise like that mist is red
When we get good and mad and wish some loon was dead.

At first, it was all just black,black pain
But from the bottom of the well,
I looked up with awed love again.
That’s when I recalled,feelings are broad and sane
Joy is much greater when we’re in the deep,deep zone.
I dunno if I’m ever comin’ out.
We can’t control it,ain’t that what life’s all about?
I’ll never love with innocence again,nor not feel doubt.
But I’m no teapot and the devil ain’t got my spout.
I’m swimming and the ocean’s so mysteriously bright
Down here we don’t have no day nor no night
Fish nudge me with big grins and teeth white
Sea flowers fondle me and whisper,turn off that light