Become a better leaver

How my heart sings

 
 

since i lost you i have lost

the keys to my heart
the front door key
my mobile
and my money;now all i have is a large tube of ibuprofen gel max strength
and some feathers from the tail of a baby wood pigeon
that flew into our house when i left the back door open

maybe i need better boundaries
closed doors
and windows

the wood pigeon was so strong its agitation rocked the front door like a thundergod
like you,it did not realise
there are easier ways to leave
than smashing through glass
leaving shards to pierce my heart
not to mention my feet

become a better leaver
have mercy on those other lovers
for charm wears thin but courtesy is everlasting
like love itself

copyright

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I have lost the way out from the wood

How my heart sings

I have lost the way out from the wood
I wander in damp trees and mossy ways
Till my breath is green as is my blood

I lost  my map but thought I understood
Both how to leave and how to love and play
I have lost the way out from the wood

I say that man is evil under hood
But may be it is better not to say
Till my breath  has gone and I ‘ve no  blood

Opponents must, like evil, torment good
For here’s the war and gone is the delay
We have lost the way out from the wood

In the ancient times, God sent the Flood
Now we have the drought,  hyenas bray
Soon my breath  has gone and I ‘ve no  blood

Looking out, I see a strange delay
People wrangle, tortured, cannot pray
I have lost the way out from the wood

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Without you

I didn’t like to go there without you

I didn’t like to be there without you

I didn’t like to come back without you

I don’t like to be here without you

No,not without you

While the gossips chat

And I see that caf

I don’t want to live without you

And they say I’m strong

They can’t understand

I don’t want all this without you

They put me in

A metal van

It hurt my back

It’s you I lack

Tell them you’re near

And you can hear

What they don’t say

What they don’t pray

I miss you.I miss you

Come with me.

Be with me

Forgive me

Must I suffer for ever

Don’t leave me

I can’t go on with the pain

But that’s what remains

Without you

Best cellars this week

The woeful heart of giving us muck by Anon

Unsuitable people by Ali Moony

How to write a book in 20 minutes and lose your money

Sofia Malice

How to eat less the paper way.Eat the Guardian as the gut links to the brain

Warning

This may cause a fantasy usually about cereal.If it is about a serial killer report. to your manager or run away from your head onto the M3 and keep going till it expires

Be subtle.Give more than a duck.

By the BBC team of drakes.

How to seem to be a genius

Find 200 thick people and lecture them on Pascal’s Triangle and the Ark

By Log Table Junior

Escape from Boris .by Carry On like me

Why read books when you could read palms?

By. Pendle Hill

Diminishing

Once we were seven but now we are three

Four of us taken away

I do arithmetic when I’m inclined

The angle still matters today

Now I have dreams I’m alone on a peak

My sister is standing near by

I see all the landscape,it looks green yet bleak.

They are gone but I don’t know why.

When we had a father we seemed to know joy

He took us up Rivington Pike.

He taught me to ride on my brother s old bike

That’s how I see him tonight

He sang and he whistled,he used to draw

Yet he died while we slept in the night

Good bye dear brother goodbye

Good by my mother good bye

Good bye little sister, we all miss you

We can never again kiss you

How you shinen up in sky.

What a dummy

While Mary sat in the kitchen on a large pine chair looking at Hotter’s latest shoe catalogue,Annie was creeping up the garden path in a pair of turquoise suede elegantly heeled shoes matching her teal tencel culottes and blouse.Round her neck was a large lump of amber on a gold chain handy for beating off muggers or lustful men and women
Despite the heat she was in full splendour with golden beige tinted moisturiser from Langone of Lyons on her lovely complexion,pink eyeshadow from Yves St Current and dark brown boot polish as her mascara had run out and she’d not been out for a while to buy more
Annie ran the last few yards and darted like an eel into Mary’s 1970’s orange kitchen.
What on earth are you doing,dear? Mary asked her.Those shoes look unsuitable for leading anyone up the garden path.Mind you,I do like them
Oh,I’ll explain,Annie said huskily.
I told that psychotherapist across the road I was living with you.
What exactly do you mean by living,Mary asked anxiously.
Well,he said yesterday that anyone who lives alone must be lacking in some way.Except for him of course as he had full analysis with Alfred Zion.
You mean Wilfred Bion,Mary told her.
Zion,Bion,what’s the difference?
It shows your lack of education,Mary told her.Not that education nowadays makes much difference when almost anyone can get a 2.2
.After all would you pay £90,000 for a fourth class degree in Aeronautical Engineering?
And Zion is in the Bible
That’s not quite what I would have done, said Annie.A degree in flirtation and pleasing men would be more up my street.And cooking of course although I once did have an interest in Hebrew and Aramaic.
It’s not a way to progress in a neo-liberal economy,although reading the Hebrew Bible is always interesting.Personally I prefer that to the New Vex-a man.The stories,the love songs,the action.Mary’s round eyes gleamed with intellectual life and a bit of languorous lust
How about God? Annie asked her.
He seems to have changed as he related to his people.But he was a friend despite being an abstract concept.Though one could hardly call him a concept as he is inconceivable.
Mary’s voice faltered as she was stunned by her own articulacy and wondered what she might say next that could offend millions around the globe with modern technology beinf so widespread
You should write a book,Annie said kindly.
I think I am ill-equipped to write about God.And ,also ,I am saddened to see how his own people have been treated.I can’t dwell on it over much as I already feel weak and weepy.
Why what have you been doing,asked Annie.
I have been sorting out clothes to give to the hospice shop. I’ve got a big bag
full already and 2 bags of newspapers and rubbish of various kinds which somehow creeps into my bedroom… tissues,cotton wool, old hairbrushes.I am hoping to get it nice and neat before my sister comes to see me in August.And no doubt she will not be happy even then.She’d like me to buy a small new flat with a lovely bathroom and kitchen. But I don’t want to leave my neighbours behind.If I won the lottery I could get the neighbours to move as well.Love thy neighbour etc
And now I realise I have far too many pans despite burning several.But it’s a big decision for a woman who was famed for entertaining friends with scorching Beef Vindaloo and lemon mousse that ;ooled like yellow rubber.Giving that up is a big wrench.
Why can’t you carry on, asked Annie.
Carrying on is precisely why I can’t do it.Now I am a widow the wives of my former colleagues and my own women friends are afraid I will steal their husbands.
Emile miaowed in ecstasy as any talk about the love lives of his family were always intriguing.He was hiding as usual behind the stone flour bin.
Don’t you see,said Annie.If we pretend we are living together then you can mingle with men without suspicion.
This is beginning to sound like a spy story,Mary told her.And do not drag me into a character part in the play based on your romantic love for that psychoanalyst.
He looks ugly and boring to me.
Oh,that’s just a projection,Annie told her.You are defending yourself against acknowledging how much you long to lie in his arms and let him smother you in kisses.
Well,said Mary,I see you have been reading Freud for beginners again.
Or is it Freud for Dummies?
Mary recalled how nice her dummy used to taste when it was dipped into a jar of malt and codliver oil.Maybe that is the answer,she thought.
I’m going to Mothercare,she called as she ran out of the house in her green trainers and denim trouser suit.See you later.
Annie sat in the kitchen wondering how soon she could see the psychoanalyst again without being accused of sexual harassment.Even old age has not deterred her from seeking a replacement for dear old Stan.A few tears ran down her cheek and Emile jumped out and sat on her knee.

Ht

The law ot love

X

I cannot love my neighbour nor his ways

He is so pugnacious I can’t pray

I cannot comtemplate nor look for God

I’ll help my. .neighbour only in a Flood

Yet I cannot. judge another’s soul

. The art of living is inside the gale

I may have wisdom but it is debased

Like a hair line fracture wrecks a face

L

In the desert grey

How my heart sings

I was walking in a desert grey and bleak
All alone, with none to speakor eat
I shuddered when I realised the truth
I was unmarried, pregnant, mere refuse.

Cast out for other failings all unknown
My baby came too soon and I alone
A doctor with no face appeared and said
Your baby died ,I see he’s never fed

He flung my baby on his heap of dead
I lay there in the dirt, red with my blood
I had to leave or I would die of grief
The will to live just stronger than a leaf

I went to see my baby, and  he smiled
He was still alive, my love,my child
I took him in my arms,  where should we go?
I walked into that darkness
full and slow

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Emotions and the thyroid gland

How my heart sings

2012-05-12 10.31.12-44http://www.btf-thyroid.org/information/leaflets/37-psychological-symptoms-guide

Quote:

People with thyroid disorders often have emotional or mental health symptoms as well as physical symptoms. This is especially the case for people with hyperthyroidism (an over-active thyroid), hypothyroidism (an under-active thyroid), thyroid related eye disease, or thyroid cancer.

What kind of emotional problems might I experience?

Whatever your type of thyroid disorder, it can make you feel more emotional than you felt before and you may find that your mood changes, sometimes rapidly and unpredictably. Common emotional problems are:

Over-activity

  • Anxiety – a feeling of nervousness, with butterflies, heart racing, trembling, irritability, sleep difficulties

Under-activity

  • Depression – low mood and difficulty enjoying things, tearfulness, loss of appetite and disturbed sleep
  • Either over-activity or under-activity
  • Mood swings – snappiness or short-temper which people often call ‘moodiness’
  • Sleeping difficulties

What about mental health problems?

Mental health, or cognitive, problems that can occur, most often with thyroid under-activity, include:

  • Difficulties…

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Undervaluing sleep,darkness and reverie

How my heart sings

_92576100_angusBBC News image

http://www.vancouverobserver.com/blogs/betweenus/writer-urges-us-reclaim-our-sleep

At issue here is our inner life. In a chapter called “The Social Divide,” Duff describes the widening gap between sleep and waking consciousness. She briefly traces the history of the marginalization of not only our own subjective experience, but also the mythologies that once provided its context.

“I was most familiar with Greek mythology,” she explained. “[The Greeks] paid a lot of attention to sleep and dreams and how that material is worked in us. I was surprised to find out how my Eastern philosophical traditions had studied sleep. Three or four thousand years [later], we think we’ve just discovered it. But there’s so much folklore and cultural life passed down from generation to generation. Everything that mothers learn from their mothers to promote sleep [like] lullabies.

“With the Enlightenment we sort of erased our awareness. Darkness became aligned with [what] we were tying to…

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Lyra has a bath and Stan entertains his mistress

How my heart sings

Image

Stan was in the conservatory re-watering the cacti and sweeping the ceiling with a new broom.Mary his wife,[or so she claimed],was in the kitchen making cheese scones and bread for their afternoon tea.Their daughter Laura was taking a bath to wash all the blue raindrops from her hair.A peaceful Saturday scene in the Midland town of Knittingham.

Just out of the blue,the doorbell rang.It was Annie their widowed next door neighbour.She was wearing a long blue satin dress with a built in train.”I’m off to London now” she simpered.”Can I give Lyra a lift in my train?”
I believe unless I have strong disconfirmatory evidence, that my daughter is still in the bath.”Stan said defiantly.
Anne entered the house and ran upstairs.There she saw Lyra wrapped in a large blue towel like object.

“Is this a towel?” Lyra asked pertly

.”I have no…

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Cold dogs

Why you should never take a bath ,….,handbags

are enough for most of us

Don’t steal your own bike.Is it even possible ?

Self deception is common as a defence but don’t pretend you are not on a cliff unless you are keen to pay no more tax ever.

Do not eat your neighbours dogs.Export them to China.

Who owns the fence ?