I regret nothing

Don’t send me an apron for Xmas
When all that I want is a glove
A glove for the oven
Its hands must be frozen
Let’s drown the old oven in love.

Don’t send me a card on my birthday
I cannot remember your name
Just bake me a cake
I prefer it to steak
Don’t limp unless you are lame


Don’t change the sheets every week,dear
For washing them makes them wear thin
Just give me a brush
I’ll beat off the fluff
Then we can both have some fun

Don’t give me bacon for breakfast
God won’t let Jews eat it yet
His aversion to swine
Is what makes him divine
The fig tree
is dead I regret

Tea with brandy

Photo by Anderson Martins on Pexels.com

As Mary put her navy blue peacoat on over her red dress and grabbed her red bag she saw the cab arrive.
Bye,Emile,she called before locking the front door
She got to the Podiatry Clinic early.Just as well since only three of the chairs were in use
Soon her name was called and a calm yet warm young woman called Emma told her where to sit
Oh,dear.You are unlucky.You have Celtic feet,Emma murmured
It’s not bad luck, it’s because 5 of my great grandparents were Celtic, Mary lectured her
But they were all dead when I was born, possibly due to the Famine in Ireland
Well, at least they had children.
How do you know that?
You are descended from them
My, how clever you are.I never thought of that before
Do you have children,Emma enquired
Well,I did lose at least one in Spain near Malaga
Goodness,can’t you get in touch now?How old were they?
I guess about 3 months old so no doubt they fell into the Mediterranean sea.
Miaooooooooooow!Miaooooooooaaaaaaaw.Boo hooooooooo
Emma nearly passed out.
What on earth is that?
Mary opened her bag and there sat Emile crying copiously
Emile, how did you get into my bag?
You left the zip open and I was looking for a mask.Then you suddenly fastened it
Mary gave him a tissue to dry his tears.
I felt so distraught when you said your unborn babies died,I could not stay quiet
Emma said, you must put a mask on and I am not going to even look at your paws
Why not?
The NHS is for humans, she smiled graciously, if not superciliously
Well,Mary, you must let me examine your other foot
Which?
Well,you only have two, I hope!
Mary carried her red bag into the Waiting Room.
Hello,she said into her phone.Can you send a cab to take me home
MeToo ,yelled Emile
What the bleeding hell is that?
Don’t worry, it’s just my cat.Will I have to pay extra?
Not if he sits on your knee
Thanks, said Mary,
She and Emile sat looking through the glass door
Well, this made a change,he purred.I like Emma
MeToo cried Mary as she saw the car stop outside
Home and some Twinings Tea
With brandy, called Emile
And so wish all of us

As waves die

The music is the waves as they run high
Across the pebbly sands onto the road
Then groaning of the shingle as waves die

The fish that dwell deep in the dark, dark brine
The flow within as outer waters flow
The music of the waves as they run high

The moon reflects sun’s light to other eyes
Above the seas which rise up to its goad.
Then groans the shingle as the steep waves die

The sea holds hidden goods where we can’t pry
In the deep the heavy water moulds
The music of the waves as they run high

All the day and all of the black night
The seas and oceans change from high to low
Ah, groans the earth as each wave has to die

Re-hear these sounds, are they a sacred code?
As angels wrestled, Jacob feared the Lord
His music is the waves as they run high
His groaning is the shingle as waves die

In the desert grey

I was walking in a desert grey and bleak
All alone, with none to speak or  eat
I shuddered when I realised the truth
I was unmarried, pregnant, mere refuse.

Cast out for other failings all unknown
My baby came too soon and I alone
A doctor with no face appeared and said
Your baby died ,I see he’s never fed

He flung my baby  on his heap of dead
I lay there  in the dirt, red with  my blood
I  had to leave or I  would  die of grief
The will to live  just stronger than a  leaf

I went to see my baby, and  he smiled
He was still alive, my love,my child
I took him in my arms,  where should we go?
I walked into that darkness
full and slow

Abstruse

Photo by Hert Niks on Pexels.com

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/abstruse


Meaning of abstruse in English

 abstruseadjective   formalUK  /æbˈstruːs/ US  /æbˈstruːs/not known or understood by many people:an abstruse philosophical essaySynonymsobscurerecherché formalrecondite formal

Let them see your feet without their shoes

When strangers ask for photos of you nude
Or wearing clothes so scanty they’ll go blind
Let them see your feet without their shoes

Let them see your twisted toes turn blue
Let them see the bunions God designed
When strangers ask for photos rather rude

Can one solve a crossword with no clues?
Can one have no bosom and look fine?
Can they love your feet without cute shoes?

When you’re feeling sad and life is blue
When you long for love but not divine
When gentlemen want photos somewhat crude

Try to sell them on the Evening News
Take the veil or drink the Altar Wine
Let them kiss your feet without their shoes

When you’re looking for the hidden signs
Don’t read numbers settlers left behind
When strangers ask for photos, give them clues
Let them wash your feet but make them queue

Logic and marriage

Annie ran into Mary’s kitchen wearing a pale green coat and matching suede s oes
Oh,let me tell you my happy news,I am gettng married again
Is that why you are all dressed up?Why green?
Don’t be ridiculous,marriage needs organising
You mean the Ceremony?
Yes, and the meal
I think marriage itself needs organising.Who will pay the bills and bring in the coal?
Which side of the bed will you sleep on?
Oh, I must get larger bed,Annie realised thoughtfully
And who is to be your husband?
I’ve not decided yet,Annie admitted quietly
How many candidates are there for the position,Mary asked quizzically?
Well, the main one is Denis, the psychoanalyst across the road
I expect he already has a big bed..Mary joked knowingly
Yes,I spent a night or so with him and he has a memory foam mattress here.
I hope it doesn’t remember all the women he has slept with
Well, only if they slept there.They might have gone to an hotel or been in a caravan
at Southwold Harbour,Annie rambled on
They might have slept in a wood by a log fire or in a tent on the West Ban
k
So will he be faithful to you?
He’s already told me he adores me more than he knew possible
That will soon wear off when you live together
How cruel you are,Annie sighed ,like martyr waiting to be executed
Shall I make some tea for us both?
Yes and boil my hankies as well,Mary joked.
I shall boil your tongue if you keep teasing me!
They sat down near the window while the sun was setting in a wine coloured sky
I do like your outlook,Annie said
I thought it was Microsoft’s,Mary told her innocently
You silly idiot,I mean your view
I’ve never heard of YourView.Is it a new thing like Zoom? Mary asked nervously
I mean, this view here from your window at dusk
Wow,I am frightened how I assume everything I learn of is related to Modern Technology
Yeah, said Annie,I’ve done it too
You are both stupid,said Emile the resident cat
How rude.Why do you say that,Mary enquired boldly?
It’s the whole human race.All hooked on Skype or a Twatter
What’s a Twattter?
It’s someone who lives on Twitter
You won’t find a bird on Twitter.
So a bird can’t be a Twatter
That is correct.Aristotle would be pleased if he were here
Where is he?
In a book
.

That is end of “Logic made simple” on BBC education

Keep safe

He kept his tongue in his cheek too long so he couldn’t eat
Starved to death

She  had her head screwed on the wrong way
Lack of light

He wouldn’t wear his glasses so fell down a well
Unconscious suicidal wish or vanity led to error

She wore shoes that were too small and developed 100 untreated corns
Died of stupidity or poverty

His brain got stuck on the underground as his head fell off his body.
The glueless disease

She wore a yellow bikini on the beach which attracted a lot of wasps
Need I say more?
Died fighting as men wept

She was baking bread but got into the oven and was roasted with a potato
Bad luck.Only do one thing at a time
Died of hyperactivity and lack of concentration

He was writing a blog post and got sad as it seemed too poor
Then he drowned his sorrows [ and himself

He got chilblains which stopped him from walking so his blood froze

Verdict: Bad weather and lack of housing

Arthritis made her so stiff we put her into a coffin and accidentally buried her
Verdict-Misadventure and human error

She fell over the cat and hit her head on the fridge
Verdict? Misfortune as skull too thin

She got off a moving bus as the doors opened
Verdict: Died of conceit

Owls surprise

Photo by Francesco De tommaso on Pexels.com

Look without and see the claret sky
The sun is falling like Greek wine tonight
As sparrows hide in holly,safe from eyes

We need protection till our minds sublime
Into dusty corners shine their lights
Look without and see the curious sky

Tell your heart, your truth, though others lie
Seem rewarded with both cash and spite
Oh, sparrows hide in holly, leaves awry

A man is called an emperor , yet he dies
Look without and see the fatal signs
The sky is turning panic to delight

At last, philosopher, the silence sighs
Throw away the your thoughts, cold or benign
As sparrow safe in holly, shut their eyes

The hawk may soar across the sacred lines
Where patterns of complexity arise
Look without and see the open sky
When sparrows rest in holly, owls surprise

Mary and the alarm clock

Mary sat brooding in her armchair, while Emile slumbered by the red hot fire
How can I be sure to waken up tomorrow in time for my Podiatry visit? she pondered
I am used to waking early, but you never know,she told herself
When she went to bed, carryin a flask of English Breakfast Tea she picked up her alarm
clock but the battery was missing yet again
Never mind, she thought.I shall use my phone instead as she put on her long nightdress and
a wool jumper full of holes
How fortunate that I can wear old clothes in bed rather than seductive satin lingerie, she thought
They are usually polyester and that’s not warm.Though no doubt if it is very seductive you will soon get hot unless
your mate works nights down a coal mine.Then, why would a woman wear it?
Does it mean she has a lover living near by, perhaps next door?
We can only wonder
why women must suffer not only this but stiletto heels and blow dries
She put the flask of tea down and got into her cosy bed.
Alas, Mary was still anxious about the alarm
I’ll go downstairs and get the kitchen clock, she decided.She struggled out of bed and fetched the blue clock upstairs where it was agreeable to being used
I really do need Stan to come back so he could resume waking me when he brought me some tea at 8 am each morni
ng
Shall I put an advert online<
Very thoughtful, anxious kind & gentle lady mathematician, good at cooking and boiling hankies needs a kind well read man as a partner.Must get up early to make tea and filter the News
Preferably a man from Tyneside or similar area
Please phone 0207 ccctheo or email iamme78@ymail,com
She set her spare phone and the clock then fell asleep.
She dreamed she was in a rowing boat on Lake Windermere with her first boyfriend who looked as attractive as ever
Come and give me a kiss, he ordered he
r
But surely it is dangerous to make love in a rowing boat, she remarked wonderingly
Yes, we might fall out but I can swim
But I can’t, she said.Are you hoping I will drown?
Don’t be so anxious.The Mountain Rescue Team will come and help
We’re not on a mountain, she retorded.Anyway I don’t love you anymore
Why not, he asked angrily?
I went off you because you never read a book and always chose the films we saw.
Did that matter?

There you are,you didn’t even ask me if I liked James Bond.You must be an egoist
His eyes glared angrily.Why did you not tell me, he asked
Should a man need to be told to please a potential girl friend?
I suppose not, he answered,Please forgive me.He leaned over to kiss her
but just then all the alarms went off,It was morning,,
How nice to have a cup of tea while trying to remember one’s name and date of birth
And to forget the worst boyfriend ever
At least he never hit me, she exclaimed

And so say all of us

Chilly days

My toes were cold ,like frozen strips of fish
Chill- blains threaten,I must not choose this
I’ll buy some woollen tights and knit some socks
Keeping warm in winter with the flocks

Podiatry is on the NHS
And so my lady kind I vow to bless
Gentle as a mist on Whitby shores
Warmer than the sea,I can’t say more.


I ought to wear some warmer clothes at night
I have a little cat his name is Blake
He will not eat his dinner, he wants mine
I wish he were a man and we could dine


My fingers are as cold as stainless steel
Was it I who made the motor wheel ?
I like ellipses yet they do nor roll
Though neither does a dollop of hot coal

When we all are old we’ll go to God
He recycles people with his Rod
Some of us come back as Eskimos
I can guess that just by my cold toes

I prefer a hotter place to live
Hell has its attractions like a sieve
Naughty people have more fun I feel
I want to change my feet into small wheels

In the end, it’s good to feel and hope
Before we turn into the holy smoke

Menu for mad native of UK

Art by Katherine

Fried frogs on a bed of lice with free desert and Bedouin prisoner
Scottish moles and salad with hot flatbread from Gaza & strip
English Enema with free water and wafers and Syrian Refugee
Welsh Wrabbit grilled on West Bank of Thames plus Binoculars and Gun
Scottish Sausage with alimony tossed in lemon juice and oil
HP Sauce on Macaroni in butter with Russian Cheesefake

Fried Fish with chip on boulder of Galilee with boat
German Green Goose with mesh of potato free to engage
Grumbling Grand Gorse with spikes and dressing and free Baptism
Spanish Hamlet with chunky chips and a pack of cards with Joker
Linear Equations of Spaghetti with photo of salad Macbeth
Matrix of Pasta in green gauze with free wound and needle
Hindu Blessing and free food for all who smile
Cherry Tree blessed by God plus Rice and Nuts and free Tea
Irish plight and potato free
to all

It speaks

seashore under blue sky
Photo by Tom Swinnen on Pexels.com

This poem is written in the sonnet form,
And yet I have my doubts about its shape
Though nearly to that structure it conforms
There may be holes where nightmare faces gape.

It looks and speaks just as a sonnet would
And talks of metaphysical concerns.
Do we conclude, as poets and readers should,
That in our schizoid age we cannot learn?

For humans may be decked in clothes of wolves;
And lambs be dressed in lion’s fearsome furs.
Thus, sense is tricked and problems are unsolved.
Landscapes etched, yet details seem quite blurred.

It looks like one,it feels like one,it speaks;
Yet from these words, does human feeling leak?

The shape and form

Put your painful feelings into form
The sonnet,villanelle, the triolet
The shape controls the anguish of the storm


Our wounds can shape our vision and our thoughts
Remember school, where bullies made you pay?
Put your painful feelings into form

Words like daggers pierce the loving heart
Oh, memory must not cut us off from play
The play controls the violence of the storm

Let all thought of vengeance now depart
Or our spirit blackens, then decays
Put those painful feelings into form

In its time the sun will bring new dawns
Tears will wash our souls from black to grey
The words compress,contain the bloody storm

Do not give the monsters time of day
Conversation does not always pay
Put your painful feelings into form
The shape will heal the anguish like a balm

I could not own my grief

The moment that they told me he was gone
I knew I never more would be at one.
The guilt  is bad, the shame is harder still
That I no longer am  what I would will

That I did not perceive the   your state of mind
That to your heart I seemed to have been blind
That I was not enough to keep you here
That life and death most grievous are  so near

Then  shamed by my emotions I withdrew
Into the prison cell  that no-one knew
My soul was  pierced , I could not own my grief
 Limp, submissive , blown away, a leaf.

Shame is deadly, unexposed to speech
With reddened face and   faltering voice I weep

The blocked grief was a stone

The grief that was a stone inside my chest
Has melted into water,now my tears
That rain upon my face, that feel like death

Is human life a lesson with its tests?
Must people walk with anguish down the years?
The grief weighed like a boulder in my chest

God did not evoke the fierce Tempest
His still small voice will whispers in the ear
The rain runs down my face, I hate love’s death

I rage against the fever,give me rest
The little whisper tells me,do not fear
The grief stood like a boulder on my chest

The Dove flies on the current of God’s breath
My shrouded eyes are wet, how is Love dear
That rains upon my face, that feel like death
?


From the cliff top I saw white walls sheer
I shall not go again,my mind is clear
The blocked grief was a stone inside my chest
It turned to tears, yet still I feel love’s dea
th

To beauty

A silver tear rolled lonely as sliced moon
Down my pallid cheek  to wet my lip
Your loss turned me to sadness and damp gloom

My future  seemed, not promising, but doomed
The icy nails of death gave me a nip
A little tear rolled lonely as lost moons

Yet, in my mind, I heard L Cohen’s tunes
“There ain’t no cure for love” on this our trip
Your loss turned me to sadness ,clouds of gloom

Yet soft, deep darkness  need not lead to doom
Come,I’ll take a lover, board a ship
A starry tear rolled lonely as   new moon

I will  love, I ‘ll seek  for new  hope soon
Will I descend to stealing from a skip?
Your loss sent me to sadness like a room

I  need no LSD to take a trip
My open senses give me what I miss
A silver tear rolled lonely as cruel moon
Your loss turned me to beauty, life resumes