Don’t lie so still

Ah,brother I don’t want you to lie still

No blood to circulate,no thoughts,no will

No help,no humour.jokes no

sharp true eye

From our old shared pram,to live, to die.

I used to do your homework

late at night

Abstract thought to you was no delight.

You wondered over X and y and z

Preferred the shapes of Nature in your. head.

I shall retain the memories of the good

You who taught me speech and hate and love

When we speak but do not look

When we speak but do not look upon
The person we address, we are undone
We miss the tiny signs, the looks, the lines
We treat them as mere object we define

We treat them like a post of wood or stone
As if we cannot hurt nor cause them shame
We hit them with sharp words or thoughtless rot
And on and on until hate is begot

All want to be acknowleged,seen and heard
But must approach each other with great care
For most of us are thin skinned, nervous beasts
Who fear they are not asked to the great Feast

And in a thousand gestures we declare
We are not speaking merely to thin air

Force

Denial worked for you for many years
When you nearly crashed when turning right
You give no hint that you had any fear
Denial worked for you for many years
Real though is the body,real the tears
As I sat beside you,well prepared
Your smile was not imagined,nor the light
Denial worked for you for many years
Once you nearly crashed, that was not right

When we turn our face the other way
The roving car will hit us with its force
No time for any thought,much less a prayer
When we turn our face the other way
We will feel the impact or we die
No new day will dawn for those who care
When their eyes are red, their voices hoarse
When we turn our face the other way
The speeding car will hit us with its force

Behind glass… a defense

Have you ever felt you were behind a pane of glass? I did once many years ago after a friend committed  suicide.It must be a protective  condition but it is painful and odd.Everyone else seems ok ,you imagine,but you are not a part..In reality many people may be feeling like you do and putting on a performance while out at work or socialising.We are probably wiser as we grow older as we know more people better and see we are not  unique in our suffering and pain; we know that feelings pass,even the worst ones and we may have become better at judging others and knowing if friends die  by suicide it’s probably not our fault

When one feels that way it has to be accepted for the time being, like all feelings,I found reading poetry helped me and also being with others in a group where I could sit and listen without pressure to speak.I like this poem from then.It was a favorite  of Simone Weil,the mystic.

LOVE BADE ME WELCOME  by George Herbert

 

 Love Bade Me Welcome – from Love (III)

Love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back.
Guiltie of dust and sinne.
But quick-ey’d Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lack’d anything.

A guest, I answer’d, worthy to be here:
Love said, You shall be he.
I the unkinde, ungrateful? Ah, my deare,
I cannot look on thee.
Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,
Who made the eyes but I?

Truth Lord, but I have marr’d them: let my shame
Go where it doth deserve.
And know you not, sayes Love, who bore the blame?
My deare, then I will serve.
You must sit down, sayes Love, and taste my meat:
So I did sit and eat.

I didn’t know I knew

s:

“Once I begin the act of writing, it all falls away; the view from the window, the tools, the talismans, and I am unconscious of myself… one’s carping inner critics are silenced for a time… there is always a surprise, a revelation. During the act of writing, I have told myself something that I didn’t know I know.”

Gail Godwin

Teachers who touch our hearts

Leaves are the placet  along with roots where communication happens.When we grow beans the plants at first have just two leaves and need warmth and light to develop…. and so do human beings,We need food as well.

Thoughtfulness:Some reflections

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/thoughtfulnes

I became embroiled in “thinking” but I am more interested in thoughtfulness.To me this is connected to reflection and care.To be a thoughtful person I need to be involved with society.A thinker may remain aloof… and if you are a ruminator or a brooder this will detach you from the world of others too.So there’s a paradox  here about thinking and thought.

The other problem with thinking using logic and reasoning is the question of the premises you use.If they are not sensible,if they are wrong, if they are poor then thinking is entirely vain.And also by a careful choice of  premises or assumptions almost anything can be “proved”

Syllogisms can be useful but really what do they tell you except something you most likely already know

Feeling suicidal?

I noticed many people read the article I reblogged about  a woman who was feeling so depressed last year.There are many resources … the Samaritans being the best here in the UK.local charges on phone

Or visit this link

http://www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk/bspace/119.34.36.html

The shadow of a human

th Cloudy sju wiki

One side of us is good and the other is bad

We are like old gramophone records

Sometimes we are playing the good side

Then late we play the reverse.

The brighter the appearance

The darker the shadow

so Jung decided

Which may explain

why he and Heidegger

did not see the truth about the Nazis.

Jung got a top job

because all the Jewish psychoanalysts had to flee Austria and Germany

And later France

Jung was unable

to use his own insights

I guess we are all  a bit like that.

But we must keep trying…..

We need to accept  the pain

Of knowing we have a shadow.

If not,we will do harm

for if we don’t know it

we cannot control it

Keeping reality at bay

       “Clichés, stock phrases, adherence to conventional, standardized codes of expression and conduct have the socially recognized function of protecting us against reality.”
Hannah Arendt

Could you love an insect?

We were told when Robert the Bruce was in prison he survived by studying a spider creating its webs,It consoled him.So the spider helped him but was hardly a pet.First it was totally independent and more important,insects don’t have faces.They have eyes but no expression.And they are too small.A cat may feel like a baby…but a fly will not

Which makes me think we love  animals and even birds because we can detect a personality or imagine we do…….we can ascribe feelings and love to them.Perhaps we make them into mini human beings?

As insects are so different and smaller generally,as they are cold blooded,they seem too different to become pets.I have been known to address a spider as I help it out of the bath but I can’t distinguish that one from another.With cats,even when they are the same color,we can recognise their eyes,And they are very aware of our feelings…and wish to comfort.

But with insects we can get benefit by see how different they are and studying their lives .Ants are very kind to each other and carry a damaged ant back to the nest,for examplle.So they can provide food for thought..

Cezanne

Another psychoanalyst …Winnicott and Harold Pinter

“In a remembrance of the writer Harold Pinter that appeared in the Los Angeles Times (and posted on Slow Painting), Charles McNulty included a memorable quote by D. W. Winnicott:

But for all his vehemence and posturing, Pinter was too gifted with words and too astute a critic to be dismissed as an ideological crank. He was also too deft a psychologist, understanding what the British psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott meant when he wrote that “being weak is as aggressive as the attack of the strong on the weak” and that the repressive denial of personal aggressiveness is perhaps even more dangerous than ranting and raving. (All that stiff-upper-lip business can be murderous.)”

I just came across that quote by accident and thought it was worth posting here

Don’t sleep with a mouse

Much as we may love all creatures,.never go to bed with anything you may roll onto in the night……………Including very small men.

Have a sense of proportion.You will thank me one day.A man pancake is not a nice sight

By all means paint