Mary and the choclate icecream

Woods embossed
Woods embossed by Katherine

So why are you eating that layered chocolate icecream,Mary ,asked Annie  her dear neighbour charmingly  attired in a light purple skirt and blue silk top with butterflies embroidered round the neckline and hips covered by a silk dressing gown
Well, it’s a rather a strange story;it all began when Sainsburys had no slots for delivery
That’s not very interesting,said Annie foolishly
It is to me, Mary muttered plaintively.I wondered if there was anywhere else to get milk and  bread delivered as my neighbours were not so keen to get my last prescription
Why, was it for heroin?  Annie teased her, her smiling face ruined by a  too pale foundation by Hercules of Paris and Dalmatia with crimson lipstick from Boots adorning her wrinkled lips.She looked  ready to star in Death in Venice
No it was for cystitis, Mary cried.Anyhow I went  on to Deliveroo  and they have a store that sells food from Marks and Spencers.Only a  limited range, of course
Mary’s oval face  flushed with a pink glow and her singular blue eyes flashed like imitation diamonds at sunset in Weston -super-Mare
In contrast she was wearing a heather tweed skirt and  jumper of pure new wool
And her green trainers and matching tights
But they had no milk so I  continued with them on to Morrisons who again have a small
of  food and drink 
In  half an hour they were at the door and  all was well
Then one word came to my mind
What was it, Annie asked her nervously, her fingers twisting her  newly washed her  into ringlets so fast it  looked as if she was destroying the roots
Eggs,Eggs! They had no eggs,Mary confided.
Have you none left?

Yes but Emile fell off the windowsill onto the work surface and crushed them all
Do  you  believe it was an accident? Cats  have been known to suck eggs,Annie whispered
Wow,I didn’t know that, Emile miaowed furtively
Stay away from my eggs,Mary scolded him.Lay your own.I wish I could 
So naturally I went to Deliveroo where the local Coop was selling  food
I got eggs,crumpets, marmalade and then I noticed they sold icecream.Chocolate icecream.
You never eat it.Annie  told her
But I like it, so I thought,I’ll just get one as it is Easter
Well, the man came to the door and I saw he had a very small bag
I took it and it said, “sorry, we have no eggs so we have sent 6 icecreams”
That is illogical ,said Annie.You can’t bake  icecream nor eat it boiled with toast
So then I thought I”ll either fly into a rage  or I will eat the icecream
Then tomorrow I will phone  them and say, those eggs you sent were off
I have been sick all night.I want a refund
This is not like you,Mary, her friend said.You don’t cheat and tell lies
Not up till now  but we have to change.Not just ethically but  also
we have to  curse and swear
Your  fecking eggs were off.
But Annie shouted: they will say
We don’t sell fecking eggs but we have pickled eggs
Then I will shout: pickle off cried Mary
That icecream  has made you psychotic,Mary.,Annie informed her
Am I schizophrenic? Mary asked softly
Not yet but  Emile might be if you carry on
I’ll make us some lovely PG Tips Tea, that will restore our sanity
And make some for all of us

Stuff a sprout

If  stuffed cabbage is too much
Stuff a sprout, from Brussels  lurched
A joint of beef is excess now
Try a calf’s foot  not a cow’s
Try a sausage  stewed in milk
If it spills we shall not wilt
Roast potatoes make some mad
Grill tinned peaches, they’re not bad
Try a carrot for a lark
Eat  it when your mood is dark
Make a salad, apple, nuts
Celery must face the cuts
Walnuts  come in bags not shells
Just as oil comes  out of wells
Why not ask a guest if blue?
I  can’t eat enough for two!