I remember you so well for those eight years The nights you sang love’s lullabies to me I was fearful of the footstep on the stairs
You held me as we paddled in the sea Maybe Blackpool,maybe Morecambe too You told me stories as I sat upon your knee I have some good memories, too few Where are all those days we played outdoors? Who knows if these memories are true? In East Lancs and in West Lancs rain will pour Once you wrapped me in your coat, but then Mam was angry when we reached the door
She told you, you were foolish for a man Why should men be wise, should anyone? That was when your illnesses began
You let me lie beside you in your bed I’d had my tonsils out and felt unwell I talked but don’t remember what you said I didn’t know the meaning of pure hell I guess I learned that when death you befell Come back,Daddy,missing you too well I’m still your little girl, your smiling belle
Now I’m feeling kind of numb on this January day The darkness came down sudden and I feel it’s here to stay Shall I make some tea and pretend that you are here I’m naked like the wood underneath that swish veneer. I’m feeling kinda nothin’ now the melancholy’s gone Should I be doing something that will give me, like, some fun? The silence is not threatening, but neither is it good Did you ever wish that you weren’t made of flesh and blood? I’m feeling so damned stupid for falling on my back My shoulder was in agony and there’s whiplash in my neck The doctor, he injected me, but he said it’s down to luck He may have missed the mark, he says,I wish I’d said,oh feck Apparently the elderly are not in much demand I heard a sorta whisper as my head went in the sand We must keep the silence or we’ll frighten off the young They don’t seem to notice but the cat will lick my hand
I didn’t know how old I was till the clock flew off the wall Isn’t it uncanny what you see before the Fall?
Waiter, there’s a tear in my soup How can you tell? It’s quite clear I can’t see anything That’s the whole point
Waiter,my egg is too hard If it’s boiled I can’t reverse that What, all this modern science and we can’t soften a hard boiled egg I could mix some butter into the yolk I’ve eaten that You are trying to eat the egg cup! Is that what it is? Did you not have any at home? No, we never ate eggs Now we know why!
My wife has had a baby What’s its name? Aubergine Why? It’s purple with crying Well, it will stop eventually I hope so.My wife is worn out So why are you here? She says after this pain she never wants to make love again How do you feel about that? Is it my fault God made the birth canal so narrow? Well after a few more babies it will get wider A few more!Can’t the doctor help? Well, it’s against medical ethics really but he could use a shoe widener His shoes are too narrow, I suppose so. I think it is too big Well,she will forget when the baby sleeps Forget what? What fertilised the egg And what does that? Don’t you know? A spider? It’s sex I can’t tell the sex of s spider No, when you have sex. But we’ve had it 365 times and only had one baby Better luck next time
Put your painful feelings into form The sonnet,villanelle, the triolet The shape controls the anguish of the storm Our wounds can shape our vision and our thoughts Remember school, where bullies made you pay? Put your painful feelings into form
Words like daggers pierce the loving heart Oh, memory must not cut us off from play The play controls the violence of the storm
Let all thought of vengeance now depart Or our spirit blackens, then decays Put those painful feelings into form
In its time the sun will bring new dawns Tears will wash our souls from black to grey The words compress,contain the bloody storm
Do not give the monsters time of day Conversation does not always pay Put your painful feelings into form The shape will heal the anguish like a balm
Now we’re used to hearing “fuck” and “shit” What words can we use to let off steam? Oh, what a twit omitting words like “twat” However will I have erotic dreams? Few words are forbidden in our books Little children learn to swear and scream On the television, some won’t look As words like this flow out in lengthy streams Lady Chatterley, you were the cause But what will be the affect and effect? Lawrence, you were eager to enjoy But who could know what others might detect?
I think I shall say ” sorry” when I rage Would “lies and curses” draw more to my page?
Aldeburgh,Sizewell,Dunwich Heath The nuclear bomb shall bring eternal peace Housed between the town and the Reserve Its blackness is ignored by little birds If force deters, then we shall all be saved Or this our world will vanish without trace Innocently playing on the shore Children find old marble unrestored
Birds may sense the blackness of our hearts For, even though unused, the bombs take part They are here where Britten once composed And so the sanctuary ends unsaved,destroyed In between the lover and his rose A screen electric in the silence glows
My skin is aching,tender, loss has pierced My heart needs walls, its boundary has gone. I miss the touch of love from him so dear | | A rack of metal pins brought me tears Why suffer this till I am quite undone? My skin is aching,tender, by loss pierced
We forget that grief is close to fear When alone, we panic, what’s to come? I ache without the love from him so dear
Psychotic, with no unity, who steers? My head is so remote,I have no plan My skin is aching,tender, by loss pierced
Cursed be the One who made our sphere Since Eden went,by so called sin undone I ache without the love from someone dear
I should get my cell, St.Julian Hid inside the church wall, does Love come? My skin is aching,tender, loss has pierced Uncaressed by him whom I held dear,
They tell me I’ve got three years What did you do? Stopped chemotherapy, got all my money together and sailed round the world Sounds good But I have no money left.They said I’d die in one year I am so sorry you are still alive.Those doctors are idiots I’ll have to go on benefits Just applying might kill you Well. God knows I want somewhere to live Try a Stable!
I can’t afford to be ill.What’s the cheapest way to die? Either starvation or Beachy Head I long to visit Gaza first Why? I’ve never seen a person strip And if you go near the Border….. it could be the answer to your prayers. I’ve not prayed for years Just a metaphor.You could go to the USA and as you are black the police may kill you free if you can’t pay for your cigarettes.Just get a fake 20 dollar bill before shopping Where from? I can make one here You mean you are a crook? Not yet, but I am hoping Why? I’ve got schizophrenia and I need money for therapy You mean they charge the sick? They are just being politically correct It reminds me of the Light Brigade They say a foetus is sacred Yes, until birth! Well,I’ll have to think about this I prefer never to think How thoughtless!
Everyone is bleeding but we won’t stop fighting wars We even sell our weapons and the torture tools make gold Europe a disaster for more than several hundred years
We will not watch the News as this sort of stuff’s a bore My heart is beating faster and I’m feeling freezing cold Everyone is bleeding but we won’t stop fighting wars
We’re defenceless little creatures with wicked central core With our many nuclear weapons, maybe we are over-bold Europe courts disaster for more than several hundred years
Jesus hangs defenceless outside the liquor store I wonder how much longer those Roman nails will hold Everyone is bleeding but we won’t stop fighting wars
The pain of living here is that our swollen hearts will tear God picks up a paperclip, his lips are cold and closed Europe a disaster for more than several hundred years
Now the Day of Judgement comes, we stand arrayed in rows The Jews are singing Kaddish while the tortured children freeze Everyone is bleeding but we won’t stop fighting wars Civilised disaster for the last two thousand years
Before the referendum Before I rang 999 When I didn’t know how near the end you were
Before Nigel Farage Jo Cox The lies of Michael Gove Before Boris Johnson’s genes left Turkey
Before Leonard Cohen sang,save the last waltz for me Before I heard Suzanne Before you haemmoraged the bathroom into wine Before you consecrated the bread Before you were dead
Before by a journalist we were led Before children said,fuck everything Before Cohen died Dylan got the Nobel Prize
Before aspirations were merely for another shag and a new denim hat Before marriage was for licking each others’ groins What poems fell dead And the snow fled Before the hatred of slow reading came and glued itself to our minds Then we had the hottest September In December And the ice cap floated down the globe Observed by toads
When you were still alive And the lawn was unmowed