Talk to me

I am in the habit of speaking everyday

I don’t mind who I talk to but I must have my say

I can talk about mathematics

Or talk about Chinese

I just have to talk to you and I must get my way

Maybe you’re feeling tired maybe you’re feeling blue

But you are in my power and and you don’t have a clue.

I’ll tell you all my problems I’ll tell you all my pain

I feel I need to talk to you you again again again

Who is it I want to learn the emotions I can’t bear

I want to know that someone else will really truly care.

If you still reject me I feel the pain inside .

In my mind I see the names of everyone who’s died

I want to cry and grieve their loss it’s hard to do alone

I wish that you could be my friend I have no one I can phone

Why not be ambivalent?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/04/magazine/ambivalence-ambivalent-definition.html

5prevention- and promotion-focused people.

Prevention people try to avoid loss: They’re cautious; they don’t want to make errors. Promotion people strive for accomplishments and see potential threats, including rejection, as challenges. Reich has become something of an evangelist for ambivalence in part because she thinks it can motivate people to be less fearful and more proactive. “We’re hoping to help prevention people use ambivalence to become promotion people,” she says.

Learning How to Deal With the Haters

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/22/your-money/learning-how-to-deal-with-the-haters.html

Deal with it. After you’ve done your best to simply brush the hate aside, the painful truth is that you’ll probably still find yourself bothered by the comments. When you find yourself at this “Level 4” pain, don’t be surprised that it still hurts. If you aren’t surprised, then you won’t be shocked. And if you’re not shocked, there’s a good chance you won’t be stopped from doing your really important work. It’s not going to make the hate less painful, but it will help you move forward.

Why we don’t listen to the people we are closest to!

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/11/well/family/listening-relationships-marriage-closeness-communication-bias.html

6

finish!” “That’s not what I said!” After “I love you,” these are among the most common refrains in close relationships. During my two years researching a book on listening, I learned something incredibly ironic about interpersonal communication: The closer we feel toward someone, the less likely we are to listen carefully to them. It’s called the closeness-communication bias and, over time, it can strain, and even end, relationships.

Once you know people well enough to feel close, there’s an unconscious tendency to tune them out because you think you already know what they are going to say. It’s kind of like when you’ve traveled a certain route several times and no longer notice signposts and scenery.

But people are always changing. The sum of daily interactions and activities continually shapes us, so none of us are the same as we were last month, last week or even yesterday.

Continue reading the main story

The closeness-communication bias is at work when romantic partners feel they don’t know each other anymore or when parents discover their children are up to things they never imagined.

It can occur even when two people spend all their time together and have many of the same experiences.

I’mKaleena Goldsworthy, 33, told me it was a shock when her identical twin, Kayleigh, decided to move to Ne

Are you listening?

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/19/parenting/active-listening-communication-advice.html

Extract

During a conflict, people just want to be heard, said Robinson-Brown. “And being heard means that the other person values your feelings and thoughts, even if there is disagreement,” she said. “So simply listening to someone and then blowing past their statement, or not even acknowledging what they’ve said, can create feelings of invalidation, anger and sadness.”

Good listening means much more than keeping your mouth zipped. It’s a skill that is especially valuable during quarantine, which has strained even the hardiest of relationships. Data collected by Legal Templates, a company that provides legal documents, found that sales of their divorce agreement were 34 percent higher from March to June, compared to the same period in 2019.

“Oh, my consults have doubled,” sa

My journey in the ambulance car

To get to the hospital about 4 miles away in hospital transport and to return home again go in there transport I was driven about 19 miles or more in order to pick up another person who had ordered transport.

And then we how to proceed to the hospital. In total I spent 1-hour and 47 minutes in an ambulance car.

Perhaps I should mention that in the middle of the journey towards the hospital which/ about 50 minutes my phone rang and a woman said that my appointment at the hospital has been cancelled.

The driver could not turn back because he had to pick up a man so I had a company then to the hospital so I think it was about 1 hour and 20 minutes from when I was picked out when I arrived at the hospital which was about 4 miles away if going by a direct route.

What I asked the driver have you had any water he said no but he offered me an almost empty can of something that was labelled red bull beer although I do not think this is beer but I don’t know so I drank some of it fortunately it was nearly empty.

My friend had arrange

Edto meet me at the hospital but when I didn’t arrive for my appointment she asked the receptionist what has happened to me because she had heard me getting into the ambulance because she was on the phone to me when it’s arrived

They told her that my appointment has been cancelled they asked her where I was and she said well she must be in the ambulance unless they’ve crashed and she’s in a hospital in A and E oh she has been kidnapped etc

That was when they phoned me. It was a hot day and it was very uncomfortable.

I won’t tell you anymore in case it distresses you. I will just say that the man who brought me back could not be praised more highly. I was sharing the others with 2 elderly women each with an ill or disabled son and it was very moving to see such people people.

1 I was very tired when I got back. The government trying to turn us against the NHS? Have you had appointments cancelled the same day or the day before an appointment for which you’ve been waiting? Can you afford private medicine now that you’re old and no longer working. I suppose there are some jobs might be able to do but at the moment I can’t think of any that will bring enough money to pay for private medicine. I’m already paying for the dentist but because of lockdown I’ve only just been able to go to the dentist since the pandemic started and I’ve got a feeling that some of my teeth might need removing.

Still it will be a morning out and the dentist is very good.

Is empathy such a good thing?

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/04/opinion/sunday/empathy-school-college.html

Our capacity to see one another as fellow humans, to connect across differences, is the foundation of a liberal pluralist society. Yet skeptics say that what seems like empathy often may be another form of presumption, condescension or domination. In his 2016 book “Against Empathy,” the psychologist Paul Bloom argued that empathy can cloud rational judgment and skews toward people “who are close to us, those who are similar to us and those we see as more attractive or vulnerable and less scary.” The scholar and activist bell hooks 

He has sold his brain to the company but I’m not sure about his mind

I must be out of my mind

I’ve lost my mind.

I’m in two minds about your invitation.

Have you made up your mind?

I was in the wrong frame of mind yesterday to write an article about statistics. I don’t know whether I will ever get into that frame of mind again.

Does your wife mind that you have three girlfriends

No but they all mind about it themselves.

You can sell your soul but can you sell your mind?

I don’t mind if he goes to the pictures tonight or not.

She’s got a very rapid mind ;it’s it’s the fastest one in the university but sometimes it runs away with her.

Well my husband was very broad-minded which is more than I can say for that narrow minded woman my mother.

His mind was like a rapier and he killed anybody he wanted to

You have to exercise your mind sometimes. You could try learning algebra or taking at watercolour painting.

She has got a very deep mind but is it worthwhile to develop it?

His mind is as shallow as a goldfish bowl alright but they get on fine.

He has got the best mind in Oxford.

Can you find out where he got it from?.

Keep your mind still and do not let it wander.

Do I have the right to imprison my mind?

The mind has mountains sheer cliffs of fall.

She made up her face while waiting for him to make up his mind.

If you are not in your right mind where can you find your wrong minds? Maybe the wrong one is the right one for this occasion

Don’t let it get on your mind let it float away on the current.

I will go for a walk to clear my mind.

My mind was stuffed with trigonometric formulas

You’re too greedy by half. I don’t care for your behaviour

I don’t really mind either way

I will keep you in mind while you are sitting examinations.

Are you going to pray for me?

You will do well in my mind forever.

She wants a designer mind.

Who is going to replace God?

Will Vidal Sassoon change the size of woman’s hair forever.

Did God mind?

Can a mind be wounded?

The king was very weak minded

I thought you were going to say very meek. winded

Shouldn’t It be wound?

I don’t see why I should always use the language everybody else uses.

Would you mind it or would it bother you if they used words they invented?

I don’t know my own mind on that matter.

Well it doesn’t matter to me if you don’t mind. I won’t know whether I mind or not till my heart feels something

I wonder how minds can feel when thry5 have no hands

Well if your heart is touched by someone’s kindness you will start to understand but I hope you don’t mind me telling you this

I’m using ideas about religion to make the music

You are never alone with the devil

When you’re too old to sin God will still have his eye on you.

And you probably do have a guardian angel but it’s a human being.

The Mass is just a bigger and more interesting way I’m having a neighbours around for a meal. It’s a form of play,

Lonely People can always go to confession on Saturday night. The priest won’t ask you for a certificate of baptism. Norbwill they ask if you believe in God. What’s more important is that God believes in you

There are worse ways of passing the time than singing around the piano.

There is no devil ;5who needs Satan when they have relatives

Heaven is not a reward it’s an achievement.

You might as well trust in godcqbecause you can’t trust in man anymore.

Why can’t the Catholic church give people interest-free loans to buy food? A wafer bewon’t get you very far. Could there goes qq you toast and marmalade?@

I was a born Catholic but can I why the reborn?

Death is not so frightening when the worst thing that could happen is extinction

Yes there is a meaning to life. You have to find the path yourself but you need your friends to help.

No one can be totally independent.

Why not starts to have evening prayers with your cat? there may not believe in God but they understand your state of mind when you are meditating

Shame

Anyone ashamed their life to live

Who’s been cast out or down by those who are proud

Has got much wisdom to the world to give

Oh,we who feel ashamed to be alive

Gaze upon the cross where Jesus died

Religion can be dangerous when allowed

Images therein cannot be lies.

When full of shame you fear to live your life

Ignore the evil rantings of the proud

Humiliation

The strong can still humiliate the weak. means to speak

Deprived are many of the means to speak

The lonely and the anxious, the bereft

The starving poor the ones with nothing left

Can they keep their pride or even minds?

In chains like slaves that cannot be unbound.

To live they must humiliate themselves.

Would you rather die than lose your wealth?

O shame O fear O rage kill off the heart

In this system we all play our part.

We keep our eyes in blinders as we walk

We must not see the aliens that stalk.

The old that we don’t want to see

The old are now the lepers that we need

To show us how superior we feel.

Washed by carers who can never care.

No respect for boundaries when they’re bare 

The doctor does not want to get involved

Their latest symptoms never are resolved

Thet look as if they’re dead before they die

And worst of all they’re not allowed to cry.

Too old fly to anger or to rage

Their now life seems too short for a new page

How to Be a Better Friend – Smarter Living Guides – The New York Times

https://www.nytimes.com/guides/smarterliving/how-to-be-a-better-friend

34How many close friends and relatives do you have with whom you feel at ease and can discuss private matters? How many of them do you see at least once a month? Do you participate in any groups? These are among the questions on a survey called the Berkman-Syme Social Network Index, which physicians use to determine whether someone is “socially isolated.” People are considered isolated if they have fewer than six confidants, no spouse and no group affiliations. Those conditions make them less likely to report that they have someone they can count on to listen if they need to talk, give advice about a problem or show them love and affection.

We Need to Understand the Difference Between Isolation and Loneliness

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/18/magazine/isolation-loneliness-health.html

How many close friends and relatives do you have with whom you feel at ease and can discuss private matters? How many of them do you see at least once a month? Do you participate in any groups? These are among the questions on a survey called the Berkman-Syme Social Network Index, which physicians use to determine whether someone is “socially isolated.” People are considered isolated if they have fewer than six confidants, no spouse and no group affiliations. Those conditions make them less likely to report that they have someone they can count on to listen if they need to talk, give advice about a problem or show them love and affection.

The jacket on the chair that smelled of smoke

In my dreams I travel deep and low
Into the loving world of long ago
The jacket on the chair ,it smelled of smoke……
The funny tales, he sang, he laughed, he spoke

So faint the memory, strong are its remains
Security and love in our domain
The brushes and the stipplers all stood by
For no-one told his tools that he would die.

On his shoulders, like a queen I rode
So safe and happy on the path he trod.
His voice was clear and he could whistle too
In those days men were used to do

 

And  love shone from him on my mother dear
She smiled and made us cakes for Sunday tea
What  tragedy to leave  his children five
But in that distant space ,he is alive

The fire as red as any glowing rose
We were dressed so well in  home made clothes
Too happy, needing no words to relate
Our sense of being in this  generous space

I can’t get back to them, I cannot swim
The passages too wet , the light so dim
Yet I feel it in my body faint and clear
Death is not the end of those so dear.

Deep inside our minds, ancestors live
And   to out hearts a depth and breadth they give
Yet missing him,I hover near the place
Where I might dive into his dear embrace

The  table where we  banged our little heads
The chairs so close together like a bed
The teapot  always full, the sugar bowl
The fire, the kettle , pussy cat and coal

The fireplace had its oven  nice and warm
Looking at hot coals made me feel calm
The children seem to play in that   far space
And all around  is love  and on  and on I gaze

Blythburgh angels

By Blythburgh church, the cottage was unique
At night the floodlight  made me catch my breath
So beautiful the sight,I could not speak
I felt my soul awaken from its sleep
The Cathedral of the marshes is unique
The  soaring space,the stone, the river deep
The images that fade, the angels’ laugh
By Blythburgh church, the cottage was unique
In  the  dark , the floodlight caught my breath

Happiness is not what we think it is and about the rich people and how they feel

My still life If by Katherine

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/14/opinion/sunday/rich-happiness-big-data.html

in myopinion, is the Mappiness project, founded by the British economists Susana Mourato and George MacKerron. The researchers pinged tens of thousands of people on their smartphones and asked them simple questions: Who are they with? What are they doing? How happy are they?

From this, they built a sample of more than three million data points, orders of magnitude more than previous studies on happiness. So what do three million happiness data points tell us?

The activities that make people happiest include sex, exercise and gardening. People get a big happiness boost from being with a romantic partner or friends but not from other people, like colleagues, children or acquaintances. Weather plays 

expressions – Origin of “half a mind” and “a piece of my mind” – English Language & Usage Stack Exchange

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/171800/origin-of-half-a-mind-and-a-piece-of-my-mind

Both of these expressions/phrases have similar uses:

I have half a mind to confront that person.

I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.

Were these separate but similar expressions translated from

The anguish in the bones

People often think feelings come from the heart but sometimes i feels as if they come from my bones
especially the bones in my arm
After the camera software electronically stitches the image together, the resulting panorama offers a much wider view than a standard photo.s

I miss the full shared silence with you here
I miss you as I watch a film alone
Now I am just me ,God must me steer
I miss the full, calm silence with you here
The peace of love, the loneliness of fear
The anguish that arises from my bones
I miss the full, deep silence with you here
I miss you as I lie in bed alone

I miss the car rides into Essex towns
I miss the burning stubble in the fields
Yet I must rise again,I will not drown
I miss the coloured houses in the towns
I miss your glances as Love settled down
Where the harvest, where the ripened yield?
I miss the car. the journeys, hamlets, towns
I miss the burning stubble in the fields

I miss the joy of learning who you were
I miss the warmth of being loved and held
I cannot now complain you are not here
I miss the joy of finding what you were
Of learning what you knew of Art and fear
Now the golden ring has been unwound
I miss the joy of feeling who you were
I miss the peace of being loved and held

Sad story

A woman of 61 who lived in a flat in South London and have a jov as a doctor’s receptionist

Died in her flat and it was two and a half years before anybody did anything. That was because during a gale the glass door onto her balcony opened someone called the police who broke in. This is very disturbing to know that that could happen to you you when he’s in your next door neighbour will not realise that you were dead. Modern Life

Ed

Birds of prey

Birds of prey aren’t guilty when they eat.

To them raw flesh is tasty like pie

The blood of other birds is very sweet

Birds of prey aren’t guilty when they eat

They must do it quickly in this heat

The gospel truth they will ignore,defy

Birds of prey aren’t guilty when they eat.o

To them raw flesh tastes like an apple pie