The eye

The eye is not a camera taking shots
Our mind affects the aspect we perceive
And what it feels important it allots
Gives grace or hatred ,causes us to grieve.

When we are afraid ,we see the worst
We see disgrace or ruin as our fate
As if our self for horror has a thirst
So all the little details we collate

Yet when we love we see before us joy
The flowers sing, the birds dance in the air
We see no evil nor with hatred toy
All aspects of our world appear more fair.

We see not what is there,we see our self
To learn ,we must employ our own mind’s wealth

What is care?

Hello hello she moans and then she screams

She wants the nurse to come she’s had bad dreams

She overdoes the calling ,makes them mad.

She wants to see her mother or her dad.

But now she’s 94 nobody’s left

She still looks from South to East to West.

Let’s go home she whispers to herself.

Oh,where is home when she has little wealth?

The husband’s dead her daughter sadly too.

T1he Carers have no time, what can she do ?

She thinks another lady fancies men

she envies her then envies her again

What about the man who barks and quacks?

What pointed grief what torture rushes back?


These modern lepers lack Lord Jesus touch

The old the blind the deaf no longer rich.

Dementia is an illness cruelly taxed.

They have to sell their houses that’s a fact.

If you’re ill where is the NHS?

Old and weak be frightened, know the rest

Grandad were you cold?

When I was a child it was very important for girls to learn to knit because everybody needed a real woollen jumper or cardigan and we use double knitting wool.
When we grow up we will be expected to to make clothes for our family and to be able to cook properly. I don’t mean in French country cooking I mean cooking cheaper meat.
Making hot puddings which would have protein in like rice pudding and semolina or steamed jam sponge which may have too much sugar in.
Use it were unlikely to be very rich so we did not expect expensive clothes no shoes. I did not wonder why we didn’t have expensive things it’s simply that in your mother told you you couldn’t have it then you accept it at least until you are 14.
I don’t think anybody ever explain to me that’s they only had a certain amount of money coming in in and I don’t know what I thought about not having a car or or going on school trips.
If I had said there and had children I would have gone like that and that would have been very nice but I got scholarship to university. That was when I first encountered central heating.
I’ve not always had a central heating in the houses Ihave lived in in it is very pleasan
No we’re told that we older people will be ill if you don’t have central heating.
My grandfather was a coal miner he retired at 64 with a heart attack but then live to be 82 and I remember the last time I saw him he was lying in bed his nose sticking out lot of because of bone. He had cancer it was my 21st birthday he could not speak as he gave me a £5 note and he smiled then he died
His bedroom was quite cold but he had several blankets on the bed that was April. I don’t know no what it would be like in the winter but iprogress really laughing

The name of pain

I was thinking about pain I have met several people who have chronic pain and it causes them to change their way of life

lThen I read the language that we use to talk about pain has a big affect on our experience of the pain. If we say if its unfair that we have chronic pain

that tends to make it seem worse.What meaning can we give to fairness ?

Why do we think that the world is fair?

Someone I know lost his belief in God because his best friend and his wife both had cancer and his best friend has died

Millions of people died in the Holocaust and Jewish people certainly stop believing in God.

Do we at some level expect there to help those we love alive?

It’s very painful to learn that it’s not only people far away from us who are suffering but people near us people ,we love

So when one or two people close to you become ill you become very distressed and you want to focus your anger onto something and I suppose that God if smeone that you could choose to be angry with.

I myself have been into churches to tell God I hated him after a suicide I hated him affected

When you get older you realise that a lot of people commit suicide and more men than women and that the kind of society we live in or the kind of world we live in is not always one that will benefit the people living in it especially the poor and that’s not the fault of God? I’m using God in a very simple way. We feel that someone is in charge but God may have created the world but I don’t think he’s involved in all the everyday decisions that we make all that the government makes. I’m absolutely certain that God is not involved in all those decisions except through a few people there are who are trying 2 to perceive things well l&d to curb the hatred of their enemies.

we don’t like to feel that the world and also ourselves are subject to meaningless random accidents. That’s why even the suffering that many Christians endured did not make them lose their face because they believe in God and and knowing that they will go to heaven if they were executed gave are meaning to their lifehowever painful it might be lack of meaning is worse than physical suffering for many people.

so pain happens Mayve arthritis runs in your family so you’re not so surprised when you get it and it does seem wrong when you reach the point when you can’t walk or or do a lot of activities.

you may have to take up new activities.

mathematics is a very good painkiller for both mental pain and physical pain.

You could do it Open University course in mathemati is that does not appeal to you you what about a creative writing course?

You could make cakes

Cold in winter

I am reading an article in the times about heating costs and it seems that people with a large family could be spending a quarter of the monthly income on heating.

For smaller families it will be 20% or 1/5 of their income.

Of course when I was growing up we do not have central heating and most rooms didn’t have any heating at all.

Fire in the living room and and later my mother had a coal fire and fireplace built in the kitchen.

In the bedrooms there were fireplacesbut the only time I’m I saw a fire in the tiny fireplace was when my father was in his last year of life

Simply could not afford to use the coal

And if we wanted to use the toilet we had to go outside.

Old people keep a chamber pot under the bed if I doubt very much whether anybody nowadays would be willing to do that but it’s too expensive to have your house extended to build more bathrooms or downstairs toilet rooms.

People have borrowed money for extension and have got larger home and we are are used to keeping them warm in the winter

Using a vessel how to empty your bladder into was certainly a lot cheaper but it was hell going outside to the lavatory when it was snowing and my mother used to keep a little lamp out thereto stop it freezing up

When I was very small we did not have a toilet that flushed we had I suppose you might call a privy.

If you look down you can see the sewer

One might imagine that it would frighten children but my mother tells me that I was toilet trained and could speak before I was 1 year old.

Unfortunately I could not walk down the backyard when I was 10 months old so I was allowed to use a potty.

My older brothers were very nice. The kindly used to empty the potty over my head and I can remember that.

To help me to dry out set my hair on fire with a box of matches and know that I’m old my hair has got thinner and the part that they’re burnt looks like I’m going bald there.

No hairdresser used to mention it to it except one man who pointed to it and said pity about this isn’t it. But my hair is so thick and beautiful it didn’t really worry about

What did make me anxious was that they continued for some years to try to harm me

Even trying to make me fall out of a boat into a millpond

Oh normal behaviour for children I think

To go back to the heating question this is not the answer generally but if you wear more clothes such as wool vests and thermal leggings with wool socks it can certainly make you more comfortable but if your health does not permit you to walkc about very much because of arthritis or heart trouble or breathing difficulties it really isn’t much of a substitution for heating in a room.

death rates will rise next Winter because of that problem old people or sick people breathing in cold air is not good for us.

Sometimes people try to live in one room if they have some kind of bed or sofa bed and then just keep that one room is hot.

If you can’t afford to fill your tank with hot water because you can’t afford to put your boiler on we used to boil water in a kettle and get washed in the kitchen sink but obviously you can’t wash very much of your body in the kitchen when other people might be coming in and out so we had to have a tin bath in front of the fire and my brothers are not there are.

I knew nothing else and it was cosy by the fire

We were not as clean as people are expected to be today.

And also nowadays people expect to have a smartphone and a tablet or a laptop at least.

You need this because this is how the government the hospital the doctor etc if in touch with us during this pandemic and I think this will continue into the future.All you can do if find a cheap provider for your phone.

See Martin Lewis money expert.


Suzette Haden Elgin

Recognizing language that escalates

Acknowledging that there are times when escalating a conflict is the appropriate thing to do, if your ultimate goal is discussion and some kind of mutual agreement, how you bring that conflict into the open and force others to deal with it–the language you choose, the process you follow–will make or break your chances of productive engagement.

  • Blaming others.
  • Being over-apologetic or accommodating. “That’s okay, you just go ahead and have a good time without me.”
  • Asserting one’s rights, stating one’s perspective with absolute certainty, globalizing (what’s true for me is true for everyone else).
    Everyone knows that he steals. No one has a right to talk to me like that.
  • Attacking someone’s personality or morality, someone’s motivations. You knew we had a different plan yet you went ahead unilaterally just to spite everyone. That manager is out to get us. I know you meant well, dear, but you lack judgment.