Wittgenstein
Drank wine.
Like 1cats
To pat

Alfred North Whitehead
Was very shortsighted
He worked out with Russell
Their minds used to jostle.
Principia Mathematica?
I’d rather wear a catheter

Iris Murdoch
Drank dandelion and burdock
She wrote of the Good
Right where she stood!
In Oxford she dwelled
And all her thoughts jelled

When you i died my world became unreal.

The torture in my heart invented fear.

I shall not now recover said my mind

Staggering, deaf and dumb and nearly blind.

The past and future split by an abyss

Was my former comfort mere hubris ?

Unable tto accept the help nearby

I feared that I myself would surely die..

The firmness of conviction disappeared

No metaphor no symbol no ideas.

Walking on the grey and desolate soil

Like a mother with a dying child

I could not stay there nailed to any tree.

I had to save the child and that was me

Through this anguish refugees still walk.

We’re live ike frightened children in the dark.

28 years ago I suffered a very serious eye problem

This led to me having a major surgery and managing ti8

keep some of my vision 3 months I could see where to walk about it although no I was seeing double quite a lot.

0 eventually when I saw the consultant again he asked me when I kept falling over. No I said.

That’s very strange the doctor proud very few people with this condition do not fall over all the time.

I wonder why they didn’t tell me that at the beginning unless you salt no one would have tried to walk if they knew they might fall over every time they did.

He was even more surprised when I began to ride my bicycle again. So was I

Treasure your eyes and all your senses because they are how they relate to the world how you see all the the people nature buildings architecture the sky not to mention the television. We don’t always realise how much we have got until we lose some of it and it has been really trying I’m still in but I can manage I’ve got used to it. Like seeing black lions floating up and down which interfere with my reading so I have to move my head to make the the jelly in my eye move about more so I could see between these lines

It’s not quite what we mean when we say to read between the lines.

I think you and beings are a lot more adaptable and creative than we realise and we should help each other. I notice all the blind people shopping in the town struggling to cross the road and so on and I never used to see them before or very rarely

Teacher why have you brought that tin of pencils into the classroom?

Because I want to draw my own conclusion

Teacher why have you brought a telescope today?

Student: because I’m going deaf.

Teacher: what will you bring with you if you go dumb? 

Teacher: as you look into the distance the road seems to get narrower

Student I hope it’s not a Mobius strip

Teacher :why have you climbed on top of t?he cupboard?

Student: I want to see life from a different perspective.

Teacher: why have you brought your cat to school today?

Student: Because I can’t bring it yesterday

Teacher: why have you brought a flashlight to school?

In case anyone gets lost in thought.

Teacher I wonder who will be top of the class?

And we wonder who will be the bottom

Teacher today we will study the existence of God.

Student I just don’t believe it.

Teacher well we have run out of text books so I want you to use your imagination.

So you want me to imagine that God exists?

Teacher:If we keep practising every day then there may be an effect.

I hope the government doesn’t say that when the grain runs out.

Teacher :’imagine free school dinners for all

I just can’t believe it

Now Thomas you must try harder.

Jesus wept

Where is the headmistress?

She has been in a brown study all day.

Now girls I’m going to give you all the tension.

You mean Attention ?

I mean all my tension.

She got out on the wrong side of the dead this morning

Is it her husband?

No she buried him

Oh my lord, was he dead?
Well he is now.

I think you are differently labelled.

Is it the spelling terrors?

Yes and the compound interest

You really do pay for your mistakes

If you don’t wear clothes you save the cost see if z

Stay in bed all day so you feel hot by moo

The central heating bust I have no fire

How can you prove that you are not a liar ?

To tell the truth I have got no idea.

Telling lies is hard does not inspire

I have no idea that is a fact

What use is belief unless you act ?

If we start from zero we go up.

I don’t much like your arguments please stop.

Are you a wimp ir are you quite insane?

I have no other mind let that be plain.

I wish that I could see inside your head.

Since I can’t why don’t we go to bed?

Alright we’ll go to bed I love you dear.

Once there was a different atmosphere

You madebyou wishes very very clear

Can it be love when you don’t like their smell?

I have never thought for long can’t tell

It’s not romantic what would Plato say ?

Do they sell his book free on eBay?

Nothing ever comes to us quite free

Be observant with alacrity

No I did not know he was a Jew

I almost married one or more that’s true

Was he happy was he kind please tell.

I feel so guilty take me to my cell

You have had no trial and no defence

The judge in honour showed me deference.

He only showed it did not tell the way.

If you want to know you have to pay.

We can go to classes in the night

Lack of sleep the bestows it’s own delights

My boss won’t believe I am in intensive care, what can I say?

If you were in intensive care you would not be able to write email

Let me tell you you my story

2 I told my boss I had a new heart condition.

Who who invented this one?He said

Prinzmetal I informed him

.What a funny name he responded.

Well it didn’t make me laugh when I looked it up.

Why not?

Because it’s usually caused by snorting cocaine I haven’t even tried it.

Well that’s lucky or you might be dead.

You’re so clever doctor. Thank you very much