That Northern feeling

Ir were right crackin’ at school t’day
Wot wur tbey sayin’ this time?
Thi said wi can do Greek next year
You’re not doin’ Greek
Why not,our Mam?
Ye can’t even spek English
Why, am I not canny enough?
No, we don’t spek English eether
Well, ye shud a thought eh that before y’ad me
Ye mean only people with BBC eksents can bear childern?
Well, we reckoned if we learnt English we’d lose our desire
F’wat, Mam?
F’ that! Ye know… It, ye get what ah mean
No,Mam.Can you not spell it our a bit more?
Spell it out, te dad would tan me hide!
Still he must a dunnit,Mam
I dunno, it wer dark.Mebbe it wer t’ cat, ah thought
Surely the cat’s not mi dad, is he?
It weren’t this cat, it wer another bigger one called Billy.
Well, how come I’m human?
You think ye are human, but am telling ye,ye got t’cat’s eyes
Just his eyes? How abaht his whiskers
Don’t be so daft, our Kath,Ye’ve got his hair
But only on my head so far.Willa bi changin’ into a cat as ah mature?
Wi’ll have te wait and see.Put ‘t kettle on.We need some tea.
Why, what difference will that make now.I’m a cat,I’m a cat…. oh, what’ll ‘et nuns say ‘et Convent when ah tellum?
You keep away from ‘et Convent~
Why, our Mam?
Do as I tell you.Never confide in a nun
Well,Ah shan’t let ‘et cat fettle me.Ah’m not that daft
Well, yi can’t do Greek and that’s final
Kyrie Eleison,Kyrie Eleison
Wot’s that?
Oh, nothin’ at all
Christe Eleison
For God’s sake speak English!
So will ye let mi do Greek?
No. that’s final
Right, it’s goin’ a be Maths, then
I don’t know where ye com from, our Kath
God only knows

Summer heat

The summer weighs us down with sullen heat

Even cats and dogs sit still as stones

Gone are early flowers with fragrance sweet

The summer weighs us down with sullen heat

The hot flagstones return my angry beat

As people scurry by, ears to their phones.

The summer weighs us down with sullen heat

Even cats and dogs sit still as stones

Stan’s briefcase

Stan was in the dining room looking for an aged briefcase with his autobiography in it while Emile sat on an old TV set in the window looking at the birds.Mary was in the garden wearing an ancient yet trendy denim dress planting some trailing rosemary,lavender and sage in a small bed near the French window..She had decided that her salvation lay in the soil though what form it would take was not yet clear ;suddenly she heard a harsh cry.It was her neighbor telling off his dog,Emmanuel.Come,now ,he shouted.
Hail,Mary,he called.Can you spare a big potato?
Probably,she muttered peevishly without looking up.
I am making sausage boulangere, he informed her.But I use turkey sausages as I am a Jewish Hindu semi vegetarian.
I am not interested in religion,she told him kindly.I believe one can worship God ,if there is one, somewhere like a wood.
I like being on a group ,he told her thoughtlessly..
Well ,go and be in one she said naughtily.Do you like sex in a group?I am a mathematician and we study rings and groups but only in symbols as maths is like life with all the sensuality removed,if you catch my meaning,she ended artlessly.
Stan appeared at the door.I have just made the tea ,.he called.Hi Brian, how are you?i Why are you wearing a dress today?Are you changing gender?
No,said Brian,I am a mere transvestite especially in the summer.You should try on a dress,they are more comfy in the heat!
Well,maybe I will said Stan with utter sang froid.But it makes more ironing…
hey all sat down at the kitchen table and ate some delicious scones San had just baked and also they drank PG tips tea with milk and sugar as that is what the English most like to do apart from getting drunk.
Where is that lady Annie who lives next to you,asked Brian pensively..I like her bright clothes and her vivid lipstick.Is she single,he enquired in a faux naive manner.Well, perhaps but she is my mistress, said Stan defensively.Aha,aha,laughed Brian as he eyed the shrunken old man.
Now then,said Mary,leave him alone.He is like a magnet,women flock to him..
Now don’t exaggerate,Stan said shyly.I’ve not had that many.
I see said Brian.I’d love to hear more….. you’ll have to come to the pub and tell me the details.
Not flamin’ likely,thought Stan. ,as he examined his cracked leather briefcase with real brass buckles,backstraps and front pocket, a bargain at £3 and ten shillings in 1949.Hurry as not many are left.
All of a sudden ,he fell off his chair which broke into fragments..Brian was awed.I’ve never seen a chair break up like that he cried.
Well,ring 999 said Mary, a paramedic can fix it

S

There is more than book learning

Fear of the proletariat spreads Through the hearts and minds of the other class

They can’t understand folk who seem inarticulate because they didn’t do Greats at Oxford

They don’t understand body language, can’t see generosity

Can they not see anxiety in the children unable to play

The iPad taking their toys away

And their eyes grow more short-sighted every day

But noone has noticed. The children must be kept occupied because the adults cannot deal with them. To see your child afraid and hungry and even ashamed because they can’t have a new school uniform in September

Do children really have to have iPads what about aspirin instead that would save a lot of money?

Why do you only think of climbing height yourself and not think about those you’re kicking away with your feet?

And if you are upwardly mobile doesn’t that mean someone else has got to be down downwardly mobile? Unless there are more jobs available at that level but how likely is that now?

How many people the top are willing to be downwardly?

You might save your face and save appearances but you won’t save as people clinging on with their fingernails but I know you will kick them you will walk on their hand, will break their fingers with your feet and you won’t notice you will just find the pavement’s a bit rough over here

No you were only obeying orders although they were you’re orders that you were giving to yourself.

We can all deceive ourselves.

But since Freud we know it’s possible but do we think about it?

0 talk talk talk as much as you like because nobody is listening

Lemon drizzle cake recipe

https://www.gransnet.com/food/lemon-drizzle-cake-recipe

If you have a cupboard full of flour and lemons and butteraje Sunday special with a homemade cake.

If you have a lot of dried fruit in your cupboard then make a fruit cake. Make it as rich as you can because a rich fruit cake will last for a very long time if you keep it in a tin

I apologise to people who can’t afford to buy dried fruit

If you do find that you have a lot of dried fruit in your cupboard why don’t you give some of it to your local food bank because it’s good with cereal and milk because it contains iron and so you’ll be able to help other people and their children to have a better breakfast.

Whimsical and sensible ways to save money

Find out what kind of fish swim in the rivers or lakes near you

Find out if it’s legal to fish the rivers that do have trout or other edible fish And if it is legal start fishing assuming you can afford a fishing rod

The French eat snails so why don’t the British eat slugs? They must have some protein in their bodies!

See if it’s cheaper to make your own butter from milk then to buy butter in the supermarket.

Or switch to something cheaper. I don’t like margarine but if you can find a spread for your bread you might save a bit

If you are healthy but overweight you will save money by eating less and you will also help your joints.

Why not let your cat have kittens? When the kittens are mature enough you may be able to sell them but do make sure they go to good homes.

Don’t buy any clothes unless they are essential. I know that many of you still can’t even afford what is essential. Trying to keep warm it’s difficult in winter especially if you don’t drive so go to charity shops a to buy woollen scarf or hats gloves fabric gloves are quite warm.

Shoes can be very expensive.

Maybe you are alright for the moment but make sure you have some rainproof shoes for the winter.

During world war II people lived on a relatively restricted diet. They had no choice and some managed better than others.

I don’t think you are going to find many frogs legs or toads willing to be putting holes.

If you are throwing away a lot of food at the end of the week

Then you are buying too much.

Analyse what you’ve not eaten I’ll ask yourself why why did you buy it and or why did you not eat it? Then learn from this what not to buy

If you have to have people around for a meal I think most people will be happy with the simple dish and your company.

If not ask yourself whether you really have to see these people. People who are rude to you because of the food you give them probably not worth knowing.

When I was young I made a complicated dish I had never used gelatin so I used jelly out of a packet and I was meant to know where we’re eating that this was a dreadful error.

She wasn’t invited again even when I could use gelatin

If you need to wear glasses they are very expensive nowadays. Have a proper eye test and save money on the friends if you have to.

Try to get to a dentist if you have not been during the pandemic. Save your teeth now and save money later

Afraid of getting through the winter when you don’t have enough money?

Everybody is worried except the very rich. Worried about coping with the financial problems that many people are going to have since the prices energy is so high and inflation is is in 2 figures.

We can’t deny if it is normal to feel anxious when living in such a situation. Anxiety has a purpose. Its purpose is to prepare you you to do something to improve your situation.

When you have done all that you can about your finances the anxiety is no longer serving a purpose.

The anxiety itself can then be the problem. How many ways of coping with anxiety are there? The most basic ones looking after the body eating as well as possible, resting when it’s sensible even if you can’t sleep. Some people like to listen to music or an audiobook

Going for walks and looking at flowers and trees is helpful

But what if nothing seems to help you? If you were living in Germany in 1945 and you I knew that was a Soviet army advancing there was no point rrying to learb progressive muscular relaxation.

There may be a few choices like leaving the towns and going into the woods or forest to hide but if you had no food you would starve. There is not a lot that anyone could do do in circumstances like that.

Then when the war ended the world discovered the concentration camps where 6 million Jewish people had beeb killed.

That situation was so terrible we can’t compare it with the problem is we are havinf my paying for electricity or gas

Up to recently the government has not seemed to care about people living in poverty. Even in a rich country like Britain there are always people living in poverty. The minimum wage is too low benefits are too low.

For the better off there are still worries but probably not so bad. A rich person will feel very angry if they can’t go abroad for holiday. They may even feel depressed.

But one thing we have all noticed in the last few painful years is that one section of society such as the wealthy have no idea what it’s like to live on a very very low income where you can’t afford to buy a children’s school uniform in September nor give them enough food that they need.

I think it’s easier for the poor to imagine what it’s like to be rich. You don’t have to worry about food or energy bills. You can go on holiday as often as you want to to.stay.in very nice hotels

Even rich people I have concerns one of them might be what is the meaning of life

Will your life be more fulfilling if you have an extension built so that you can have a large kitchen with all all the equipment you would like?

No you will have more worries.unless you are really rich because heating your large extension will be expensive and it’s going to be double what you thought in the winter

When I was a child only one room in the house had a fire. We couldn’t go to our shared ir own bedroom and watch our own television because it was too cold and we didn’t actually have a television but those who did could argue about which programme to watch because it was only one television in the living room at the most

That saves you a lot of money but it can be difficult and leave you with no space to be private

Life is more expensive now because even small children have their own phones and tablets or teenagers expect to be well-dressed and feel really bad and they’re not even if it just means buying a top for £5 in the market

In a consumer society people must keep buying things to keep the economy growing

How many temptations to spend money do you come across in a day? Probably hundreds and it’s hard to resist especially when when there are some things that you would really really love to have like a new winter coat even though your old one is still ok but you are just tired of it

There are people who don’t have winter coats and they are unlikely to have a car.

Tlikely to be more crime now. Burglary shoplifting theft.

It is not a sin to steal food if your children are hungry and you have no money but even though if it’s not a sin in the eyes of God it is still a crime according to the law and you might end up in prison.

All we can do is try to protect ourselves from theft and robbery and any other petty crimes. We can’t always plan ahead because we don’t know quite what is going to happen but we’re going to do our best

Having good friends or acquaintances helps in most situations. And they may tell you you when they sink you are are going wrong in some way.

I suggest that it might be a good idea to limit or complaining especially if we are not in the bottom 25% of society.

So you can’t eat out or go on holiday?

Is your life so bad that you can’t be happy without a lot of extra

Complaining can become a religion

Don’t try to be more religious than everybody else m

What to do if you fall | NHS inform

https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/preventing-falls/dealing-with-a-fall/what-to-do-if-you-fall

F

What to do if you fall

If you fall try to stay calm. Take time to assess the situation as it can take a few minutes to feel pain from injuries. What you do next will depend on if you’re hurt and whether or not you’re able to get up without help.

If you already have a falls plan, try to follow it if you can.

Checking for injuries

The first thing you need to do after a fall is work out if you’re hurt. Take a few minutes to check your body for any pain or injuries, then:

  • if you’re not hurt, try to get up from the floor
  • if you’re hurt or unable to get off the floor, call for help and keep warm and moving as best you can while you wait

WH Auden’s ‘The Age of Anxiety’ | WH Auden | The Guardian

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2010/apr/10/auden-age-anxiety-leonard-bernstein

It is in “September 1st, 1939” that we first glimpse the setting for what would become “The Age of Anxiety”:

Faces along the bar

Cling to their average day:

The lights must never go out,

The music must always play . . .

Lest we should see where we are,

Lost in a haunted wood,

Children afraid of the night

Who have never been happy or good.

At the outset of “The Age of Anxiety”

How our bodies react to stress

Apples by Katherine

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/08/learning/how-does-your-body-react-to-stress.html

In “Your Body Knows You’re Burned Out,” Melinda Wenner Moyer writes about work-related stress, but everything she says can apply to the lives of students as well. She talks to Jeanette M. Bennett, a researcher at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte, about the physical effects:

Stress can have wear and tear effects on the body, especially when it doesn’t ease up after a while — so it makes sense that it can incite physical symptoms, too, Dr. Bennett said. When people are under stress, their bodies undergo changes that include making higher than normal levels of stress hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline, epinephrine and norepinephrine. These changes are helpful in the short term — they give us the energy to power through difficult situations — but over time, they start harming the body.

Our bodies were “not designed