Tons of hatemail,I received
Then a child from down the street
Made a card for me,so sweet
Leonard Cohen makes me weep
I love him but the price is steep
The more you hear the more you learn
Christmas feasts are now well earned
Nurses run around the wards
They at least are never bored
Now I have to have a jab
In my shoulder,is that bad?
We think every pain must go
In my case,it’s rather slow
I have got a Xmas cake!
About 2 inches wide and broad
I have puddings and mince pies
Do they know I’m MI5?
I’m no good at being a spy
Since I only use one eye
I don’t believe I could tell lies
Yes,I do not have a pie.
What’s religion if we hurt
The poor who think they have no worth?
Going to church in your new coat
See a mugger, clutch your throat
Why not move to where I live
The neighbours here just give and give
I’ve got 20 more mince pies
Chocolates, cake and more beside
A china mug, a desk diary
Oh police, what, an enquiry!
I do not want to go to jail
I only “borrowed” that red pail!
I stole a loaf but it was stale
I will have to take the veil