A long time ago in my garden

s  March 13, 2018 Cat rescue 2002

I had a cat which never scratched or bit
Her manners were perfection , I can say
But on the stairs she lay and fell asleep
She tripped me up and fled to Uruguay

She always recognised my newest frock
She would leap down from the window sill
And she would try to milk the fabric that allured
Till I had threads and holes writ in my Will

She  used her scratching post when on good form
Yet when we went away, she disobeyed
For we found scratches on the sofa arms
Where she had exercised the right to fray

Yet when she died  we missed her perfect pitch
I should have learned to mioaw like a witch

Died of ulcer on foot, was used to pain, so ignored
Verdict: too unassuming,undemanding and scrupulous
Accidental death by suicide

Died of a stroke.She thought it was migraine
Verdict: knew too much yet not enough.Accident

Got out of bed on the wrong side and set fire to her dressing gown with lamp
Verdict:Too shortsighted.Hence accident and fire

Was found by the wardrobe in her nightgown
Died too early to get dressed hence mistook the door.
Verdict:Accidental death, though unusual

Ate too much and got indigestion
Verdict: Stupid not to realise it was a heart attack.Suicide!

Was found dead by the maid who took her a cup of tea.Hole in forehead
Verdict:Accidentally shot by a poacher with good vision or fell over a runner bean cane

Fell down the stairs and then down a hole
Traffic wrongly rerouted through her hall
Verdict:Murder by Transport for London
Sentence:Send to USA to be shot before January 19th 2021