Talking stick

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Can I take a walking stick  on the train ?
Can it talk as well?

Can I take my hat off  before I sit down?
Gosh,is it on your behind?

Can I eat pizza with my bare hands
You tell me.

Can I have an egg for  breakfast?
You may.

Is there any milk in the bottle
Yes,baby.

Can I play cricket?
Well,it looks like cricket but who gives  the permission?

Shall I part my hair?
You need at least two to part.

Am I human?
God only knows!

Do I need a crutch on holiday?
Are you planning to go in the Fall?

Do I need a crepe bandage
I suggest you  try it on your mouth.

Why are you cruel?
To be kind.

Why are you not very intelligent?
Je suis  le moron de Tel Aviv.At least my T shirt says that, a gift from an admirer.
But are you agreeing you are stupid
Read between  the mines

Living in a small house or just good advice

pexels-photo-1047328.jpeghttps://www.moneycrashers.com/small-house-living/

To save money

  1. Watch Less Television. To curb the impulse to buy, cut down on watching TV. We don’t have cable, and when we do watch TV, we tune in to public television, or watch a movie. The less TV you watch, the less ads you see, which means the less pressure you feel to go out and buy new things all the time.
  2. Adopt a Strategy. If you bring something new into the house, something of equal size should go. I keep a bin in the downstairs closet to make adding to the donation pile quick and easy. Figure out what works best for your lifestyle and space, and set it up.
  3. Make Use of All Free Space. Use furniture that has closed storage built in. Nothing makes a small house look smaller than clutter. If you can keep it organized, your house will look and feel a lot bigger.
  4. Work With Color. People differ on whether bright paint colors make a room look bigger, or whether darker colors actually make a room look large. I’ve erred on the side of bright and cheerful. My own home is full of color: turquoise, orange, red, off-white, green, and yellow. The result of this bright color palette is that, at least in my opinion, each room feels open and full of energy and possibility. If you live in a small home, don’t be afraid to experiment with color to find a blend that makes it feel open and inviting. At least if you don’t like the color, the room is small enough so that repainting won’t take that long!

All in all, living small successfully means staying mindful of the physical objects you choose to live with. This mindfulness is, I believe, sorely lacking in today’s society. And many small home owners would say the same, including Weaver.

“I think it does make you think about what you can get by on,” Weaver says. “That you don’t need a bunch of stuff to be happy. There’s something of value in knowing that you can get by on living with less.”

We won’t stop

pexels-photo-270968.jpeg

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/may/03/sex-a-key-part-of-life-for-people-over-65-study-says

Arthritis and   angina won’t  stop me
I’ll have a sex life till I’m ninety three
I’ll take a mini aspirin and  trust luck
For I feel like I need a total shock

I’m sure we’ll find a posture we can use
If I lie down then you can suck my toes
If you need many kisses just keep still
I feel I can give fifty with good will

We’ll have to go to Pilates and gym
If we’re not married,will it be a sin?
I feel it keep my elan high  to  care
For a nice man who wants to  brush my hair

And then we must keep clean to be prepared
In case  we get a chance to all unbare
So it  is good to keep us in the flow
People come and sometimes have to go

I’ll keep  my GNT beside the bed
To olive oil  and perfume I am led.~
And we can use a waterproof or two
To keep the mattress dry as I love you.

Incontinence will mortify the shy
As from their body water seems to fly
But do not fear the shame will be the end
Don’t give up  unless you cannot bend.

Two stiff old  people smiling in their bed
Was it for this that we on dew  were fed?
See us drink our tea from china mugs.
In Hartlepoole we drank tea  from pot jugs

On Teesside people speak a different tongue
So we can swear while singing a love song
Noone understands the  Viking lore
Light a fire and I’ll reveal much more

Unusual new words

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https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/explore/weird-and-wonderful-words/

A few I chose

astrobleme an eroded remnant of a large, ancient crater made by the impact of a meteorite or comet
Attic salt refined, incisive wit
autotomy the casting off of a limb or other part of the body by an animal under threat, such as a lizard
badmash Indian a hooligan
bandoline a sticky preparation used for setting hair
bardolatry humorous excessive admiration of Shakespeare (‘the Bard of Avon’)
Barmecide illusory or imaginary and therefore disappointing
barn burner N. Amer. a very exciting or dramatic event, especially a sports contest; first used of an exceptionally good hand at bridge.
bashment W. Indian a large party or dance
bawbee Scottish a coin of low value
benthos the flora and fauna on the bottom of a sea or lake
bergschrund a type of crevasse
bezoar a small hard, solid mass which may form in the stomachs of animals such as goats or sheep
bibliopole a person who buys and sells books, especially rare ones
bichon frise a breed of toy dog with a fine, curly white coat
bilboes an iron bar with sliding shackles, used to fasten prisoners’ ankles
bindlestiff N. Amer. a tramp
bingle Austral. informal a collision
blatherskite a person who talks at great length without making much sense
bleeding edge the very forefront of technological development
blind pig N. Amer. informal a place where alcoholic drinks are sold illegally
bobsy-die

For your dinner

cow-pasture-animal-almabtrieb.jpgFried orange rind with duck’s legs and whispers of potato
Speckled eggs in the cup with Turkish pudding and  bastard
Lemon fried soles and heels on brown lice with green ballet
Yorkshire pudding in union flag and  postures
Pick your own pig and we will slaughter in  immediately.You pay.
Unknown meat in thick gravy and sprouting greetings

Pay with real money and we give you real food

 

Chance of love

Out of all the people on this earth
Is it merely chance that I loved you?
Who can tell me what my love was worth?

My  haunted aunt, afflicted by a curse,
Married someone cruel and was so blue
So are  many people on this earth.

Out of love we hope there will be birth
A child, a poem a thought, a clue
Who dares tell me what my love was worth?

Love must surely tempered be  by mirth
And for me this  is  is  now overdue
As for many people on this earth.

Now I wander random  on these paths
Am I seeking you or someone new?
Who  shall tell me what my love is worth?

As the grass is wetted with the dew
So my tears ran  softly over you
Out of all the people on this earth
Why  do  strangers ask   me for love’s worth

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Royal Wedding

A British celebration comes in May
The month not politician rest assured,
A wedding  Royal , a love and its display

Remember kind  Diana and the Play
She  gave her little sons  her love mature
A British celebration comes in May

Why do they give no workers’ holiday?
The souls of politicians are impure
A wedding  Royal , a love and its display

We might have had a party and felt gay
The   entire street united, not so sour
A British celebration comes in May

Those who hate the Royals can go away
No enforced watching must  these men endure
A wedding  Royal , a love and its display

For unconscious racists, conscious cure
Meghan helps us all with sweet allure
A wedding  Royal ,a lasting love displayed
A world wide celebration comes in May

Contemporary love poems

For What Binds Us

There are names for what binds us:
strong forces, weak forces.
Look around, you can see them:
the skin that forms in a half-empty cup,
nails rusting into the places they join,
joints dovetailed on their own weight.
The way things stay so solidly
wherever they’ve been set down—
and gravity, scientists say, is weak.

And see how the flesh grows back
across a wound, with a great vehemence,
more strong
than the simple, untested surface before.
There’s a name for it on horses,
when it comes back darker and raised: proud flesh,

as all flesh
is proud of its wounds, wears them
as honors given out after battle,
small triumphs pinned to the chest-

And when two people have loved each other
see how it is like a
scar between their bodies,
stronger, darker, and proud;
how the black cord makes of them a single fabric
that nothing can tear or mend.