In Bedzin and in Krakow they breathed in
What they denied in conscious thought or word.
The ashes of the Jews, the shades of skin

Penetrating lungs so deep within
The dead  unburied mixed, in air secured
In Bedzin and in Krakow, mortal sin.

The nearby people turned to burial urns.
The human dust by  breathing was allured
The ashes of the Jews, the shades of skin.

So  Europe took their human ash within.
A graveyard we became unknown, impure.
In Bedzin and in Krakow, more of sin.

And who they thought destroyed  lived on in them
Controlled their lungs, their hearts  their minds uncured,
The ashes of the Jews,  borne in their skin.

Like a mass communion without words
We ate and breathed the Jews, the gays, unheard
In Bedzin and in Krakow  we walked in
The ashes of the lost, the glades of skin

My doctor is God
Why can’t he heal you then?
I don’t believe in him
Make the leap of faith
Which direction?



God is my doctor
Where did he train?
He did not train
Good, he can’t charge you

The doctor wants a urine sample
I hope it’s a random one
Stop showing off
What’s the problem?
My bladder is full
Well,empty it
I can’t find the key
Are you deranged
If I were I could not reply
Thank you


The doctor wants to take my temperature
Where to?
Maybe the oven

The doctor says it’s a systemic infection
Can’t he install a new system in you ?
Like a plumber?


He wants me to take it easy
Fake it.

He talks in paragraphs
No, you idiot, parables!
I mean paragraphs and sentences
We don’t need those for oral communication
Well,I’m blessed.That’s brilliant

My doctor is very odd
Get even with him somehow
I can’t harm him
Then arm yourself

Are numbers very odd?
Yes, the odd ones are even odder than the even ones
No wonder you are a geek

Are doctors real?
Yes, if you think they are

Are doctors useful?
They are necessary but not sufficient

Do doctors understand patients
No, only statistics
Are they vital?
Definitely

Paying Attention with Simone Weil

For Weil, attention (attention) means to suspend thinking, leaving one’s mind detached, empty, ready to be entered by the other.  Attention means not always trying to know, not categorizing, but waiting, as though the other could participate in forming the idea we have of it.  “Attention is the highest and purest form of generosity.”  Attention is the opposite of a thought that has seized upon some idea too hastily, and thinks it knows (Weil, Reflections, pp 48-49).  For Weil, attention requires self-emptying.  

A silence rich with love and filledl with joy;
The silence after waking at the dawn,
May be both  anchor and a steady buoy 

Yet often we don’t know what we seek for:
The latest dress, the perfect English lawn?
We forget this marvellous essence, full of joy

We murder by ignoring  love’s own core
We do not see the buds which are new born.
We want an anchor yet we want our toys.

What is most arresting is the awe
We feel when we survive deep grief again
Find  silence rich with love and full of joy

Out of Nature, its Creator calls
Taking in her arms what caused us pain.
Being both an anchor and a buoy.

The silence underneath the silence calms,
Stills our breathing with reviving balm
Perfect silence rich with love and  joy
Shall be our an anchor and shall be our buoy.

I sometimes do go out it is a treat
Your number was witheld on my smartphone
I thought that it was spam,I did not speak
Now it’s like we’re vultures on a bone

I’d been with a widow who went mad
Threatening to hang herself again
Or gas herself like poor old Sylvia did
I know too well the anguish and the pain

When I came in I found my ansafone
Full of messages you left that afternoon
You thought that I was loth to hear your moans
Immediately would not have been too soon

You answered saying that you wished to die
The pain you have was too much to be borne
I understand your expression was no lie
The agony that comes before the dawn

But now you don’t believe that I went out
Of my ill intentions you don’t doubt
You think that I was feeling full of scorn
Taking sadists’ pleasure from you torn

I know we all want help with our deep pain
Making threats too often is insane

You don’t like to see my face so wet
Tears annoy you, though you are now dead
My eyes look like a jelly that won’t set
You don’t like to see my face so wet
What a pity that we ever met
Decoding faces like an alphabet
Why don’t you leave my messages unread?
You don’t like to see my face so wet
Tears annoy you, once alive now dead

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/humiliate

Definition of humiliate

transitive verb: to reduce (someone) to a lower position in one’s own eyes or others’ eyes : to make (someone) ashamed or embarrassed : MORTIFYhoped they wouldn’t humiliate themselves in their next gameaccused her of humil

 May 7, 2019

Eeh, it were right crackin’ at school t’day
Wot wur thi sayin’ this time?
Thi said wi can do Greek next year
Ye’re not doin’ Greek
Why not,our Mam
Ye can’t even spek English
Why,  am I not canny enough?
No, we don’t spek English eether
Well, ye shud a thought eh that before y’ad me
Ye mean only  people with BBC eksents can bear childern?
Well, we reckoned if we learnt English we’d lose our desire
F’wat, Mam
F’ that! Ye know… It, ye get what ah mean
No,Mam.Can ye not spell it our a bit more?
Spell it out, t’dad would tan me hide!
Still he must a dunnit,Mam
I dunno, it wer dark.Mebbe it wer the cat, ah thought
Surely the cat’s not mi  dad, is  he?
It weren’t this cat, it wer another called Billy.
Well, how come ah’m human?
You think ye’re human, but  am telling ye,ye got  t’cat’s eyes
Just his eyes? How abaht his whiskers
Don’t be so daft, our Kath,Ye’ve got his hair
But only on my head so far.Willa bi changin’ into a cat as ah mature?
Wi’ll have te wait and see.Put ‘t kettle on.We need some tea.
Why, what difference will that make now.I’m a cat,I’m a cat…. oh, what’ll  ‘et nuns say  ‘et Convent when ah tellum?
You keep away from ‘et Convent~
Why, our Mam?
Do as I tell you.Never confide in a nun
Well,Ah shan’t let ‘et cat fettle me.Ah’m not that daft
Well, yi can’t do Greek and that’s final
Kyrie Eleison,Kyrie Eleison
Wot’s that?
Oh, nothin’ at all
Christie Horizon
For God’s sake speak English!

Why did Dad die,our Mam? Did God need ‘im, Mam? What for?
Oh,be quiet our Kathryn an’ stop blatherin’ an’ ‘arpin’ on at mi like that…Am tired mekkin’ ye dinner an’ tea an’ our Annie’s comin’ too
Will we have petato cakes?
Y’ll have nowt if ye keep on yappin’
.But, mam,I like talkin’. Why don’t you like it, mam?
Curiousity killed et cat.
No,mam it was you.You sent for’t man from Vernon Street and ‘ad the cat took
Now, stop tellin’ lies and do the washin’ up.
Am not tellin’ lies…A saw it
Ye’r a very naughty girl.. I’ll slap ye if ye don’t shut ye trap now
.Oh,Mam, don’t ‘it me.
Well,shurrup then.. do as yer told.. be a good girl.
Awlright,Mam.Shall A wash up fe ye?
That’s right, yer a gud girl really.
Just behave yerself and keep quiet.Ye nearly grown up now.A’ll show ye ‘ow to knit socks soon.. yr 9 now aren’t ye?
I am,mam.Am a big girl
An’ ye brain’s too big…. go and mop the steps now and put the white stone on… it’ll be the toilet next.Clean it before Mi Dad comes
Why,mam?
He thinks it were a waste a money.
Well,I love it,Mam.I hated looking down the other one.
So that’s where you were!
When?

Oh,doctor I am in a flap I cannot turn this childproof cap I cannot take my medicine So I shall toss it in the bin The beta blockers make me down I am in a study brown. The mini aspirins make me bruise And my mind is quite confused. The ibuprofen hurt my heart Yet without one I cannot start. The thyroxine has no effect So now I feel my life is dreck. The codeine fails to make me high I’m not addicted, though I try. I’ll have to take a shot of gin And alcohol will make me sin . I’ll go to parties in a dress That makes men’s hormones more or less. I’ll take a big one home with me, And give him poison in his tea. And when I am in jail at last I’ll feel remorse for all my past. For as I suffer dreadful pain God has hit me yet again. It’s not enough that I go blind And suffer terrors in my mind Not enough that lovers cruel Give me stick instead of jewels. Or maybe life does not make sense Especially when we feel too tense. Maybe random are my days and my life has gone astray. I think that I shall buy a cat And love it tenderly and chat. But if my cat gives me a scratch.. I’ll light its tail up with a match. All the world must me obey Else I’ll be enraged all day. I want my own way all the time. Other people must conform. I am here and full of ills What do you think of these blue pills? If they take away my heart That at least will be a start. Then they can remove my brain To help me with this damned pain. Why not kill me right away Then I’ll be from pain astray?

God designed our organs very well
Bu if we touched them we would go to Hell
Unless we married in a Catholic Church
God would beat us with a Silver Birch
The Bishop said that Tampons were a sin
No longer were we virginal within
We must not let a man know when we bled
We burned the towels before we went to bed
Yet Hitler was a Catholic like BoJo
What Carrie did then, noone else can know
Excommunication was a threat
Underneath the arches there’s no debt
God is watching everything I do
Ask him where I left my other shoe
What a shame he can’t talk to us folk
Still we have the Bible, pas the Coke.

The still small choice
Samsung and Delilah
If only Eve had not bought an iPhone
Yahoo punished Adam severely
Was Asus the son of God too?
God said, why are you here, you liar?
Elijah invented Intel,computers and chips. but not pizza
G-d on trial in Google Dock
I’ll be judge and I’ll be jury,said cunning old Fury
I have seen the Light on Google Drive
The Cloud of Unknowing is not a good place to save your poetry on.
He filed me under “wonder” on One Drive
One Drive,One G-d, One World
Where is Ogle Drive?
Yeshua did many lyricals.He was Leonard Cohen,we have found
Go over to Rome and be saved into the Angelic Host
He did raise my spirits but he didn’t say how many.

Killed by maxi-dress?

A hardworking internet writer fell over the hem of her dress while getting onto the downward escalator at Warren St tube station.
Her last words:“Should have gone to Foyles.

1 Do not stop your car to read this sign.
2. If you can’t read this sign get your eyes tested~unless you are illiterate
3 This sign is not here till further notice
4.This sign is here but don’t look at it
5.This sign was paid for with your council tax
6 This sign is not an omen.Evil is already here
7 Criminals reading this sign, please call the police
8 There are no signs till the other side if Hardknott Pass.Good luck
9 Please do not touch this sign unless it is in braille
10.If you can’t read this sign, phone 999.
11 Don’t read this unless there is a traffic jam
12 Signs washed daily by hand.Do not report as garbage
13 Thank you for respecting our signs.
14 Please do not fall off the pavement

The apples fly like petals in a gale.
The trees rock and I fear the trunks may break.
The weather in these months has been debauched.
I muse here on what’s Nature and what’s Fate.
An apple tree can live for many years.
Each summer brings the white complicit bloom.
Yet sometimes comes a hurricane that tears
And ends this green and gracious life too soon.
We,like trees, are wantonly destroyed.
Winds sweep in from strange and foreign seas.
The shock may bring us down whilst we still fruit.
Yet mourners one day all of us shall be.
Whilst we live, let’s open hard, closed hearts.
So in anger or in hate we shall not part

   Sometimes I had my eye too close to the keyhole.  
  Pulled there by some force like gravity.  
  I was gazing with a sharp but narrow focus
    into what I thought was the real. 
   But the precision of my gaze
    left out the surroundings,
the other doors and rooms 
   that  I might have inhabited.
  As he came to me and opened his arms with no rancour,
so my eyes opened wider
I took in the new wide vision   
and left my crouched and aching position
    no longer attached like a magnet to your force,
    He was there with his sea eyes. 
   He knew the human condition 
   And how to inhabit a  conversation.
    Of course he’d had his wounds
but never failed to feel    for himself and others.
    In the night he went through in his mind’s eye
the faces  of his friends;holding them ,
like he’d once held fragile rose buds
    when we were married,
    and asked silently for grace.
    The keyhole no longer seemed important
   I suppose narrowing the focus can keep out knowledge of pain
..    But the pain is atill there; 
   I have always loved the word “Acknowledge.”   
And now I use it. I acknowledge this pain

Some days are sad and blue
And then we feel lonely too;
Or we cause rifts.

Some days are doldrum days.
Some days are like bad plays.
Not such a gift.

Most days have joyful parts.
Most days we lift our hearts.
They pass all too swift.

Some days love speaks to me.
Some days I feel so free.
I love my craft.

Life is a patterned weave.
Love helps us when we grieve.
Love is a raft.

See how the sun comes back.
See how light fills the gaps..
Some days we laugh.

Weep now and I’ll weep with you.
I have known sorrow too.
Yet sorrow will pass.

Joy is not far away.
Joy will return one day….
Life’s art and craft

Is what I make  original and new?
Can  Imagination   rise and fly for me
To   recreate the glory   this child knew?

Who lit the candle flame that brought me view?
Who opened up my inner eye to see?
Is what I make  original and new?

We birth into a culture others grew
We´ŕe part of all,  responsible and  free: ./unsure of this line
Oh,   recreate that glory children knew

We make music with our voices too
The ram ś horn  or the string/ed lute make plea
Is what we make  original and new?

The charcoal on the paper is a clue
I sail  with wonder on my  inner sea
Oh,  recreate the glory children  knew

Oh,God , oh eye,  have mercy upon me
Oh God, the voice, the hand , the touch, save me:             I l
Is what I make  of worth and pattern new?
To create , to live , must  we know Calvary?

Eton broke up on July the Third
Theyŕe selling pieces set by William Byrd
Put one in the garden, that looks posh
Maybe we need a bottle of whitewash

State schools finish nearly 3 weeks on
Who has got the nuclear waste and bomb?
Do you want your child to be well taught?
Should we have to pay when we have naught?

The Forest of the Amazon is done
All good things will end and we´ĺl be gone
Wisdom has been left out of our thoughts
Certain things are never sold or bought

Now we see the Eton Club are safe
Jesus wept and Noah dug a grave

KatherineThinkings and poems  May 9, 2015 

He was a picky person with a penchant for piss artistry
He liked to excite women with his studied impropriety.
He often went to bed with a woman of society
Then she would be troubled by her sudden notoriety.

As demanding as a pigeon with one eye and no stability;
Although he had been gifted with a wide range of abilities.
He always told the truth in a manner Jesuitical
It gave rise to deep wounds and to curious thoughts inimical.

He read between the lines and fantasised romantically
He knew his Greek and Latin and corrected folk pedanticly.
He liked to drink ripe brandy and practise tantric gallantry.
Until it led to arguments and words fired off too frantically.


He said he felt real lonesome even when he was in intimacy
Wished he’d never bothered to lose his youth’s virginity
He did too much for others and got stressed out accidentally
Until his control broke and he lashed out unimaginatively


So now he is in prison and finds it suits him perfectly.
He was made to be a hermit and he lives his life less jerkily.
All he misses now are sweet ladies so well loved by men…
He wonders,can they be jailed,share his cell and comfort him?

The child is father to the man
The duck is father to the swan
Inverted,tortured, where to go
The rain is frozen into snow

Once we were a little egg
Looking for a sperm with legs
The winner will enchant like God
Till both are one, in their soft bed

While we work or shock by oath
We´re unaware of inner growth
So drink a glass of cider now
Welcome,welcome, we shall bow

Every child is full of grace
Until by governement erased
When once we lived close to the earthI
In burning towers the poor give birth

Little flats far to the East
Those unemployed are shamed like beasts
Yet their children are of God
Ne´ér to Eton shall they tread

Those who rule shall be come slaves
Satan waits beside their graves
Down in hell they shovel coal
To be rebuked for all they stole

Then they see the light and pray
God forgive our wicked ways
Sin will bring its own reward
From Heaven the wicked are self-barred

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45536/ode-intimations-of-immortality-from-recollections-of-early-childhood

There was a time when meadow, grove, and stream,
       The earth, and every common sight,
                          To me did seem
                      Apparelled in celestial light,
            The glory and the freshness of a dream.
It is not now as it hath been of yore;—
                      Turn wheresoe’er I may,
                          By night or day.
The things which I have seen I now can see no more

When strangers ask for photos of you nude
Or wearing clothes so scanty they’ll go blind
Let them see your feet without their shoes

Let them see your twisted toes turn blue
Let them see the bunions God designed
When strangers ask for photos rather rude

Can one solve a crossword with no clues?
Can one have no bosom and look fine?
Can they love your feet without cute shoes?

When you’re feeling sad and life is blue
When you long for love but not divine
When gentlemen want photos somewhat crude

Try to sell them on the Evening News
Take the veil or drink the Altar Wine
Let them kiss your feet without their shoes

When you’re looking for the hidden signs
Don’t read numbers settlers left behind
When strangers ask for photos, give them clues
Let them wash your feet but make them queue

I will spare you an image of my feet.As a GP once said:you are deformed

You can buy shoe stretchers
You may be able to remove the insole which gices more spae

To stretch shoes pour some boiling water in, empty and put your foot inside [ if the house is warm
That will help

Alternatively, put in as many rolled up sheets of newspaper as you can and push them well down.Leave to dry

Fold the shoe in half backwards and put a heavy weight on top.This makes a difference

All of these methods may disfigure the shoes slightly but at least you can wear them