Why did he wed

It’s absolute bliss
When you give me kiss
Let’s do it some more
I’d like twenty four

He fears being to close
He finds it gross
Why did he wed?
He liked a big bed

I like your new eyes
Your wisdom defies
What on earth do you mean?
Have you not seen?

oh,tender affection
It grows, but don’t mention
Zion was a dream
That ends with a scream

It was a new metaphor
What did they need it for?
An image may hypnotise
The main notion dies

Jerusalem the colony
Accept my apology
The zone of a war
Do we need any more?

Cain was a brother
The son of his mother
Abel was better
Killed, what a bugger

The bulbs of strife

What a lovely enragement ring you have on your finger
It looks like a knucle buster

When were you married?
During the ceremony

Do you have joint account?
Only arthritis

Does he give you house creeping money?
He says I can do it in bare feet

Who buys the food?
What makes you think we buy it?
You have cooked your goose now!
But one tyres off it

I see your mind is addled
Like eggs are coddled?
They break when cuddled
Let’s be more hard boiled.
I can’t face boiling water
How do you make tea?
Behind me
How dangerous!
I might need medication that’s not been invented yet
With this Government so will we all

You can see Calais from Deal
Are you trying to change the topic?
No, just the light bulb
The Dutch had to eat bulbs in 1944/45
Surely not light bulbs?
Swallowed whole, they take away that gnawing hunger
Then you die.
Well, yes,I guess you are right
Audrey Hepburn was Dutch
She ate tulip bulbs,I think
At least she survived
She was always slender
Shall we go ona bender?
Take the transcender
That’s a mistake
Did you think it should be gender?
Sex and gender confuse the agenda
Who are the Agenda?
The police,you pretender
A special brigade
Maybe it’s trade

Saucepan in love


Oh, copper pan with silver lined
Now  your status exceeds mine
You are the best, the supreme pan
And I am a  mere, an also-ran.

I am made of stainless steel
So I don’t know  how to feel
But copper  has a warmth sublime
I wonder if you will be mine?

I’ll stand beside you on the shelf
And spin around, beside myself.
My heart is full, my mind is too
Won’t you tell me what to do?

Would you like a wedding dress
And a Rabbi there to bless?
Or an Imam or the Pope
He seems a really pleasant bloke

I am Jewish but do not need
To marry pans of  the same creed
I do  like some variety
Copper pan, please look at me!

Don’t reject me far too swift
I am easily dismissed
But stainless steel is very strong
Don’t  make me wait and think too long.

I may descend to paranoia!
I’m being watched by the chip fryer.
Let me feel  your copper form
That will  make me safe and warm

To be fried in boiling oil
The notion makes my soul recoil
Please forgive my  etiquette
I am polite till I forget

Morning before

Do you sell a morning before pill?
No, you’ll have to wait till tomorrow
But I shan’t see him till the weekend
Seeing some one won’t make you pregnant but if it goes further buy
a thermometer
He’s not that hot!
It’s for the safe period
That’s a full stop
Till you get married
What has punctuation got to do with sex?
Do you put a full stop after Ms?
I’ll think about it
Fantasy is safer than reality
But I might go crazy
That’s the drawback
Oh, for God’s sake give me some barrier cream
Why,do you wash up a lot?
How do you make a living when you won’t sell me anything?
That’s a good point

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