When Moses climbed the mountain
And he got to the top,
God was waiting for him,
He didn’t say a lot.
He said, Take my commandments
They are written on this stone,
I have only fifty,
Or was it fifty one?
Moses was very worried
~about the human race.
Fifty one commandments
Would meet with strong distaste.
So he told God his troubles
And God thought long and hard.
He came back with the commandments
Written on a card.
How many have you got there?
Moses politely said?
I’ve got it down to ten, said God.
His eyes were very red.
So Moses took the postcard
And put it on his pad.
He said I’d better get back down.
Oh, and thank you Dad!
When Moses got to earth
He called his people near.
He produced his i Pad.
Look what I’ve got here!
I saw God on the mountain.
He gave me a few rules.
They’re easy to remember.
We are not moral fools.
How many of these rules
Has God given to you?
I got it down to ten.
Let’s see how we can do.
Ten is far too many,
Some of the people cried.
We don’t want these rules.
We hate to feel we’re tied.
But all games have their rules.
They’re what define the game.
If we had utter chaos
This loss would be a shame.
As pictures have their frames,
And lessons have strict times.
We need some good constructions,
Like poems need their rhymes.
So all his people heard him.
And they agreed to try.
They lived as best they could
Until they came to die.
But one part of this story
We will never know–
What were all those commandments
That Moses did not show?
And why did God give in
To Moses’ bargain plea?
Do not ask for Moses,
We don’t know where he be

The Bible as remembered when drunk

The still small choice
Samsung and Delilah
If only Eve had not bought an iPhone
Yahoo punished Adam severely
Was Asus the son of God too?
God said, why are you here, you liar?
Elijah invented Intel,computers and chips. but not pizza
G-d on trial in Google Dock
I’ll be judge and I’ll be jury,said cunning old Fury
I have seen the Light on Google Drive
The Cloud of Unknowing is not a good place to save your poetry on.
He filed me under “wonder” on One Drive
One Drive,One G-d, One World
Where is Ogle Drive?
Yeshua did many lyricals.He was Leonard Cohen,we have found
Go over to Rome and be saved into the Angelic Host
He did raise my spirits but he didn’t say how many.

Signs may be omens

Photo by Nina Uhlu00edkovu00e1 on

1 Do not stop your car to read this sign.
2. If you can’t read this sign get your eyes tested~unless you are illiterate
3 This sign is not here till further notice
4.This sign is here but don’t look at it
5.This sign was paid for with your council tax
6 This sign is not an omen.Evil is already here
7 Criminals reading this sign, please call the police
8 There are no signs till the other side if Hardknott Pass.Good luck
9 Please do not touch this sign unless it is in braille
10.If you can’t read this sign, phone 999.
11 Don’t read this unless there is a traffic jam
12 Signs washed daily by hand.Do not report as garbage
13 Thank you for respecting our signs.
14 Please do not fall off the pavement