I regret nothing

Don’t send me an apron for Xmas
When all that I want is a glove
A glove for the oven
Its hands must be frozen
Let’s drown the old oven in love.

Don’t send me a card on my birthday
I cannot remember your name
Just bake me a cake
I prefer it to steak
Don’t limp unless you are lame


Don’t change the sheets every week,dear
For washing them makes them wear thin
Just give me a brush
I’ll beat off the fluff
Then we can both have some fun

Don’t give me bacon for breakfast
God won’t let Jews eat it yet
His aversion to swine
Is what makes him divine
The fig tree
is dead I regret

Tea with brandy

Photo by Anderson Martins on Pexels.com

As Mary put her navy blue peacoat on over her red dress and grabbed her red bag she saw the cab arrive.
Bye,Emile,she called before locking the front door
She got to the Podiatry Clinic early.Just as well since only three of the chairs were in use
Soon her name was called and a calm yet warm young woman called Emma told her where to sit
Oh,dear.You are unlucky.You have Celtic feet,Emma murmured
It’s not bad luck, it’s because 5 of my great grandparents were Celtic, Mary lectured her
But they were all dead when I was born, possibly due to the Famine in Ireland
Well, at least they had children.
How do you know that?
You are descended from them
My, how clever you are.I never thought of that before
Do you have children,Emma enquired
Well,I did lose at least one in Spain near Malaga
Goodness,can’t you get in touch now?How old were they?
I guess about 3 months old so no doubt they fell into the Mediterranean sea.
Miaooooooooooow!Miaooooooooaaaaaaaw.Boo hooooooooo
Emma nearly passed out.
What on earth is that?
Mary opened her bag and there sat Emile crying copiously
Emile, how did you get into my bag?
You left the zip open and I was looking for a mask.Then you suddenly fastened it
Mary gave him a tissue to dry his tears.
I felt so distraught when you said your unborn babies died,I could not stay quiet
Emma said, you must put a mask on and I am not going to even look at your paws
Why not?
The NHS is for humans, she smiled graciously, if not superciliously
Well,Mary, you must let me examine your other foot
Which?
Well,you only have two, I hope!
Mary carried her red bag into the Waiting Room.
Hello,she said into her phone.Can you send a cab to take me home
MeToo ,yelled Emile
What the bleeding hell is that?
Don’t worry, it’s just my cat.Will I have to pay extra?
Not if he sits on your knee
Thanks, said Mary,
She and Emile sat looking through the glass door
Well, this made a change,he purred.I like Emma
MeToo cried Mary as she saw the car stop outside
Home and some Twinings Tea
With brandy, called Emile
And so wish all of us