I could not own my grief

The moment that they told me he was gone
I knew I never more would be at one.
The guilt  is bad, the shame is harder still
That I no longer am  what I would will

That I did not perceive the   your state of mind
That to your heart I seemed to have been blind
That I was not enough to keep you here
That life and death most grievous are  so near

Then  shamed by my emotions I withdrew
Into the prison cell  that no-one knew
My soul was  pierced , I could not own my grief
 Limp, submissive , blown away, a leaf.

Shame is deadly, unexposed to speech
With reddened face and   faltering voice I weep

The blocked grief was a stone

The grief that was a stone inside my chest
Has melted into water,now my tears
That rain upon my face, that feel like death

Is human life a lesson with its tests?
Must people walk with anguish down the years?
The grief weighed like a boulder in my chest

God did not evoke the fierce Tempest
His still small voice will whispers in the ear
The rain runs down my face, I hate love’s death

I rage against the fever,give me rest
The little whisper tells me,do not fear
The grief stood like a boulder on my chest

The Dove flies on the current of God’s breath
My shrouded eyes are wet, how is Love dear
That rains upon my face, that feel like death

From the cliff top I saw white walls sheer
I shall not go again,my mind is clear
The blocked grief was a stone inside my chest
It turned to tears, yet still I feel love’s dea