When strangers ask for photos of you nude Or wearing clothes so scanty they’ll go blind Let them see your feet without their shoes
Let them see your twisted toes turn blue Let them see the bunions God designed When strangers ask for photos rather rude
Can one solve a crossword with no clues? Can one have no bosom and look fine? Can they love your feet without cute shoes?
When you’re feeling sad and life is blue When you long for love but not divine When gentlemen want photos somewhat crude
Try to sell them on the Evening News Take the veil or drink the Altar Wine Let them kiss your feet without their shoes
When you’re looking for the hidden signs Don’t read numbers settlers left behind When strangers ask for photos, give them clues Let them wash your feet but make them queue
He kept his tongue in his cheek too long so he couldn’t eat Starved to death
She had her head screwed on the wrong way Lack of light
He wouldn’t wear his glasses so fell down a well Unconscious suicidal wish or vanity led to error
She wore shoes that were too small and developed 100 untreated corns Died of stupidity or poverty
His brain got stuck on the underground as his head fell off his body. The glueless disease
She wore a yellow bikini on the beach which attracted a lot of wasps Need I say more? Died fighting as men wept
She was baking bread but got into the oven and was roasted with a potato Bad luck.Only do one thing at a time Died of hyperactivity and lack of concentration
He was writing a blog post and got sad as it seemed too poor Then he drowned his sorrows [ and himself
He got chilblains which stopped him from walking so his blood froze
Verdict: Bad weather and lack of housing
Arthritis made her so stiff we put her into a coffin and accidentally buried her Verdict-Misadventure and human error
She fell over the cat and hit her head on the fridge Verdict? Misfortune as skull too thin
She got off a moving bus as the doors opened Verdict: Died of conceit