
From the archives

Why do bras have 2 cups?
Because nobody uses saucers now!
Why do men wear briefs?
So they won’t lose them on the way to the Court
Why do women not wear skirts?
So we can rate their bottoms as their tops are brief and their leggings too tight
And their stockings are invisible even when darned
Are you pulling my leg?
I can’t even see it.
You could still touch it
May I?
Not here,we’ll be on the News
Then where?
In the bath
There may be a hidden camera
Who wants to see people in the bath?
The Russians.
For blackmail?
Can you blackmail by email?
Better use voicemail
How clever you are
Bedankt voor ye briefke
Fire and Ice
W
I dreamed of you last night, you wore a smile
Fifty years ago you took your life
And left me for the agony, the trial
Since then I’ve had no vision but denial
Your face was absent,cut out by a knife
I dreamed of you last night, your little smile
There was no motive, we had never quarreled
I was blinded, nervous and too shy
You left to me the agony, the trial
Who consoles the woman left in horror?
Sickly on my lonely bed I lay
I dreamed of you last night, you wore a smile
In my view, I could not see tomorrow
Through my suffering I did try to pay
You left to me the agony, the trial
The grief of fifty years came out today
Oh, lay down, baby, lay down, baby, lay
I dreamed that you were here, your face. your smile
You console me now poor lovers reconciled