How to hurt yourself

Photo by Adi Perets on

Never check to see how hot the bath water is
Always change your own lightbulbs especially if you have vertigo
Always put your rubbish out after dark, particularly if you can’t see well
Never put tools away
Put the kettle on the fire just before going upstairs for a short rest
If you have no fire, put the kettle on the gas stove & forget to light the gas
Always wait till you are worn out before changing the sheets
Wash your hair in very hot water.NO!
Use all the mugs you own before washing any, then drop a pile on your foot
Use a knife to eat your cereal
Keep snakes as pets and always forget to put them in their box at night
Keep a shark in your pond
Keep lots of cats and let them sleep with you or close the door and get insomnia from their wailing

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