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As all too soon each little day is done
February 17, 2017
I sat on your old wall to see the sun
The wall is cold and makes my rear end chill
And all too soon each little day is done

The day is ending and I ‘ve not yet begun
To do my writing , let my mind be still
I sat on your old wall in winter sun

If we were younger we might have more fun
We must allow now what we cannot will
As all too soon each little day is done

Must we finish what we have begun?
We gazed at rampant water by the mill.
I sat on this old wall in winter sun

As a woman, I can love a man
Then to their rest with singing I may lull
As all too soon each little day is done

Today my heart with love is very full
And happy tears my features like to swill
I sat on your stone wall to eye the sun
As all too soon each little day is done

6

Heil , O Johnson liar and right wing crook
I wonder what they’ll write about you next
As you dictate to us,will we be hooked?

The Germans knew their leader wrote a book
You may send out vitriol by text.
Heil , O Johnson, liar and right wing crook

You do not care, you lie as we onlook
You play Big Brother, wearing Hitler’s vest
When you dictate to us,will we be hooked?

Have you come to power just by a fluke?
We hope the coming weeks will prove a test
Heil , O Johnson ,liar and right wing crook

Whatever words you say, they will be cooked
You rich men plunder, in the sinking West
When you dictate to us, will we be hooked?

You play upon the panic and unrest
The best of our goodwill ‘s already wrecked
Heil , O Caesar Johnson liar and crook
As you smiled and cheated. we just looked

If we phone someone but when they answer the phone they’re sound as anxious or distressed what should we do do?

We might think that when we phone omeone we can start telling them whatever is in our minds.

but there are two aspects to such a meeting. There is a conversation that you expect you to have and then there is a context that on your phone we can’t see the person or sends had a feeling so so you need to pay attention to tnh should usually say is this a good time to talk. But when you can hear distress you should say somethin

unless it’s a business call.

You could say

Would you like to tell me about it or would you prefer me to ring you in a few days?

Sometimes they are in extreme distress you may need to go around and visit if your relationship is close If that’d that is impossible you might ask them have you got any friends nearby that you can ask to come round? Or would you like me to call someone to ask them to visit you?

We can’t just stop talking to someone without being aware it might not be a good time or or they may be going through a bad patch. If they’re saying I don’t want to talk about it you must respect that.

You can try again in a few days

As many others have been cut off from contract with their family or friends during the pandemic it may be harder for people to start to talk;they may be feeling overwhelmed

If you are feeling very distressed it might be better to ring a kind family member or friends but do not make other phone calls while you are feeling like that unless it’s absolutely essential.

Who has never felt grief
When a small gesture would have helped
but it has ,unknowingly, been with held?
How many people have the imagination
to guess what's in your mind,
And to embrace you rather than push you away?
No-one,No-one.No-one knows.
No-one knows these numbers.
No-one knows these names.
No-one knows how many feel diffident,
Nor how many feel shame.

Being alive is joyful!
Being alive is pain!
Being alive is all we have,
We'll never be alive again.

I look into your eyes today
I sense your shame and woe.
I look into your eyes just now
And tell you that I know,

Being alive is lonely.
Being alive is good.
Being alive is pain indeed
For flesh is not like wood.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/07/well/live/adult-friendships-number.html

4

How can you tell if you need more friends?

While friendship research offers some benchmarks, it may be more useful for most of us to simply do a bit of soul-searching. Marisa Franco, a psychologist and author of the forthcoming book “Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends,” recommends starting with a fairly obvious but powerful question: Do I feel lonely?

“Loneliness is a sort of signal or alarm system,” Dr. Franco said. Everyone feels lonely from time to time, but this is a deeper question about whether you regularly feel left out or isolated. One recent survey suggested that roughly one in three Americans have experienced “serious loneliness” during the pandemic.

It also helps to ask yourself if there are parts of your identity that feel restricted, Dr. Franco said.

“Different people bring out 

Sometimes I envy the fallen leaves

Why should we live when we are bereaved?

Leaves can’t think or feel the loss

As on the compost heap they’re tossed

In the compost hedgehogs sleep

I cool them my little compost sheep

I know they have no wool or milk.

They won’t come in to lie on silk

How desperate can a widow be

I must go out and catch the flu

Shall I use a fishing rod?

I seek it here I seek it there

The virus doesn’t seem to care

Ill hang its head up on the wall

Let’s hope it doesn’t start to fall.

The Queen has stags and foxes wild

Thank God there’s no beheaded child

I am in the habit of speaking everyday

I don’t mind who I talk to but I must have my say

I can talk about mathematics

Or talk about Chinese

I just have to talk to you and I must get my way

Maybe you’re feeling tired maybe you’re feeling blue

But you are in my power and and you don’t have a clue.

I’ll tell you all my problems I’ll tell you all my pain

I feel I need to talk to you you again again again

Who is it I want to learn the emotions I can’t bear

I want to know that someone else will really truly care.

If you still reject me I feel the pain inside .

In my mind I see the names of everyone who’s died

I want to cry and grieve their loss it’s hard to do alone

I wish that you could be my friend I have no one I can phone

4Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity. —Saint Augustine

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/11/well/what-to-do-about-an-overtalker.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/04/magazine/ambivalence-ambivalent-definition.html

5prevention- and promotion-focused people.

Prevention people try to avoid loss: They’re cautious; they don’t want to make errors. Promotion people strive for accomplishments and see potential threats, including rejection, as challenges. Reich has become something of an evangelist for ambivalence in part because she thinks it can motivate people to be less fearful and more proactive. “We’re hoping to help prevention people use ambivalence to become promotion people,” she says.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/17/opinion/when-hate-leads-to-depression.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/02/health/resilience-learning-building-skills.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/22/your-money/learning-how-to-deal-with-the-haters.html

Deal with it. After you’ve done your best to simply brush the hate aside, the painful truth is that you’ll probably still find yourself bothered by the comments. When you find yourself at this “Level 4” pain, don’t be surprised that it still hurts. If you aren’t surprised, then you won’t be shocked. And if you’re not shocked, there’s a good chance you won’t be stopped from doing your really important work. It’s not going to make the hate less painful, but it will help you move forward.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/18/style/caring-joy.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/11/well/family/listening-relationships-marriage-closeness-communication-bias.html

6

finish!” “That’s not what I said!” After “I love you,” these are among the most common refrains in close relationships. During my two years researching a book on listening, I learned something incredibly ironic about interpersonal communication: The closer we feel toward someone, the less likely we are to listen carefully to them. It’s called the closeness-communication bias and, over time, it can strain, and even end, relationships.

Once you know people well enough to feel close, there’s an unconscious tendency to tune them out because you think you already know what they are going to say. It’s kind of like when you’ve traveled a certain route several times and no longer notice signposts and scenery.

But people are always changing. The sum of daily interactions and activities continually shapes us, so none of us are the same as we were last month, last week or even yesterday.

Continue reading the main story

https://11f1bd15051ece1020e12b48679f9c7f.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html

The closeness-communication bias is at work when romantic partners feel they don’t know each other anymore or when parents discover their children are up to things they never imagined.

It can occur even when two people spend all their time together and have many of the same experiences.

I’mKaleena Goldsworthy, 33, told me it was a shock when her identical twin, Kayleigh, decided to move to Ne

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/19/parenting/active-listening-communication-advice.html

Extract

During a conflict, people just want to be heard, said Robinson-Brown. “And being heard means that the other person values your feelings and thoughts, even if there is disagreement,” she said. “So simply listening to someone and then blowing past their statement, or not even acknowledging what they’ve said, can create feelings of invalidation, anger and sadness.”

Good listening means much more than keeping your mouth zipped. It’s a skill that is especially valuable during quarantine, which has strained even the hardiest of relationships. Data collected by Legal Templates, a company that provides legal documents, found that sales of their divorce agreement were 34 percent higher from March to June, compared to the same period in 2019.

“Oh, my consults have doubled,” sa