The phone is not our master

If we phone someone but when they answer the phone they’re sound as anxious or distressed what should we do do?

We might think that when we phone omeone we can start telling them whatever is in our minds.

but there are two aspects to such a meeting. There is a conversation that you expect you to have and then there is a context that on your phone we can’t see the person or sends had a feeling so so you need to pay attention to tnh should usually say is this a good time to talk. But when you can hear distress you should say somethin

unless it’s a business call.

You could say

Would you like to tell me about it or would you prefer me to ring you in a few days?

Sometimes they are in extreme distress you may need to go around and visit if your relationship is close If that’d that is impossible you might ask them have you got any friends nearby that you can ask to come round? Or would you like me to call someone to ask them to visit you?

We can’t just stop talking to someone without being aware it might not be a good time or or they may be going through a bad patch. If they’re saying I don’t want to talk about it you must respect that.

You can try again in a few days

As many others have been cut off from contract with their family or friends during the pandemic it may be harder for people to start to talk;they may be feeling overwhelmed

If you are feeling very distressed it might be better to ring a kind family member or friends but do not make other phone calls while you are feeling like that unless it’s absolutely essential.

I welcome comments and criticism

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