I emptied tomato sauce over my head,
Sent for the doctor and lay on my bed.
He spotted my hoax and ordered some curry
Thus encoated ,I now start to worry.
For, though a hoax ,it¹ betrayed real needs
I needed attention at record speed.
Surely an articulate woman like me
Can make to all a sensible plea.
Acting out is usually done
By those who privacy wish to shun.
But sometimes it’s tempting to throw a fit
And give the boot to our stiff upper lip
I recommend yoghurt and warm cherry pie
Spread it extensively round your eyes.
Call the doctor and say you’re hot
After all.who’s ever not?