Washing my hair with washing machine detergent.
Using colourless shoe polish instead of face cream.
Using frozen strawberries to color my lips.
Reading Sylvia Plath in bed.
Cutting my hair with the pinking sheers in summer.
Eating the cat’s biscuits.
Drinking tea from a beer tankard while reading the News.
Drinking beer in the bath.
Forgetting I am older than I was.
Having 67 handbags .
Having 54 mobile phones all on PAYG.
Polishing my nails.
Reading newspapers.
Ironing my bra.
Wearing a bra.
Wearing underwear in summer.
Going paddling in the sea with my frock tucked up my knicker legs.
Drinking tea from a flask instead of going to a cafe.
Cooking real food.
Adopting stray cats.
Adopting another man.
Marrying again.
Talking.
Talcum powder.
Fly spray.
Hair spray.
Deodorants.
Mathematics
Infinity and how many types there are.
Going to church.
Singing in the street free of charge.
Humming.
Groaning when my knees hurt.
Sitting on Waterstone’s stairs as they have no chair downstairs.
Wearing lovely coats because I have to sit in daft places now they have no benches anywhere.
How my heart sings 