A mother shares

My first news letter
Posted on July 31, 2017

Dear All

Well, I don’t write a letter very often, but after finding a replica of my old pen on E bay I decided to do a Round Robin.
First of all, none of my children have got into Oxford or Cambridge nor have my grandchildren.They are all on the dim side but that is how I like them.I think IQ is very over rated and as mine is 65 when tested you realise I am a mere imbecile and so my ten children take after me.
They all got degrees from places I’d never heard of like Chester, Bolton, Ormskirk, and Hendon.However, as I once lost a job offer from a well known university because I wore an engagement ring I kind of thought being a low flyer might be better.
My brother is very nice.He is changed very much since we were adolescents when he was too put it mildly a pain.He has now told me I am in the top 1% of intelligence in the world.Imagine 99% of the world’s population has an IQ of 64 or less.Don’t expect an imbecile to explain that
I can believe it about our delightful politicians, Theresa Paybum and Horace Yawnsome and their ilk.
My children have done well.One is a violinist in Berlin.As I never go there I cannot be sure if she is lying but she does speak good German or for all I know it might be Yiddish as my great aunt was familiar with that old tongue.Perhaps my daughter is really playing the Jewish harp in a liberal Synagogue.And believe me, it would have to be very liberal to let that flame haired temptress near any man. married or single Is it her fault she is so attractive?After all, she is my daughter and blew dry every hair daily as a teen
My eldest son had to miss an exam before he was accepted at Ormskirk Dental School.You see with 21 GCSE’s grade A star they wanted him to go to Cambridge but he knew his own limits He hates formality
.He preferred being near the great Nature Reserves of the estuary of the Mersey and Nature and its exploration has kept him busy.
Why he even spends whole days in the Mersey Tunnel.He said he wants to found the Universiy of New Brighton but he is still in the tunnel.I said I’d buy him a motorbike but he prefers walking everywhere and camping on the verges of the road maybe giving relief to a few virgins en passant
Being a virgin nowadays is very hard socially.But as a Spanish waiter once said to me ” One virgin is very hard to find” Maybe two are easier…I’m an embecile. so I can’t say
My second daughter is married and lives in Poole. She often walks around the Isle of Purbeck with the triplets in her back pack.How her husband stands her I cannot get.She is lazy and unable to cook even frozen chips.However, the babies are still on the breast and there is a McDonald’s nearby.Her Ph.D was on “Cats in Modern Physics”.She had a wonderful tutor at Wigan University.Why, he married her! Then he got a job in Bournemouth. which is by the sea!She always was lucky.Apart from givinh birth to three boys all at once,if you see what I mean.
How she snagged him I do not know as she has little hair and wears thick glasses but her thesis was the first of its kind.Now everyone is doing animals in abstract mathematics.Or going to Art School to paint like an animal!With your paws!
Well, it’s time for me to warm my frozen pizza on the coal fire so I’ll leave the rest for next time.Don’t take an IQ test.I used to think I was quite bright before.
Au revoir
Katy Krispberger {Siren]

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