By Katherine

I remember mother’s beauty and her coal stained and cracked hands
Each little line was etched in black, like a map to other lands
She always wore an apron that she made from an old dress
How I loved my mother,I did I must confess.

I remember mother’s beauty and the row of nappy pins
She always wore them like a brooch, while we kids made a din
The baby had her rusks and milk, she had a little pot
She slept inside a cradle then she moved into a cot

I remember most Mam’s cooking, the apple dumplings steamed
The kettle too sat on the fire , I played and then I dreamed
She had a tin of buttons, she was ace at making clothes
She knitted like an acrobat to forget her many woes

Her daddy was a miner till he had a heart attack
He came home black and dusty, then he filled his old tin bath
When he retired he got a dog, he loved her very well
He called her Lassie for her name, she was beautiful , my belle

Her daddy came to see us after our own daddy died
He helped our mother with odd jobs, then we all ate scones and cried


My photo

Would you like a massage?

I’ve never cooked one yet.

Could you use a banana?

I need a hammer for this job.

Would you like a packed lunch?

It will take more than lunch to get a pact signed.

Why does corn flake?

It thinks it’s snow

Why do blood vessels narrow?

To make themselves thinner.

How do you spell artery?

Good guess.

Why is this a bad time for sex?

We don’t need them in South Africa

What is a plateau?

The female form of platoon

So how about cartoon?

The masculine form of cart

How about the eau?

Leave it off.


I drank it

Hope the cartwheels were clean.

Do stop panicking.

Where is he?

With Mrs King.

Your help to come

I did this

Cats raised from the dead free

with every bag of nuts


Cods rose to heaven.Getting new

stock on the First Friday of May

Sadness preventative advice.

Love your neighbour daily

Cats claws cut on Sundays

Minced sticklebacks on sale at

the back of the Hospital now

Roads gritted every June.

Talking cats here when Bojo

resigns owing to psychosis.

English as a second language for

cats or mules.

How to believe in Love

The clinic

My photo

So why do you dislike that Clinic

There were two dead cats in the Waiting Room.

What were they waiting for?

And the floor was dirty.

I’m not surprised.

The doctor looked at the computer all the time

I’m afraid they do.

But it wasn’t on.

Shortage of power already?

No, he hadn’t put the plug in.

One of those dreamy intellectuals

Do they read the Sun?

Are you sure he was the doctor?

He was the only person in the room.

He could have killed the doctor and hidden the body


In the Waiting Room !

Is reblogging a good idea?

While reblogging someone’s post is often meant as a compliment,reblogging all of someone else’s posts seems excessive.

It is better to write a piece about a blog you admire and then put links to the posts so that people read the posts on the blog of the person who wrote them.

You need to be careful not to plagiarize.

Reblogging images may put you in breach of copyright also.

As we are taught

Moderation in all things.

That is a good policy otherwise you give the impression you have no ideas of your own to write about so why do you have a blog at all?

Surely nobody has a blog just to put posts there from someone else’s blog?

You can teblog this if you like

Where have all the fractions gone?

My wardrobe trenzy

Get rid of all transcendent numbers of garments Counting them to ensuring War, am They are uncountable and infinitem

Ergo god is a non recurring decimal. , How can he sleep?

By marrying a rational number!

No wonder we have wars by by

Graveyard by author

We can’t even have pi garments.

And pi is irrational to

Uncountable, irrational…what fun to play with number jumbles while drinking nettle tea from Heysham and having a suicide trip in a boat in a thunder storm in fearsome Morecambe Bay .

It’s all you I have loved


If you plan to make love in the night time
If you plan to make love in the day
Have you got medicine near you?
Where is your GNT spray?

How off putting it is with a lover
If the pain hits you when you have kissed
Grab hold of that spray and then use it
Under your tongue is the best

I hope it won’t happen tomorrow
For I am getting married at last
What will the bridegroom be thinking
If I lie down on the floor and then gasp?

His mother is 90 on Sunday
She’s glad he will have a kind wife
I hope I can treat her politely
Without sacrificing my life

300 mg of aspirin
Are stashed in my handbag so white
As well as my Nokia smartphone
My book and a candle to light

But God may decide I am ready
To join in his games up above
If I don’t see you tomorrow
Remember it’s all you I have loved

From today’s Times

      • Jennifer Hornsby32M AGOReplying to J OSo now you acknowledge the state could do more—just as I would acknowledge that (as “Rishi” says) there are limits to what the state can do. Myself I think that in present circumstances, the best option is a once-off wealth tax. But then I’m someone who’d prefer 1.3 million who’d remain very comfortably off to take a bit of a hit than for 1.3 million to be pushed into poverty.