Do you believe in abortion?
I am sorry, I don’t even believe in God
Are you a vegetarian?
I’ll bring my own meat with me.I can bring a joint
Do you believe in women’s right to choose?
I have fifty pairs.
Do you think a wife should obey the husband?
As long as she chose the right one.
Do you like fifty shades of grey?
No, but I can’t afford a cleaner and I am arthritic
Could you write a novel?
No, only a meta-novel
Did you vote Labour
Yes,I can’t see how a lapsed Catholic could do otherwise
How my heart sings 