Now schools open, lockdown comes again Jesus has one shepherd,one wise man Just one beast to keep the family warm And one black sheep to save them all from harm
Nero has one wife who he will kill So he may have five concubines at will The brother gone, which child will he proclaim After he’s fired all Rome up in great flames?
Oh, Jesus on his Cross must die alone Except for Mary’s spirit and her bones One Roman soldier, Pilate with his lie The men who died with him, all crucified Filled with joy, the demons prance around In their septic darkness underground
Beware of getting into hot water in your bikini A few weeks after Annie moved into the lovely house next door to Stan,he met her when he was seeing his wife off to work. Why does Mary not have a car? Annie enquired suspiciously. She is trying to keep slim,Stan told her. Well,she’s not been very successful,Annie said scientifically. She might be much fatter than she is now if she drove a car,he stated ponderously That’s true,muttered Annie loudly.I am your new next door neighbor. Yes,said Stan,I have seen you sunbathing in the garden in your bikinis. How come? she asked merrily yet sternly There’s a big hole in the fence.He said Is it legal to look at women through a hole in the fence?asked Annie.I know it’s illegal to look into their bedroom windows. Is it really,asked Stan nervously,I had no idea.How about women looking at men through a round hole in a fence or square one? Oh,they are not very keen to do that,she lied charmingly. Well,said Stan,clearing his throat,I think I owe it to myself to tell you that I love you. Wow,you’re quick off the mark,the lady said saucily.What do you mean,you owe it to yourself? she continued in a puzzled tone. Nothing,said Stan,I could not think how to word it.I mean I wish to unselfishly love you and admire your ripe body and your cute sense of color.I love your teal trouser suit.And you sing so well in the bath.I can hear you. You didn’t mean you owe it to yourself to take advantage of me? Not unless you want me to take advantage of you,the gallant old man informed her kindly And you can take advantage of me, he said I make cakes and biscuits,wholemeal bread and I am training my cat Emile to do statistics on an i pad. How extraordinary,Annie whispered.I didn’t know cats had an “I.” let alone pads. Well,they have pads on their paws,he informed her intelligently. True,she said,but where are their I’s? Where are our I’s ? he responded in a manner to rejoice the heart of Mary Midgley or Susanne Langer two of Stan’s favourite writers on philosophy,logic,symbols and ethics. Not that he practised the Ethics but he liked to know what he was doing wrong.It’s more fun that way.If you sin,sin big! A man who seduces women merrily one after the other may have no idea it might be wrong.Neither might the women.Why is it wrong? Surely it’s better than killing people,making war or leaving the lid off the jam all night so the wasps get into the jar? Still,not many men get the chances that Stan got.No-one suspected this kindly,handsome practising Catholic was a womaniser despite his blue beard,green eyes,white skin and red hair.And his slim yet strong figure clad in navy trousers and white shirts all the year round.Maybe his wife did but she preferred to read Aristotle in bed and dream about mercury… those little silver balls,so cute! Well,as we know,Stan is about to make Annie his mistress but in such a cold wet summer,where can he take her to do the deed?The shed?The public library? Cafe Nero? I owe it to you not to tell you yet.That will give you time to think of a solution for this sweet old man and his naughty but nice neighbor. Like,how about the confessional in the local Church? Whatever next?
I owe it to myself to keep it secret as you may come along and spoil the fun. Stan went indoors and washed up in the boiling hot water he kept by him constantly as he owed it to himself to be ready to make a hot drink at any moment he fancied and by gum,he did fancy like no man has ever fancied before.So his daemon tells me.
Where the bee sucks, there suck I: In a cowslip’s bell I lie; There I couch when owls do cry. On the bat’s back I do fly After summer merrily. Merrily, merrily shall I live now Under the blossom that hangs on the bou