Mary’s virtual name Part 1

While Annie departed in her unsuitable violet velvet trenchcoat for a holiday in Cleethorpes,Mary took a look at her FaceBook page before cleaning the grate
You are a vile ,vicious person,Mary someone unknown from the Church of the Hard Left had written
Well,I suppose eventually we all get stung by wasps, she muttered silently.Another person wrote, you are too stupid to have been to Oxford
Maybe I should have gone to Cambridge, she pondered
Don’t they realise that if they attack me personally it shows they can’t answer my questions?
Why, there is a name for that…ad hominem?
I know , said Annie, giving Mary a traumatic shock as she made no noise entering.
It was too wet in Cleethorpes and there were no donkeys on the beach so I have come home.
Have you any spare food
You can eat with me,.I doubt if they let large people ride on the donkeys,Mary teased her
Well,I’m not as fat as you,Annie cried rudely unable to contain her rage silently
Even so,you may be too large for a donkey to carry you.Mary advised her ruefully
Well, they should get stronger donkeys,Annie said critically
How about an elephant,Mary joked in her cliched way
What are you doing on FB?
I have changed my surname to my Irish grandmother’s name
What is it?
I’ve never heard of it.
Actually,it’s Scottish
She married a Scot,And I hoped those horrible people won’t know it
You could wash up or make the bed instead
I am tired of making beds and getting dressed
Indeed Mary did look odd in a long striped dress from Land’s End and some hobnailed boots
That dress is weird,Annie called.It’s like something from a Museum
Oh, do stop criticising me;I have seen noone so why worry?Who cares
But God can see you
Do you think God is concerned about me wearing an orange and purple dress?
I have no idea, but I don’t like orange unless it’s the sky at sunset
Oh,my.I didn’t know my clothing might make you feel ill.No wonder men don’t ask me out.
Do you want a man?
Well, they give a background to life;they come in handy like electric tin openers
Emile mewed loudly,I don’t like that.You should value men more
OK Emile,I shall try my best.I’ll have to go to the pub to meet some
Can I come too?
I don’t feel a talking tomcat is a suitable accessory for a lady
I won’t say a word, the poor animal replied.Am I now called McCracken too ?
No, it’s only my virtual name,Mary assured him sensitively
I am sure you could have got a better one, given more time,Annie said thoughtlessly
I just didn’t want to think anymore,Mary said with anger in her voice
I can understand that.There is too much thought and not enough feeling
in modern society.
And so feel all of us
I think

Another flaming war

My hands turned white and later they turned blue
Then they went bright red,my toes did too
How to get my gloves on, my hands swell
It rarely seems as hot as Satan’s hell

Woollen socks won’t fit inside my shoes
Especially when my toes are turning blue
Do not put that ice into my drink
I can smell a rat, what do you think?

Apparently I have a strange disease
That hits on my extremities which freeze
My nose is cold, my ears are stalactites
If I spelt that wrong,do not chastise

Life has variations which annoy
At least it’s not another flaming War