The dentist

The wind  altered direction

Clouds fought,whirled

like flying merry- go -rounds

broken from any bolts

The sky was grey but angry.

Exultant my spirit lifted

A plane at the end of the runway took off

Above the clouds.I saw  the earth

A ball floating through space

Then I landed;felt my weight in the chair.

The dentist was gasping

I thought you’d gone.

I smiled despite the blood.

It was all over

Snake skin

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.”
I am not sure who said this but it seems good to me because it shows  how we are always looking for meaning and in the natural world we can find inspiration and  courage
which are invaluable friends

Emile has a latte and Stan admires the ladies

I used to write these for my husband.He liked them when he was ill.

1623649_462342500565550_503050456_n

What shall we do for  him ? Mary asked Stan.
Well,we can’t ring 999 from here,surely? he replied plaintively
Mary took off her silk scarf and wrapped Emile  up in it.
There you are,that will calm you,she told the nervous cat in her soft voice
Next time we’ll get decaf for you.
Thank you,Emile mioawed.I liked it but it’s very strong.
Stan went inside to pay and found it was £3 per mug…making £9 in total.
Gosh,it’s expensive now,he grumbled.The waiter looked puzzled as he did not recall a time when a cup of tea was 6d and coffee 1 shilling..
Why,I am getting old and tetchy,Stan murmured to himself.
We don’t do it often.Mary said in a warm, kind  and tender voice,something she had more or less permanently.
We enjoy a treat now and then…. and I’ve enjoyed watching people go by.Such a variety now from all over the world.
So did I ,thought Stan,especially the girl with leggings of about 20 denier and a very short top.He’d not seen so much of a woman’s private parts for ages.The fact that the leggings were light grey had made it even more of a thrill;even a sin,maybe,to a Catholic or Jansenist…
But can a man help it if he is excited by the sight and site of what was once reserved for marriage  bed or the brothel.
No,a man cannot help it because we are all animals,we are all flesh and as such we have certain automatic reactions….And in any case even with long dresses on women still look alluring,perhaps more alluring.
Stan fell into a day dream were young ladies were walking about wearing short satin nightgowns and lace peignoirs of silk with gold embroidery….
Very nice! he shouted loudly.
What is very nice? Mary asked
Stan opened his eyes and found he was still outside the Cafe de la Fromage… where are we,he said

Why we are here in Knittingham to  get your shoes in Hotters.
What a funny name for a shoe shop,said Emile.
Is it because shoes make you hotter? I’d like some red shoes,myself.
I fear we can’t afford shoes for you Emile and you’d not be able to climb a tree then either.
I could have slippers for in the house,Emile whispered..
They set off and arrived in Hotters.
Yes,madam.What do you want,asked an elegant  lady assistant.
Some slippers for the cat!
For the cat? Are you barking?
No,that’s a dog.
Emile had found some baby shoes and was trying them on.
Look ,he howled,and all the customers stared at him as he ran up and down the shop floor in them.
OK,said Mary,Two pairs please.
That will be £50,dearie.
Oh,I’ll pay with my debit card.
They left the shop and headed for the bus stop before Mary realised
They had forgotten to buy Stan’s shoes.

Arm 4
Stan didn’t really mind and it meant he could see more female bottoms again the next day.
Suppose men wore leggings,he mused.Would women like to see our private parts while shopping in Tesco’s or Lidl’s?
Time will tell… but ,it seems unlikely to happen here in the UK as men are more conservative ,though we do see men in bathing trunks walking down the road in summertime and alas,they are usually not the ones with the right shaped bodies not to mention that few of us want bare chests  and other body parts pressing closely behind us in the queue to pay for our food and drink and other goods in the supermarket… and they are not very super nowadays.

That strange moment in our life

swirlySometimes there’s a moment in life when you know something is utterly wrong, that your life as you have known it might become something other,something alien.This happened to me in late February 2014 when I took my husband to buy some shoes.
For it seemed he had given away all of his shoes but one pair.It might seem obvious to a practical dreamer like myself that in the winter a man needs two pairs of shoes,in case snow or rain attacks one pair.But  he knew better than I did what he really needed
He never explained.He was really a very quiet man but at the same time an extravert affectionate person.He didn’t share my need to help  or amuse others by explaining why I had done something.That .was one big difference between us.The bigger one was that he was a man and I am a woman,
The shoe shop was crowded but we had no plans to go anywhere else.Then I felt sick.He eventually found a pair he liked;he rejected my suggestion he should get two pairs which turned out to be a wise decision though I had no way of knowing it  on that day.I was like an animal that smells a new scent in the air and has no idea whether to run or to get closer
When we got home I knew:something is going to happen but to which of us?And when? And now I know a I sit here with the deep but almost invisible,indecipherable scar on my Viking  face looking at the mantel shelf where 60 or 70 letters and cards of condolence stand,I know that it was to  both of us but I am the one left behind; the one who arranged the music for the funeral;the one who answered  the  letters .And I am the one who saw death enter,a black shape moving like a dancer across the threshold behind the bold woman who took our lives and tore them apart.As if she were under orders.As if there were no choice.

Durham owl

short-eared durham owl
meditating over the dale's edge,
shadows the fields and folds
in elegant diurnal flight.

on windside,careful sight
may swoop to prey
and away.

your yellow broad-eyed look,
at once both sharp and distant,
holds me.
oh,silence,
oh ,wind on green,
oh. earth,
sky.

immense your held vision,
sphere without centre,
pied geometer of flight,
sketch your descent and ascent.
trees bunched by dry stone wall
call heart home.
%d bloggers like this: