I’ll love three

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From Finland to the Phillipines

Egypt to Xanadu

From the North Pole to  the Netherlands,

I love only you.

That isn’t very Christian

Nor would it please the  Jew.

So  if I must be good,my dear.

Then I’ll love two.

When I get more holy

And know where the virtues be

I’ll  be  even better then

For I’ll love three.

When I get dark, old and grey

And soon will be no more

I’ll make Jesus happy,

For I shall love a score.

From Alaska to Andalucia

Berlin to Borneo

If God spares  me  much longer

I’ll love ninety four!

;

Why do people like to ask questions

Why did Jesus cross the road?

Because he lived on the Other Side.

Why did Jesus cross the road?

Because he saw the Light over there.

Why did Jesus cross the road?

Because the traffic lights were on red.

Why did Socrates invent logic?

Because he had no  TV.

Why did Euclid take a bath?

Because geometry made him sweat.

Why did Plato ban the poet?

Because he had no licence.

Why did Plato like caves?

Because he was prone to sunburn.

Why is fantasy bad?

Because it’s not good for the Market economy

Why do cats laugh?

Because they can’t smile.

Why did Moses cross the desert?

Because  he’d lost his smartphone maps app

Why was Solomon so wise?

Because he mulled over his ideas daily

Why are black sheep considered bad

Because they are rare?

Why does Leonard Cohen wear a hat on stage?

Because he likes attention

Accepting that perfection is remote,

What love and friendship must at least entail

Are boundaries both elastic and firm.

Yet even that is but a mere detail

Less subtle is the need to do .no harm

For in the flush of youthful spirits strong

We do not like to know that all love fades

For when it does we lovers may do wrong

To wickedness we may find we’ve paid

And with the stone faced demons we belong.

Thus friendship love and joy involve the will

To take the other as she comes to be

For such allowing there’s a constant bill

Acknowledging such truth we’ll  surely see.

Accepting that perfection is remote,

We’ll play our tunes and suffer every note

Beware of a PC magazine just out with a free disc containing IOLO software

#HoneysuckleSome people maY recall that I wrote about  this company and how they caused me a  lot of trouble.

DO NOT USE THIS DISC OR ANY OTHER FROM THEM

I found that although I discovered they are a scam  and got my money back in 2013 I found they were taking more moneyin 2014 although I would not have signed up.My credit card company refused me the right to not pay so I contacted IOLO and with a bit of arguing they took my name off.

What hey do is run a free scan which finds a hundred things wrong and then they sell you the stuff to deal with it

I GOT SEVERE BRONCHITIS  AND HAD TO GET A NEW HARD DRIVE ON MY COMPUTER

There are sad stories of poor elderly people being cheated .. look on the net

.BUT WHY IS A COMPUTER MAGAZINE GIVING OUT THIS DISC?

DO NOT TRUST THOSE MAGAZINES… OR THEIR REVIEWS UNLESS SEVERAL  GIVE THE SAME RECOMCMENDATION AND EVEN THEN BEWARE FREE OFFERS OF ANYTHING ON YOUR COMPUTER

A few thoughts from a chaotic householder

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A  maturer man or woman may  liks aural sex ;apparently it’s the aroma of earwax that evokes desire… it’s true!.. Basically you just whisper sweet nothings into their ear or in some cases you could try Newton’s Laws of E-motion on the scientific or the plain daft.This form of loving your neighbor is particularly good for the old as the ear does not need to move unless you are dancing together.

So much for Good Louse Keeping..This old magazine for ladies has closed down as there are not enough lice to keep it so afloat,if you see what I mean,which I don’t as yet

For more advice on love,fashion and relationships try thinking,,yes THINKING.. These mags all written  by people like us so cut the fashion pundits  out and do it yourself.I did and the neighbors are always admiring me me.It’s perhaps because I wear a coral coat,turquoise jeans and  black patent shoes with red laces.Underneath I wear thermal underwear and my late husband’s   vests I found five brand new ones in pure white interlock.= in his chest  of drawers.I must have bought them

All I need now is someone to drink his whiskey.. that could be Alfred my new cat although to be frank Alfred may be a lady as I am too shy to look down there.Maybe the gardener will drink the whiskey and then cut the hedges down

Yes,my husband was very wicked.He died without even opening his new bottle of whiskey and  I prefer brandy.I think he was very thoughtless to waste the money on drink and not to actually drink it.After all you would not pay a sex worker and then die,would you?On second thoughts,it’s possible a man might die in such a case.Do not experiment as  it is very dangerous.Give the money to the poor instead. or buy your partner some flowers and go home and kiss her dear face or his rugged one etc

Yes,I find I am poor as “cheap cameras” at £500 are beyond my budget so instead  I just look at things with my eyes.You just won’t believe what I’ve seen.. the untidiest house in the UK.I am sitting in it right now and it is worse than ever  and with all the spilled tea and coffee  the carpet looks really fed up.With me.Shall I hire a steamer or go  on a cruise missile  as it  were… it’s all nonsense I am afraid and now I speak and write as if I have learned English as a foreign language.

Cats praying
Cats praying

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