My father knew me not or so he always says

Dr Adams was a very kind man

He never fried sprats when they were  soaked in jam

He apologised to the loaf when he cut the bread

And he wept many tears when his ants were found dead..

He was enamoured of spiders because he liked their webs

And even let them build one between his middle ribs.

He loved his wife and allowed  her to be free

So she met a jolly sailor and they went out to sea.

Suddenly he realised,  altruism’s bad

Unless it’s given to  those who really are quite sad.

So he  made a resolution to be a bit more stern

And gave up putting dinner out for   the  earthworms.

He met a kind fair lady and he began to hope

She would marry him and raise some antelopes.

He said she must be free but not quite totally;

Loving other men was not  permitted,you see?

Some  folk can live with a marriage and affairs

Some men even  keep many concubines and  bears.

But he and his new lady decided to be chaste

As loving any other folk was a sorry waste..

They had many off spring of whom I am one

I look like the  pussy cat when all is said and done..

And I like  being groomed and sitting on folks’ knees

Think whate’er you like but it’s fun running up trees.

My father was black and my mother is white

So I am rather grey ,except in a good light.

I have many patches in different shades of grey

I only wish my whiskers didn’t look like hay.

I am hoping to marry when the corn and barley’s ripe

Oh,what fun we’ll have in the middle of the night.