Day: September 8, 2015

Old men are important to society

I   know of  a handsome old man
who keeps his spare cash in a pan.
when he lights the stove
his   money explodes….
So now he lives  just on  wheat bran…

I knew of another old man
Who spent his days  imitating Cezanne
But eating raw fruit
Even when fried en  suite
Is  posthumously not  in God’s plan

Old men are important to society
As they daily must commit impropriety.
They must break the rules
Taught in tough schools
Especially the rules we call dietary

I have frightened Alfred,my foster cat

WhStarling2015-2As  I was boiling some broccoli on the gas stove I received a phone call from abroad from a man claiming he had information about my computer problems.I had been strokng Alfred who was near me.Suddenly the  pan fell over spilling hot water onto my jeans and I screamed.Alfred has disappeared and so has the fraudster.So I am looking at this white starling and wondering if we have any in London or is this  one the only one in the world and if so perhaps Mike could become wealthy  by charging us all for looking at his photos!!

Should Eve and Adam still be here on earth

There is a sense that permeates our souls
Which places value on the good of all.
Humankind is viewed then as a whole.
Blame not allocated to  a Fall.
Shall we believe that God can sulk for aeons
That he will torment  creatures for their sin?
Such theories are dilemmas to our brains
And put us in a  race we cannot win.
Should Eve and Adam still be here on earth
If  on that plum they had not sucked and bit?
It makes our lives seem to have little worth
To take this as a given in Holy Writ.
For  life’s for adults, not for girls and boys.
Do simple theories take the place of toys?

Monsters or psychopaths

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!They who know how to split the atom but have no love in their hearts are monsters!.Krishnamurti.

I wonder if to be successful now we’d have to be monsters in at lastv a small way..Feelings don’t always carry over into actions though.Apparently 1 in 4 people in our society are psychopaths.It’s not easy to spot them as they are usually very charming.Beware of people who make big demands on you too early in a friendship.And charm is easy to learn especially  to be charming online.For then noone can see your eyes

Emotional claustrophobia

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I’ve got emotional claustrophobia and I love to be alone again

I’ve got emotional claustrophobia and I want  no more to do with men

I prefer to be with cats and trees;listening to wild honey bees.

So keep clear and don’t sit on my knees; and never kiss me or I’ll sneeze.

I’ve got emotional claustrophobia ,I need much tougher boundaries

So please don’t call on me for tea.I shan’t let you in,you see.

I like dear people very much; but never use me as a crutch.

I prefer to idle near a tree;people are too much for me.

I prefer to see you from afar and learn from my own radar.

I’ve got emotional claustrophobia and severe  psychic pneumonia

So come to visit me,one day.But  keep the silence for I pray.

I’ll give you cakes and Ceylon tea,as long as you don’t question me.

I’ll fry your bacon,boil your eggs  but never show me both your legs.r

And if you want to make sweet love,you must wear a silken glove.

Whisper nothing in my ear and that may just avert my fear.

I must be married first of course so then I’ll have a quick divorce.

Don’t lean on me for I’m not strong and I cannot keep upright long

But you have legs yourself ,you know.So use your own and they will grow

Boundaries are  useful too,as keeping clear saves catching flu.

But if you’re lonely  use a phone;don’t phone me or I will moan

I now swear and curse a lot;if you see me,don’t forget!

KODAK Digital Still Camera
KODAK Digital Still Camera

Annie’s new autumn outfit

Photo0324Annie was getting ready to go out with Stan to a Wedding.She wore her newest Autumn/Winter clothes.On her lower half she wore a full,long snakeskin print skirt over a fifties style stiff petticoat whilst on her top half she wore a deep ochre boat necked jumper.Underneath  her skirt a pair of chafe prevention shorts gave her extra warmth.She debated for a while about shoes and eventually decided her teal calf length boots from Hotters’ Sale with a pair of socks from Next would suffice,She looked in the mirror.Her freshly washed hair[ with a sulfate free shampoo ] sprang from her head not unlike one  of the Gorgons’ distant relatives.

shoppingPicking up her full length leopard skin coat from Jacques Vert and her red handbag she ran to the door where Stan stood.He wore a machine washable suit from Marks and Spencer with a blue flowered shirt and striped multicoloured tie from TieRack .His short hair was covered  by a woollen hat as they were going to a Jewish Wedding and he did not wish to offend anyone with his bald head.

How does my   new makeup look asked Annie?

I can’t see it at all,Stan said shyly.Do I need my reading glasses?

It’s what they call the natural look,she replied.I have got on continuously creamy foundation in light beige over  Clarins every day moisturiser and  tjeir sunblock Factor 50.

It is so expensive that I can’t eat meat fo a month.

My goodness, Stan moaned.What shade is that  lipstick?

It’s called Romantic Rose,she said .but it’s really more a light coral with a hint of red.

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As for my eye makeup,it’s the usual purple mascara and teal eyeshadow.

Do you think coral and purple go together? said Stan  querulously.

Never mind,she replied,I am more worried about my skirt.Is snakeskin a mistake at a Wedding ?

Oh,no,said Stan.It will remind people of Adam and Eve in Eden.And the snake is also a phallic symbol which seems good..I am just not sure about the leopardskin coat.

Don’t worry she replied I have got a plain dark brown coat in pure new wool here.Shall I wear that?

Stan sat down  on a folding chair to wait for her to finish powdering her complexion with MaxFactor Creme powder and topping her lipstick with a thin coat of some preservative so that if she kissed anyone the lipstick would not bleed into the fine lines around her mouth.

Suddenly Stan’s chair folded up and threw him to the ground.

Is it broken ,he asked nervously from the doormat..

No, it’s ok.I don’t want to ring 999 now.Let’s see how it is when we get back.

Right,said Stan.Let’s go before any more chairs collapse or any paramedics arrive.