Mary and the plant pot

Mary stood in the kitchen wondering why the floor was so dirty.It looked as of a plant pot had fallen over and flung its compost wildly outwards.Emile was standing on his
hind legs pretending he could dance.
Emile, did you knock over a pot,Mary cried?
I’ve never seen a plant pot here, he replied honestly with a hint of dramatic irony
Oh,well.I’ll make some tea,Mary murmured loudly as of dropping a hint to her late husband,Stan.
She was wearing a red fleece dressing gown and slippers as she ran upstairs
to read the Sun.
Suddenly, before she got to the top, her doorbell rang
In ran Dave, the bisexual paramedic, wearing his new dress and top hat
What’s wrong,Mary asked petulantly?
I was just passing and thought I heard a strange noise.His nose dripped like a tap with no washer
Have you got a cold,Emile asked?
Yes, but I am not selling it
Do people sell illnesses?
Yes, some buy polio germs and send tbem with Xmas Cards
To whom, asked Annie, who was in the porch shivering
Their enemies., of course
Well, after Brexit we might all be paralysed as half wanted to leave and half didn’t
Since the average reading age in Britain is 9 years most of us could not understand the information we were given.To read The Guardian you need a reading age of 14.
That explains a lot,said Mary morosely.How can I teach non linear algebra to people who can’t even read the Wailing Nail?
It sounds like the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem
A nail is not a wall, said Emile furtively.
Annie was wearing some shortie pajamas with cats printed all over
which went well with her amber eyes and long nails,
Can I borrow some Weetabix, she asked Mary? I’ll return it
Please don’t, Mary cried in horror.I have 3 packs of Weetabix Protein here
Do you eat them often,Annie teased her?
As often as possible!
Dave was washing Emile’s feet to practise for Maundy Thursday.
Are you Jesus, he asked Dave?
How can I be Jesus and Dave the paramedic at the same time?
Well, if you believe in the Trinity I see no problem
Emile, you are so clever.Noone would believe a cat was so brilliant
Well,said Emile, maybe I am not just a cat,; his amber eyes turned cerulean blue with joy