Cher

Don’t keep your work for private joy

May it be an adult’s toy

My new school uniform

1 Freudian slip

2 woollen pests

5 lawyers briefs

2 rotten blouses.

1 fallen gymslip

1 man’s handkerchiefs,

1 much felt hat

1 gaberdine Mac with stylus

One Android inspiration.

1 no leak mountain pen

One bottle of blue black ink

10 sheets O’Brien paper.

One roll of Sheila tape

10 boxes of Tampax for beginners

Alternatively Catholics may use stick-on pads so they can show the blood to the Bishop.

Bras are permitted if you show yourself to the bishop first

ASDA profits for towels

I once had a good sense of humour

I was also a very late bloomer

Now I am old

As the prophets foretold

It was they who set off the cruel pool uprumour

The cold bedroom

The bedrooms cold and I can’t find the cat

My husband’s done a runner he’s a rat

I wanted to make love he wanted rest

I know the truth he didn’t like my vest

We can’t afford to heat the bedroom more

And anyway we can’t lock any door

Martin Lewis money expert grant us aid

Or I’ll go on the street where I’ll get paid

The furtive men in cars won’t see my vest

All in all I think that is the best

The government intend us to be whores.

When they stop our benefits

And much much more

Just a little bit wrong

The car wouldn’t part

The bell doesn’t ding

The letter clocks won’t open

The doorknob is too big.

The bureau drawer won’t cut

I can’t see through my few lasses.

What rhyme do you have breakfast in the morning?

The bed has not been laid

The kitchen table needs hugging

The stove is past its chest

I can’t find the quake tins

Joints of beef wank in an overheated oven.

Where are the large sinner plaits?

I can’t eat beat without the salted zipper

Welsh women eat a lot of mustard

Do you use a table sauce in the evening?

I like a plastic tablecloth for ease of weaning

I can’t find any cutlery al knew

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Deprivation and depression

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/jul/13/we-cannot-fight-depression-without-first-tackling-deprivation

Access to green space and a good diet are crucial for mental health, yet politicians don’t seem to join the dots, writes Dr Michael Peel

Alphabet

Attraction and attentiveness advantage aged and ailing

bizarre and blatant behaviour brings bother

conclusions confusing call for care in community

damned drugs do damage downwind,dearie

evidence and experience entwine and enthrall in the educational experiment

fortunes foretold frequently favor the fundamental frictions of friends too familar for freedom

gerontology gigs :granpa’s groaning and glorious green grave

haematological harassment has harmed the hospital hawfully

infiltration in the interior is indeed intriguing

jesuitical jousting jars the jauntless

logic leaning lefties leave a legacy of lassitude and longing longafter

meaningful mysterious and mad:my memoirs

nominally no names need numbers for numberless narcissistic needs

outrageous odium often overestimates our omnipotent orderings of ownership

perfidious proud and parsimonious:phillipa the peaceloving princes of paris and her perils and pastimes

quarantine ,quakes and quivers in the quorum are quotidian

romantic revelations rolled round recklessly in their romping room ,revealing ruth in the rug

supernatural smart-ware seems “sensible” sometimes

talking tantrum tweakers take the tablet together then tend towards tenderness

walking wonders work out well worn in winter

x-amine xylophones for xxxxxxxxx

yearnings of the young yield to years of yardwork and yacking

zygotes and zen:zoology for zoned out zombies

Oh happy mean oh centre that can hold

August 28, 2016
Enriched with age, we suffer from the cold,
Yet torrid heat’s a danger to the heart.
The passion that a youthful one just moulds
Would kill some humans old and over-bold.
Oh. happy mean;oh centre that can hold!
This will give us one fine place to start.
Enriched with age, we learn to deal with cold
Yet torrid heat still threatens fragile hearts

Ban on rosary beads

How will we be affected by the ban on rosary beads being used on buses?How many extra police will we need?This could solve the job crisis!Similarly, will nuns have their veils removed in Shopping Malls and dog collars only be allowed on dogs.Whatever next? Take that St Christopher medal out of your car window lest it harass a secular person.