My new school uniform

1 Freudian slip

2 woollen pests

5 lawyers briefs

2 rotten blouses.

1 fallen gymslip

1 man’s handkerchiefs,

1 much felt hat

1 gaberdine Mac with stylus

One Android inspiration.

1 no leak mountain pen

One bottle of blue black ink

10 sheets O’Brien paper.

One roll of Sheila tape

10 boxes of Tampax for beginners

Alternatively Catholics may use stick-on pads so they can show the blood to the Bishop.

Bras are permitted if you show yourself to the bishop first

I welcome comments and criticism

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