I have half a mind

Dear teacher, John will be late for school because he has got no mind today

I have borrowed it because I have lost Annette

Dear sir my son will not be coming to school till lunchtime because I can’t afford to give him any breakfast.

We can see lectures from there university of the third age on our phones while we share a raw onion Mary

0h dear,teacher Johnny is bringing my mind into school today . Please don’t let him lose it whatever you Sara

Dear teacher, Mary is menstruating today so do not give her a piece of your mind.

She is always in the back of mine and I intend to keep it that way but you can give her some free protection before she comes Lucy

Dear sir or madam, my offspring will be late coming to school today. They can’t decide whether they need breakfast M y mind is in state of torment I can say the same thing for my body since I got anorexia Dave

Where did you find your minds this morning? Were they on your book or were you enjoying some fantasies?

It doesn’t matter as long as you have a mind of your Katherine.

To the teacher

My children will be late for school today because they have driven me out of my mind and I have no petrol to drive back.

I hope you don’t mind as they are so privileged children in the class. Remind me soon


Dear madam it is on to have my children taught by you. Would you mind if I asked you out on a date because I have got no figs in the house. Tom

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