I’m feeling very loose

Photo by Ksenia Chernaya on Pexels.com

I can’t wear no trousers cos my bladder’s gone to pot
When it leaks and flows my face goes red and hot
So wearing skirts is easier, as noone else will note
My bottom’s hidden gorgeously, halleluja, a teal coat

My feet have got three arches and now all of them have dropped
My toes are twisted sideways and get into tightish knots
My shoes are on a stretcher and I am in a chair
My feel look really horrible when like me they are bare

If you despise this poetry, blame it on my jab
My head is reeling wildly, the pain is like a stab
My hands were once so slender, my sister was annoyed
She thought I’d get attention from the handsomest of boys

My eyes are large and beautiful but they are not much use
But I have learned insouciance and I’m feeling very loose.

Photo by Matteus Silva de Oliveira on Pexels.com