Very trying

I like cheese pudding very much
When I beat eggs with a crutch

Plum tomatoes are the best
For human beings and for pests

We must eat fruit and salad green
Steak and kidney in our dreams

A cat is spying from the shed
I wish I had it in my bed

Lock the door, its pudding time
Don’t pour cream on my design

Water, water, give me help!
I have got a burning scalp

I cut my hair all by myself
Unless it was a gnome or elf

Underneath the arches,I sit and scheme with you
Underneath the larches, the birds are feeling blue

Complaints

The BBC is flooded by complaints
People missed their favourite shows last night
Prince Philip died, “they” say he was no Saint

Much appreciation he had earned
When lesser men might well have taken flight
The BBC is flooded by complaints

The Queen will ache like every widow aches
This weeping will not show itself in sight
Prince Philip died, he was her much loved mate

Her tears might well if all the childen spoke
Keeping her new mask on will denote
The BBC is flooded by complaints

This is not the time to hurl out cruel taunts
Get your pen and write as I have wrote
Prince Philip died, “they” say he was no Saint

The children of Victoria caused much hate
The Kaiser and the Tsar in the same boat
The BBC is flooded by complaints
Prince Philip died, “they” say he was no Saint