Thank you for messing with my life

Thank you for telling me I have won a million pounds.I can’t send money to you as I have no bank account.
And I didn’t buy a ticket

Yes,I was in a crash last week but it was my computer

No, my husband did not take a woman to an hotel last week.His ashes are here

My husband did kill a spider but only because I dropped the urn when dusting

If you were the Tax Office you would speak English.

I did not enter a competition for a 67 inch TV.We use centimetres now

I do not want a visa for the USA.I have no passport.And no money

There was an accident here, you are correct.I trod on a spider and I am still weeping.The spider is too

Make the words fit the metre

Photo by Luis del Ru00edo on


Oh,Emile got up, then he yawned & stretched
Cat pandiculationFor cats get stiff and cats get tense
They won’t write no dissertations
Emile called to Stan and Stan got up
Pet manipulationion
Stan made tea and fed Emile
Emile’s ecstasisulation
Mary came and she saw old Stan
Oh, a manifestation?
Are you real,she called to him
What impertinentication!|
I like your cheek, her husband cried
Show me your appreciation
Where is that, his dear wife said.
Is it underneath my aprion?
Well,Leonard Cohen did mention this
I’m damned by my own veneration
Oh,Stan get up and get us gin
This is pure excruciation
Calm down,Mary.I am back
This is a mere notification
Well,I have got myself another man
What a pestification
Does he sleep by you in bed at night?
There may be an evacuation
Don’t be rude, we thought you had gone
I’ll drown in my own perspiration
I feel such shame at seeing these men
It’s torment and it’s a tribulation
The doctor told me you were dead
Is it conspirification?
Send a code to my phonionion
That will verify my restoration
And om