Before my father died I was naughty with no fear.I stole sweets on my way to Church to confess my no doubt dreadful sins
I didn’t do it just for the taste.I was carrying out an experiment.The shop was in the front toom of a terraced house.The lady who ran it was usually in the kitchen so there were a couple of minutes when one was alone next to the sweets
Yes, it was possible to put some sweets into a pocket before she got into the shop
I only did this once
After my father died,I began to worry and of course decided it was my fault.So I spent many years feeling anxious.It got so bad I lost the ability to speak but as I was very quiet no-one noticed.That bothered me
Doing my A levels was very hard.The exams were 3 hours long but I could not stay in the room more than 1.5 hours.I hated the nuns, the school, the church,my mother etc
But I believed if I got angry my mother would die.If the nuns died I didn’ t mind
Luckily I passed the exams and got away.I was happy at University where people were polite to me.I met non-Catholics for the first time.I had a grant.There were fine bookshops and beautiful buildings and a choice of food [I had found eating difficult]
I think I only just managed to get away in time as my mind was nearly broken up.
If you feel worried that you are a sinner and going to Hell remember that it is not God who sends cruel thoughts into your mind,After all God is very busy looking after the Universe.He doesn’t have any concern about children/adults being naughty
It’s those children who are never naughty that we need to help.
Or men of power who are not just naughty but are unconcerned with others’ well being
or even unconcerned about killing millions in Iraq and then wondering why there are refugees drowning as they try to ge away from the horrors in the Middle East.
