On the e referal form it said, witch particular doctor do you want to see?
I thought, they must be using voice typing except we had to write the answer
Is it a Freudian slip?
Or maybe with the pandemic we are going to get witch dctors where there aren’t enough
Which witch doctor would you like?
Would you like a witch doctor?
I feel bewitched already
Be off Witch
Attracted by the first line of your verse
I set myself in aspic and feel worse
Drawn over to your garden by a rose
I broke my glasses then I broke my nose
When I left I felt like being soothed
Oriental massage made me bruised
When the books I read were full of dust
I felt I had to get them off my chest
I wonder why the doctor was so kind
I was dead but now I’m going blind
My doctor is a brilliant young man
He’s got a Ph.D, she’s çalled Diane
He wondered why I eat just Weetabix
Why ask a pin to explain why it pricks?
Mother gave us Ovaltine and cake
Surely one day she must learn to bake
Why do we have roast beef on Sundays?
So mother can clean the oven while we go for a walk in the park?
I say, what thick lips you have!
Is that a compliment or an insult?
For Xmas he gave me lavender wax polish and a new duster
I gave him an insult
For my birthday he gave me silk scarf.He’s never noticed I don’t wear scarves, bracelets and dangly earrings.
I wonder why he married you?
So does he.
I got so angry,I said I suggest you marry a man next time.Someone as obnoxious as you.
He said, it’s a sin
Well, think how I feel.
He loved dripping.He bought a new car just to drive around Essex seeing if the butchers sold beef or bacon dripping
He died of blocked arteries.They were worse than the North Circular before the M25
What about the car?
Is that all you can think of when I have lost my husband?
Well, you should have eaten all the dripping yourself
What!Murderess.You wish I’d died first?
It might have stopped a lot of arguments
Shooting every one in Britain would have stopped brexit
Except for the gunmen
The EU would not want them.
What’s logic got to do with it?
I wish that I could be inside a tree
To put my entire body in its form
To feel the sun and wind and hear the bees
I’d like my hands to dance as flexibly
As birds move through the air, as rises dawn
I wish that I could feel myself a tree
I’d love my garden sweetly, ardently.
I’d love each single daisy on the lawn
I’d feel the sun and wind and hear the bees
But would a holly want to be just me?
Oh, poor tree that walks about forlorn
I wish that I could turn into a tree.
Perhaps a cat that sat upon my knee
Would mioaw inside my home by dust deformed
She would love the sun and wind and hear the bees
When I change,I’ll keep you all informed
You may hear me singing in the Storms
I wish that I could dwell within a tree
Feel the loving sun and kiss the bees
I said there’s no access,not,you’ve got sepsis
I said.we’re having chicken today not where the dickens is May
I said, why not go to bed, not, try not to wed
I said turn off the taps, not take a nap
I said,good night darling ,not god, that’s appalling
I said, give me a kiss not, what a near miss
I asked if you were here, not can you steer
Well, that was an error,I was full of terror