Vulgar is the night

I need all these toilet rolls in case I have a nosebleed,officer
Try using tampax instead
Suppose they get stuck?
Go to A and E
I might get Covid 19
Who is he?

I saw everyone was buying Andrex  in large packs.So I thought Boris Johnson had died

I need all these toilet rolls to  make Xmas crackers from the tubes,my Lord

I  thought they might sell out so I bought 200 more.Is that a crime?

I suffer from a weak bladder, so I need to keep drying myself,officer
Wear a  pad
What, an iPad?
Well,  don’t  use a kindle  Fire
Why not?
You might get burned
Can I put suncream on my female organ?
As long as you don’t play  the organ  for a few hours
I thought, this  is why we can’t sunbathe in the park
But we can sunbathe at home if we take the roof off the house
How mad is that?

6 thoughts on “Vulgar is the night

    1. Thank you Syd. wish my husband could see me.Not that he ever noticed.I once made a wrap around skirt and he was terrified it would drop off me while we were out!So he did notice that
      If I get stuck I write these funny posts.But part of me likes them anyway,Katherine

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Thank you katherine. What we’ve been redced to that we have to worry about such matters totally lacking in beauty from morning to night. But your spirits if this poem is indicative, seem high. I hope you are doing the kind of writing that will express your substatial talents. This is a temporary condition and if we’re smart, careful, and lucky we will meet on the other sde of it. Best

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you,David.Let’s pray that it will soon pass .The poor are suffering immensely.And I find it hard not seeing my friends .As for people buying 200 toilet rolls… what can I say?

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    2. I am struggling some days being in the LockdownThat’s why I write some peculiar things like this.If I stopped for a week I’d find it tough to start again,I am reading more good books and Letters of Ted Hughes which are illuminating,It makes me regret that we don’t write letters any more.Do hope you are coping with that madman.How can he go on?
      Let’s hope we will not be in Lockdown too long and remember how Anne Frank and her family were in hiding for 2 years unable to go out then they were captured and this teenage girl sent to a Death Camp.How deep is our civilisation?

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