Hens  don’t see the point

What do you say to 21 eggs?
Where are the other three?

Why do eggs come in boxes of six
Because hens can’t count past six!

Why do Sainsburys sell eggs in fifteens?
Their  hens are more intelligent than the others

Will egg boxes be decimalised?
Hens  don’t see the point

Why are eggs good for rubbing on the hair?
Because it takes longer to shampoo them out

How many eggs are in an  omelette?
None,they are on the outside.

Is it a sin to steal eggs?
Yes, if they are human.

Are eggs used in warfare?
Their atoms are.

Can we measure the velocity  and position of eggs?
No, but we feel it when they hit us


Dusting  books and washing garden gnomes

I  am saving money  locked at home
Whenever I go out I buy a drink
Not to mention  books and garden gnomes

No bubble baths to cover me in foam
Lots more  time to write and  truly think
I  am saving money  locked at home

While I sleep, the elves and fairies roam
Putting dirty mugs into the sink
Dusting  books and washing garden gnomes

Is Pope Francis locked down while in  Rome ?
God looks down and even he  might flinch
I  will send  the cash to help folk cope

Wisdom lies in libraries uncombed
Digital security’s a bitch
Not to mention   research   into gnomes

 Might I disguise myself and  be a witch
Can I do some magic and get rich?
I  am saving money  locked at home
Surrounded by my  books and garden gnomes