Annie the nubile ex-mistress of Stan and colour fancying neighbour of Mary has persuaded Mary that as Stan has run away she should find someone else.Mary is doubtful
First of all,Annie cried,you need some brand new delicate shoes.No man will be charmed by those chunky ,comfy flatties.Nor do your socks show sophistication.
Though a farmer might be happy with them
She herself wore a pink tweed suit and some high heeled boots in purple patent leather over a blue silk pair of socks.
Well,Mary,answered,I thought I should be myself because they might be annoyed being tricked.I would be.
That’s their problem said Annie, somewhat rudely.
Well.where do I get the sort of socks a man would like,if indeed all men are the same in that way?
I’d stick with silky black ones,said Annie kindly.Then some smart black pumps.That simplifies life.
But if I look at Soul-mates online the men will not know what shoes I have got on nor socks
That’s true,said Annie.At least until you meet one if you ever do.
Anyway if it is called Soul-mates,why does my body matter?
Don’t be so literal,dear.You know it’s just a way of indicating they want a lover.
Well.in that case it’s my lingerie that matters more than my shoes.
See here,said Annie bossily.With those shoes and socks nobody will want to see your lingerie
Just as well ,said Mary calmly.I don’t have any.
Are you telling me you have no underwear on,Annie cried with shock in her tone.Your trousers will need washing more often!!
I am wearing some woollen vests and underpants I got for Stan,Mary said shyly.I like wool.
What do you think a man will assume if you wear that?
That I can’t afford to have the fire on,Mary queried timidly.
He might think you are transgender.
I have heard of transcendence but not transgender,Mary admitted ruefully.I did used to have a purple bra, she continued distractedly.
Anyway, what about my learning and job as a maths professor?
Don’t put anything about maths on the form.They hate clever women.
Surely they are not all the same,Mary answered.Mary Archer is very clever and she’s been married 50 years
You can’t generalise from one example ,Annie informed her statistically
How about my love of Wittgenstein?Shall I mention that?
If you wear men’s woollen underwear and love a dead, gay philosopher it will cut down the pool of men available.
I don’t think I’ll bother,Mary whispered.I don’t like fishing.I’d rather have a cup of tea.
Really.said Annie.I don’t know why you decided to try this.
I never did it was you.I am quite happy as I am given the dangers of this world.
And so say most of us.Amen.