How not to visit the sick

I would come to see you Sunday since you broke your leg but I want to go to Mass.

I will pray for you instead

Dear God

If you cure my illness I will go to Church on Sundays for ever

As if God needs people to go to Church.

If God  did not prevent the Holocaust why would he stop your car from crashing?

Dear God

If I pass the pharmacy shall I buy you some gripe water?

I could put it into the holy water font 

Then a still small voice whispered to me

Stop talking and listen

Crikey